In this episode of The Narcissism Decoder, I’m joined once again by therapist and author Kristal DeSantis, who returns to share another vital strategy for staying safe in relationships with narcissistic partners. This time, we focus on the importance of self-regulation and how it serves as a cornerstone for maintaining healthy relationships.

We explore the differences between healthy and unhealthy conflict, emphasizing the value of self-expression and accountability in navigating emotional dysregulation. Healthy conflict allows both partners to share their perspectives constructively, while unhealthy conflict often devolves into name-calling and emotional escalation. 

Our conversation also delves into how attachment styles shape the way people navigate relationships, the transformative potential of therapy for learning self-regulation, and the skills needed to express emotions effectively. 

Higher Listenings: Joy for Educators
A new podcast from Top Hat delivering ideas, relief, and joy to the future of teaching.

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

To read more about the various facets of narcissism please click here

If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information.

For more information about Dr. Mazzella’s psychoanalytic affiliations and membership in The International Psychoanalytic Association (IPA) -which is restricted to psychoanalysts who fulfill the most recognized international standards for psychoanalytic training- please click here

For a deeper dive into narcissism, I now offer courses approved for continuing education credits, available [here]. As a NYS Education Department-approved provider (#SW-0211), licensed social workers in New York can earn credits through these programs. Also, these courses are a wonderful opportunity for those who may simply want to further educate themselves on all issues related to narcissistic and personality disorder dynamics.

You can follow The Narcissism Decoder on:

https://www.instagram.com/thenarcissism.decoder/

https://www.tiktok.com/@thenarcissismdecoder

...

As the holiday season approaches, I want to thank you for your ongoing support and share my gratitude for your time and engagement each week. The holidays can be a mix of joy and challenges, especially when complex family dynamics arise, so please know you’re not alone—I’m here if you need support. Looking ahead to 2025, I’m excited to bring more expert guests to the podcast to offer fresh perspectives on narcissism and relationships, helping us explore diverse approaches to these complex dynamics. Your feedback keeps me inspired, so please continue sharing your thoughts. Wishing you a peaceful holiday season and looking forward to continuing this journey together in the new year. 

To read more about the various facets of narcissism please click here

If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information.

For more information about Dr. Mazzella’s psychoanalytic affiliations and membership in The International Psychoanalytic Association (IPA) -which is restricted to psychoanalysts who fulfill the most recognized international standards for psychoanalytic training- please click here

For a deeper dive into narcissism, I now offer courses approved for continuing education credits, available [here]. As a NYS Education Department-approved provider (#SW-0211), licensed social workers in New York can earn credits through these programs. Also, these courses are a wonderful opportunity for those who may simply want to further educate themselves on all issues related to narcissistic and personality disorder dynamics.

You can follow The Narcissism Decoder on:

https://www.instagram.com/thenarcissism.decoder/

https://www.tiktok.com/@thenarcissismdecoder

...

In this episode of The Narcissism Decoder, I’m joined by therapist and author Crystal DeSantis. Together we explore the complexities of navigating relationships with narcissistic partners. Crystal talks about the importance of self-awareness in understanding relationship dynamics and creating safety as a foundation for healthy connections. We also dive into why many individuals seek emotional connection but struggle to achieve it, noting that true connection requires both vulnerability and skill. We clarify the difference between emotional dumping and genuine vulnerability and explore how relationships can become transactional rather than deeply emotional. Finally, we focus on building essential communication and conflict resolution skills that pave the way for relationship success. This episode offers actionable insights for those striving to create more meaningful and fulfilling partnerships.

Higher Listenings: Joy for Educators
A new podcast from Top Hat delivering ideas, relief, and joy to the future of teaching.

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

To read more about the various facets of narcissism please click here

If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information.

For more information about Dr. Mazzella’s psychoanalytic affiliations and membership in The International Psychoanalytic Association (IPA) -which is restricted to psychoanalysts who fulfill the most recognized international standards for psychoanalytic training- please click here

For a deeper dive into narcissism, I now offer courses approved for continuing education credits, available [here]. As a NYS Education Department-approved provider (#SW-0211), licensed social workers in New York can earn credits through these programs. Also, these courses are a wonderful opportunity for those who may simply want to further educate themselves on all issues related to narcissistic and personality disorder dynamics.

You can follow The Narcissism Decoder on:

https://www.instagram.com/thenarcissism.decoder/

https://www.tiktok.com/@thenarcissismdecoder

...

In this episode,  we delve into the complexities of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and its similarities with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). The conversation explores the emotional struggles faced by individuals with BPD, particularly their fear of abandonment and the impact on their communication styles. We contrast the literal mode of communication often seen in BPD with the representational mode that fosters deeper connections and self-reflection. Finally, insights into navigating emotional responses and the significance of self-compassion in managing intense feelings are provided.

Higher Listenings: Joy for Educators
A new podcast from Top Hat delivering ideas, relief, and joy to the future of teaching.

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

To read more about the various facets of narcissism please click here

If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information.

For more information about Dr. Mazzella’s psychoanalytic affiliations and membership in The International Psychoanalytic Association (IPA) -which is restricted to psychoanalysts who fulfill the most recognized international standards for psychoanalytic training- please click here

For a deeper dive into narcissism, I now offer courses approved for continuing education credits, available [here]. As a NYS Education Department-approved provider (#SW-0211), licensed social workers in New York can earn credits through these programs. Also, these courses are a wonderful opportunity for those who may simply want to further educate themselves on all issues related to narcissistic and personality disorder dynamics.

You can follow The Narcissism Decoder on:

https://www.instagram.com/thenarcissism.decoder/

https://www.tiktok.com/@thenarcissismdecoder

...

In this episode, we explore the complex relationship between parental alienation and narcissism, focusing on how one parent may manipulate a child to reject the other, creating loyalty conflicts and psychological manipulation. We discuss how these dynamics can foster codependency between the child and the alienating parent, who may project unresolved anger and create a polarized view of the other parent. The episode also delves into the narcissistic fantasies driving these behaviors, impacting the child's perception of relationships and reality. 

To read more about the various facets of narcissism please click here

If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information.

For more information about Dr. Mazzella’s psychoanalytic affiliations and membership in The International Psychoanalytic Association (IPA) -which is restricted to psychoanalysts who fulfill the most recognized international standards for psychoanalytic training- please click here

For a deeper dive into narcissism, I now offer courses approved for continuing education credits, available [here]. As a NYS Education Department-approved provider (#SW-0211), licensed social workers in New York can earn credits through these programs. Also, these courses are a wonderful opportunity for those who may simply want to further educate themselves on all issues related to narcissistic and personality disorder dynamics.

You can follow The Narcissism Decoder on:

https://www.instagram.com/thenarcissism.decoder/

https://www.tiktok.com/@thenarcissismdecoder

...

This week on The Narcissism Decoder, we’re revisiting our most popular episode - which is on covert narcissism. Originally recorded during the podcast’s early days, the sound quality reflects our humble beginnings but remains clear and full of valuable insights. Whether you’re a new listener or returning for a fresh perspective, this episode offers a rich exploration of covert narcissism, with practical examples and guidance for navigating these challenging relationships. Take this opportunity to reflect and reintegrate, and we’ll be back next week with brand-new content!

Higher Listenings: Joy for Educators
A new podcast from Top Hat delivering ideas, relief, and joy to the future of teaching.

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

To read more about the various facets of narcissism please click here

If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information.

For more information about Dr. Mazzella’s psychoanalytic affiliations and membership in The International Psychoanalytic Association (IPA) -which is restricted to psychoanalysts who fulfill the most recognized international standards for psychoanalytic training- please click here

For a deeper dive into narcissism, I now offer courses approved for continuing education credits, available [here]. As a NYS Education Department-approved provider (#SW-0211), licensed social workers in New York can earn credits through these programs. Also, these courses are a wonderful opportunity for those who may simply want to further educate themselves on all issues related to narcissistic and personality disorder dynamics.

You can follow The Narcissism Decoder on:

https://www.instagram.com/thenarcissism.decoder/

https://www.tiktok.com/@thenarcissismdecoder

...

In this episode, we delve into the complexities of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), exploring its emotional impact, characteristics, and the critical differences between BPD and Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). We discuss the role of self-image, emotional reactivity, and mentalization in individuals with BPD, emphasizing the importance of understanding these dynamics for effective treatment. The conversation also highlights strategies for emotional regulation and the significance of emotional validation in fostering stability for those affected by BPD.
Soundbites: 

• "An unstable self-image leads to unstable relationships."
• "The ego has difficulty holding up a consistent sense of self."
• "Emotional validation is a bridge to self-regulation."

Higher Listenings: Joy for Educators
A new podcast from Top Hat delivering ideas, relief, and joy to the future of teaching.

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

To read more about the various facets of narcissism please click here

If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information.

For more information about Dr. Mazzella’s psychoanalytic affiliations and membership in The International Psychoanalytic Association (IPA) -which is restricted to psychoanalysts who fulfill the most recognized international standards for psychoanalytic training- please click here

For a deeper dive into narcissism, I now offer courses approved for continuing education credits, available [here]. As a NYS Education Department-approved provider (#SW-0211), licensed social workers in New York can earn credits through these programs. Also, these courses are a wonderful opportunity for those who may simply want to further educate themselves on all issues related to narcissistic and personality disorder dynamics.

You can follow The Narcissism Decoder on:

https://www.instagram.com/thenarcissism.decoder/

https://www.tiktok.com/@thenarcissismdecoder

...

 In this episode, we delve into the complexities of narcissistic relationships, examining the emotional dynamics that often unfold. We focus on the concept of omnipotent incorporation, where narcissists attempt to control or merge with their partners, denying them individuality. Through personal anecdotes and clinical examples, we illustrate the emotional impact of being in a relationship with a narcissist. Finally, we offer insights on navigating these challenging dynamics, emphasizing the importance of creating space from the merged experience to foster healthy dialogue and mutual understanding.
Chapters

00:00
Understanding Narcissistic Relationships

02:46
The Dynamics of Conversation with Narcissists

06:07
The Concept of Omnipotent Incorporation

09:10
Navigating Control and Power Struggles

11:53
The Role of Envy in Narcissistic Relationships

15:11
Strategies for Managing Narcissistic Interactions

18:03
Creating Space for Healthy Dialogue

21:05
Conclusion and Resources for Understanding Narcissism

Higher Listenings: Joy for Educators
A new podcast from Top Hat delivering ideas, relief, and joy to the future of teaching.

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

To read more about the various facets of narcissism please click here

If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information.

For more information about Dr. Mazzella’s psychoanalytic affiliations and membership in The International Psychoanalytic Association (IPA) -which is restricted to psychoanalysts who fulfill the most recognized international standards for psychoanalytic training- please click here

For a deeper dive into narcissism, I now offer courses approved for continuing education credits, available [here]. As a NYS Education Department-approved provider (#SW-0211), licensed social workers in New York can earn credits through these programs. Also, these courses are a wonderful opportunity for those who may simply want to further educate themselves on all issues related to narcissistic and personality disorder dynamics.

You can follow The Narcissism Decoder on:

https://www.instagram.com/thenarcissism.decoder/

https://www.tiktok.com/@thenarcissismdecoder

...

In this episode of The Narcissism Decoder, we delve into the complexities of pathological narcissism, focusing on the grandiose self-structure and its origins. We explore how caregivers’ excessive praise and validation shape this self-concept, leading to a fragile identity that oscillates between superiority and feelings of inadequacy. Through clinical examples, we illustrate the limitations of consistent emotional support and the pitfalls of relying on admiration instead of genuine connection. Fostering empathy, and engaging in self-reflection to cultivate an authentic self is a good start, but not enough to make inroads into the grandiose structure. We emphasize the need to challenge grandiosity as a crucial step for personal growth. 

Higher Listenings: Joy for Educators
A new podcast from Top Hat delivering ideas, relief, and joy to the future of teaching.

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

To read more about the various facets of narcissism please click here

If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information.

For more information about Dr. Mazzella’s psychoanalytic affiliations and membership in The International Psychoanalytic Association (IPA) -which is restricted to psychoanalysts who fulfill the most recognized international standards for psychoanalytic training- please click here

For a deeper dive into narcissism, I now offer courses approved for continuing education credits, available [here]. As a NYS Education Department-approved provider (#SW-0211), licensed social workers in New York can earn credits through these programs. Also, these courses are a wonderful opportunity for those who may simply want to further educate themselves on all issues related to narcissistic and personality disorder dynamics.

You can follow The Narcissism Decoder on:

https://www.instagram.com/thenarcissism.decoder/

https://www.tiktok.com/@thenarcissismdecoder

...

In this episode, we examine the complexities of pathological narcissism, focusing on how the grandiose self-structure ("big ego") shapes relationships and hinders authentic connection. Using the case of a man named Barry, we explore how grandiosity serves as a defense against low self-esteem and painful emotions, leading to the creation of a false self. We discuss how understanding these dynamics is crucial for fostering deeper, more genuine relationships. This episode also highlights key therapeutic techniques to help individuals reflect on their grandiose beliefs and work toward cultivating their true selves. 

Higher Listenings: Joy for Educators
A new podcast from Top Hat delivering ideas, relief, and joy to the future of teaching.

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

To read more about the various facets of narcissism please click here

If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information.

For more information about Dr. Mazzella’s psychoanalytic affiliations and membership in The International Psychoanalytic Association (IPA) -which is restricted to psychoanalysts who fulfill the most recognized international standards for psychoanalytic training- please click here

For a deeper dive into narcissism, I now offer courses approved for continuing education credits, available [here]. As a NYS Education Department-approved provider (#SW-0211), licensed social workers in New York can earn credits through these programs. Also, these courses are a wonderful opportunity for those who may simply want to further educate themselves on all issues related to narcissistic and personality disorder dynamics.

You can follow The Narcissism Decoder on:

https://www.instagram.com/thenarcissism.decoder/

https://www.tiktok.com/@thenarcissismdecoder

...