Soul-Shaking Love

We've all heard that we need to love ourselves before we can love another person, but how do we do that? I read Dating and Relationship Coach Jonathon Aslay's book called "What The Heck Is Self-Love, Anyway?" and I thought that the concepts are simple but not easy...and the modern dating landscape is so fraught with challenges that it can seem like a pipe dream to maintain dignity in it.

Jonathon says that dating reveals the most common emotional health challenges we face: it's hard to stay in the game if we don't have high amounts of self-worth, self-regard, and self-love. So I called Jonathon back on my show to pick his brain about how he uses self-love practices to help singles over 40 cut through the crap and find lasting love.

Here's what we cover in our interview:

How does Jonathon define self love and know if you are really loving yourself?

What are the key mindsets that help us to have the ability to change old habits so we’re feeling more self-awareness, compassion, and love?

What are the layers of programming that we all have and how do self-awareness and personal responsibility help us peel back the layers to shift into self love?

How do you experience self-love even when you’ve been hurt or abandoned in a relationship or breakup?

Why do we need self-love in order to recognize red flags when you’re dating?

Follow Jonathon on YouTube for his free gifts: https://www.youtube.com/@JonathonAslay

You can get Jonathon's book, "What the Heck Is Self-Love Anyway?" here: https://amzn.to/4fQPZPW

More about Jonathon Aslay:

Jonathon Aslay, one of America's Leading Mid-Life Dating Coaches, has expanded into a deeper, essential philosophy of what it truly means to LOVE. After losing his 19-year-old son Connor in 2018, Jonathon Aslay’s grief led him on a soul-searching inner journey, where he became aware of an often overlooked dimension of the dating conversation. He realized that the dating process reveals the most common emotional health issue faced by many singles seeking a partner: a distressing lack of self-worth, self-regard, and self-love. Today, he is on a mission of encouraging both men and women to fully love themselves with his new book, "What The Heck Is Self-Love Anyway?"— packed with fun, engaging spiritual and personal growth practices—and his dynamic Mid-Life Love Mastery mentorship program, which inspires hundreds of people daily around the world.

Ever felt like invisible walls are blocking your path to love? It's very common to feel frustrated when dating these days which is why I decided to interview relationship reinvention coach Sanaiyah Gurnaml, who specializes in uncovering and healing what she calls 'love blocks'—those sneaky barriers that keep you from finding and keeping your soulmate.

In our interview, Sanaiyah shares simple ways to spot these blocks, understand their impact, and knock them down, so you can stop sabotaging your love life and start building a successful path to your happily ever after. Tune in and learn how to clear the way to true love!

Here's what we cover in our interview:

1. What exactly are 'love blocks' and how do they show up in relationships?

2. Why do love blocks get created in the first place?

3. What signs might suggest someone has love blocks?

4. How do love blocks affect our search for a soulmate?

5. What should someone do first after they find out they have love blocks?

7. What are quick tips for someone to start clearing their love blocks right away?

You can take Sanaiyah's quiz to find and start clearing your love blocks: https://www.sanaiyahgurnamal.com/love-blocks-quiz

Once you take the quiz, if you're interested in working with Sanaiyah, you can book a 20 minute call with her here: https://calendly.com/sanaiyahgurnamal/manifest-love

More about Snaiyah Gurnaml:

Sanaiyah is a love and relationship coach dedicated to empowering women to attract their soulmates, reboot their existing relationships, and unlock the power of self-love. 

Her signature program, Soulmate Magnet, helps women struggling with love to stop chasing it and start attracting it, so they can finally go from ‘single’ to ‘in a relationship’—for life. 

She believes the most important relationship is the one you have with yourself, and by focusing on inner work, everything else falls into place.

As the charismatic host of the Project Loving Myself podcast—a Spotify Top 50 and #1 Trending podcast—Sanaiyah invites listeners to a world where self-love is more than a buzzword; it’s about becoming your top priority, biggest fan, and loudest cheerleader. She’s regularly featured by top-tier organizations such as CNN, Cosmopolitan, Tatler, and Entrepreneurs Organization (EO).

There's often a fear that strong, assertive women might intimidate men, especially when we're used to being in control. How can women embrace both their strength and femininity actually to enhance your allure and attract the right kind of man for you?

Those are exactly the kinds of questions that Dating and Love Coach Kate Houston tackles in her coaching so I knew I needed to bring her onto the Soul-Shaking Love podcast. She knows women feel frustrated and fed up with dating and that deep down they want to feel vibrant, fun and free in love. So I decided to pick her brain on how she does it!

Here is what we cover in our interview:

-How recalibrating one's 'man picker' helps women avoid the dating and relationship roller coaster and stop doubting their choices/stop settling.

-What does being a 'Gold Standard Woman' mean, and how does this concept empower women to attract and keep real love with a real man?

-How can embracing both strength and femininity actually enhance a woman's allure and attract the right kind of partner?

-What DO women have control over that Kate sees most women not tapping into?

-What is Your Bold Love Archetype and how can you use it to attract a high-value man?

Kate's Free Gift: What is Your Bold Love Archetype? https://katehoustoncoaching.aweb.page/p/3cd0a36c-5d40-4a83-a4de-2d890d07e97c

Take the quiz, attract real bold love. Voilà— you’ll unlock your specific Bold Love Archetype, your personal love persona. You'll get custom journal prompts too, ready to steer you through a game-changing journey that's all about upping your dating and love life, tailored just for you.

More about Kate Houston:

Kate Houston supports women who are successful in business yet anxious in love to slay the love barriers keeping them single so they may experience a lifetime of real love and intimacy with an amazing man and create the relationship of their dreams with grounded,  unshakeable clarity. 

Kate knows women feel frustrated and fed up with dating and that deep down they want to feel vibrant, fun and free in love. They just don't know how to get there. That's where Kate comes in! With her sense of joy and ease, Kate helps women reignite the FUN in dating while showing them the effective techniques so they attract their amazing man.

Teaching women how to have courageous conversations with themselves and then their partner to create freedom and intimacy for a lifetime is what Kate does. Helping powerhouse women feel empowered and also alluring to create the deeply loving partnership they've always dreamed of is what Kate does.

I hear from so many smart, successful women that the men they meet are not as ambitious, smart, or successful as they are. Do you have to settle or is there a better way?

Fortunately, Dr. Diana Kirschner has cracked the code and has discovered four must-know keys for successful women who want to find a top-tier guy. She has helped tens of thousands of women of all ages to find high-caliber men to date and to create passionate soulmate love.

When I heard this, I knew I had to bring her back onto the Soul-Shaking Love Podcast to illuminate the path for you!

Here's what Dr. Diana reveals during our interview:

How has your coaching team actually helped women to find and marry high-caliber guys, like doctors, CEOs or  millionaires?

What are the steps in finding an accomplished man to date?

Do you have to be some kind of gorgeous, young thing to be in a high-level relationship with an accomplished man? [Spoiler: of course not! But she reveals what skills you do need to have...]

You can get Dr. Diana's free gift here: Find Your TOP-TIER Mr. Right Today  ZERO COST Coaching Session!  PBS Love Expert and Bestselling Author Dr. Diana Kirschner will personally match you with a handpicked coach for a life-changing GIFT session !  Click here https://lovein90days.com/find-mr-right-today/ Simply fill out the form and Say “Valerie sent me” for VIP treatment! 

Here's the link to our last interview: The Single Most Important Thing You Can Do to Create Lasting Passionate Love: https://youtu.be/4Aqx5VDcPlE

More about Dr. Diana Kirschner

Psychologist Dr. Diana Kirschner appeared on Oprah and stars in an Amazon Prime show, Love in 90 Days: Finding Your Own True Love.  Her smash bestseller is Love in 90 Days. Through her acclaimed coaching team, Dr. Diana has helped tens of thousands of women of all ages to find high-caliber men to date and to create passionate soulmate love. Dr. Diana’s website, www.Lovein90Days.com is an acclaimed source of empowerment, dating and relationship advice.

Dating can be challenging enough without worrying if you're being love bombed, only to feel betrayed later. We’re not looking to diagnose anyone; but I've seen too many people get won over and then once they're attached, they realize that the other person lacks empathy and integrity. How can we identify these qualities in the beginning? 

In the latest episode of The Soul-Shaking Love Podcast, I brought back intuitive healer Mary Jo Cranmore to talk about how to identify a narcissist.

Mary Jo used to attract Narcissists and as a result of her inner work, was able to identify and let go of narcissistic partners and patterns and learn how to identify the patterns that narcissists display so that she stopped getting stuck in toxic relationships herself. And now she loves teaching those skills to other people.  

Here's what you'll learn in our interview:

What kind of behavior does a narcissist display on the first few dates vs. later on? 

What might be the impact on you to be in a relationship with someone on the narcissistic spectrum? 

How can you access your intuition when interacting with them makes you doubt yourself? 

Questions to ask to tell if someone might be a narc and how would they answer if they were? 

Is it always a dealbreaker or is there a way to tell if they're willing to grow and change to have more self-awareness? 

If you're dating a narcissist, how to exit without them getting manipulative? 

Why some people choose to stay with a Narc and find it difficult to leave? 

You can listen to our other interview about how to use intuition to attract your soulmate here: https://coachvaleriegreene.com/podcast/mary-jo/

More about Mary Jo Cranmore:

Mary Jo has a wealth of information on her monthly newsletter at soulfulrevolutiontv.com

Mary Jo Cranmore is an intuitive healer for more than 25 years who helps people understand and achieve their mission in this life. She has integrated many disciplines together into a coherent method of understanding deep-rooted patterns and truths that light up each seeker’s path forward. Her own journey of trial and error became a roadmap to success, once she pieced together her life purpose and awakened her heart. As a result of her inner work, was able to identify and let go of narcissistic partners and patterns and learn how to identify the patterns that narcissists display so that she stopped getting stuck in toxic relationships herself. And now she loves teaching those skills to other people. 

Anxious attachment can make navigating the modern dating landscape really challenging: how to tell if someone is attracted; how to read their signals if they run hot and cold; it's enough to turn anyone into an anxious mess. Fortunately, dating and relationship coach Claire Grigson specialises in supporting women to feel more secure as they navigate the dating world. Having navigated infidelity, divorce, and dating for the first time in her mid-thirties:  dating apps, situationships, amazing connections and everything in between, she understands the modern dating landscape and brings a wealth of personal experience, to support her coaching expertise.

Here's what we cover in our interview:

• What are the most common dating challenges that people run into if they have Anxious Attachment?

Claire's free gift: https://subscribepage.io/T49Lzr

'Glow Up Your Dating Bio' - how to creating a dating profile that stands out on the apps, and create more connections with people who are a great match for you!

More about Claire:

Claire Grigson is a dating and relationship coach, who specializes in supporting women to create their dream relationship, through building a rock solid self relationship first, allowing them to feel more secure, confident and empowered. Having navigated infidelity, divorce, and dating for the first time in her mid-thirties:  dating apps, situationships, amazing connections and everything in between, she understands the modern dating landscape, and brings a wealth of personal experience, to support her coaching expertise.

You've probably heard the adage that until you love yourself, you can't fully love someone else either. I don't believe that fully, especially if, because of childhood programming, we find it easier to love others. But if that's the case, we usually feel insecure because there's no guarantee that others will give back to us what we offer to them. So it's important that we learn to love ourselves so that we feel truly fulfilled.

But how do we learn to do this? In the latest episode of The Soul-Shaking Love Podcast, I interview Intimacy Coach Veronica Lynn Clark about how to cultivate inner intimacy; i.e. how to love and accept yourself fully. With nearly two decades in trauma recovery, addiction, and sexual healing, Veronica shares powerful insights and practical tools to help you reconnect with your inner essence, heal past wounds, and foster a deep sense of inner peace and fulfillment, which radiates out to connect with others.

Veronica's Free Gift: https://veronicalynnclark.com/inner-intimacy

As a special gift for our listeners, Veronica Lynn Clark is offering a free eBook on cultivating inner intimacy. This comprehensive guide includes powerful exercises, insightful reflections, and practical tools to help you embark on your journey of self-love and self-acceptance. To receive your free eBook, simply message Veronica on Instagram with your email address, and she’ll send it directly to you. This gift is Veronica’s way of supporting you in unlocking your true potential and creating a deeply fulfilling relationship with yourself.

More about Veronica Lynn Clark:

Veronica Lynn Clark is a Life Reinvention Strategist and Intimacy Coach. With nearly two decades in trauma recovery, addiction, and sexual healing, Veronica merges mind intricacies with body wisdom. She’s the author of "To Be Aligned" and “S.E.X. Boss: A Guide to Embracing Your Sexual Energy for Self Mastery and Personal Empowerment." Veronica is a sought-after keynote speaker and guiding light helping people around the globe to illuminate their own path to self-discovery and empowerment.

Secure attachment is a buzz word in the relationship coaching world, but how do we create it? Why do some relationships fizzle out while others last a lifetime? 

In the latest episode of the SSLP Podcast, I interview transformational relationship mentor Dr. Gary Salyer. For the last decade, Dr. Salyer has helped singles and couples release old pain and learn the skills to create secure love. He explains that it's about learning how to slow down and attune to each other emotionally, not just jump into problem-solving before you feel like you're on the same team. 

In our in-depth interview, Gary shares:

What are the feelings that any couple must make sure they experience with each other to make their love last?

What builds or destroys trust?

What is the importance of noticing the 'six second moments' in a relationship?

Why feelings need to be addressed before issues can be solved

What does it mean to be a safe haven for each other?

What's a “we-omiter” and why is that important if you want your love last?

Here's Gary's Free Gift: What if you could ask some of the world’s leading experts how to find lasting love? Dr. Gary Salyer, author of Safe to Love Again: How to Release the Pain of Past Relationships and Create the Love You Deserve - shares the teachings of the best of the best including his own groundbreaking work - to help you find the love you deserve. These four to five-minute videos will introduce you to ways to find a relationship and keep it.  And, if you are already coupled, you will learn ways to fall in love all over again with your partner.  Please go to https://garysalyer.com/loveguide to sign up for this life changing video series.

Gary also has an online course and a book. Here are the links for that:

Open For Love: An online course that helps you release the pain of the past and create healthy love: https://garysalyer.com/openforlove2024/

Safe to Love Again: How to Release the Pain of Past Relationships: Gary's ground-breaking book: https://amzn.to/3SyIW5m

More about Gary:

Dr. Gary Salyer is a transformational relationship mentor.  For the last decade, Dr. Salyer has been in private practice offering singles and couples heart-centered transformation so they can re-write the rules for love in their brains and create a love that lasts.  Dr. Gary is a featured expert on various celebrity TV and radio shows and is the author of the ground-breaking book, Safe to Love Again: How to Release the Pain of Past Relationships and Create the Love You Deserve.

If you're doing everything you know to do to attract love and still feeling unsatisfied, you might have blind spots that are unknowingly pushing away the love you want. In this eye-opening episode I interview Mayan Tran and Angus Scott, who are both a real-life couple and relationship experts/coaches that specialize in helping people remove these blind spots and attract fulfilling love.

In our interview, we explore the 3 areas where you might be sending out vibes that keep potential partners at a distance. We'll look at how these hidden signals can mess with your chances of finding true love. By the end of our chat, you'll feel uplifted, hopeful, and ready to make positive changes. Learn how to transform your energy and become a magnet for the right partner. Tune in to discover how to attract the love you deserve!

You can join Mayan and Angus's upcoming challenge here: https://www.angusandmayan.com/makespacechallenge?am_id=valerieg

More about

Mayan and Angus believe in Love... and helping people find it and thrive in it! While they use multiple modalities such as Neuro Linguistic Programming, Hypnosis, Mental and Emotional Release, and have expertise in Dr. Gottman's relationship research, Masculine/Feminine Dynamics and Attachment Styles, they start their work as experts in finding the Energetic Leaks that most people are unaware of, that are keeping them from the love they want. Their clients walk away being energetically cleared, having let go of their past traumatic experiences and limiting beliefs about love, with a clear vision of what they want in a relationship, and the confidence to attract healthy, fulfilling relationships with partners who have the qualities they are looking for.

Mayan and Angus use a number of modalities to  help people find love  and thrive in it And they start their work as experts in finding the Energetic Leaks that most people are unaware of, that are keeping them from the love they want. Their clients walk away being energetically cleared, having let go of their past traumatic experiences and limiting beliefs about love, with a clear vision of what they want in a relationship, and the confidence to attract healthy, fulfilling relationships with partners who have the qualities they are looking for.

If you’re feeling burnt out, taken advantage of, or if your relationship isn’t working for you, boundaries and overcoming people pleasing tendencies might be the first place to look. 

Saying "yes" can become a habit and an act of selflessness, but if the other person isn’t doing the same for you, it leads to burnout, resentment, and losing yourself. 

In my latest interview with Trauma-Informed Life Coach Diana Mikas, she likens boundaries to a bridge that upholds your self-worth without compromising connections. A bridge that ensures your space is respected, valued, and harmonious. She invites us to cultivate a culture where saying "no" becomes an affirmation of freedom while each "yes" is a deliberate choice toward fulfillment and authenticity. 

In our interview, we cover: 

Why is it important to create boundaries and how do you know you need them? 

What are examples of healthy boundaries vs. unhealthy ones?

How do you know when your boundaries have been crossed?

How can you create boundaries with the narcissists in your life?

Why are boundaries so important in romantic relationships?

What are some tips to create great boundaries in your romantic relationship?

Enjoy your copy of Diana’s new book – Good Boundaries: A Practical Guide for Setting Healthy Limits, With A Narcissist, With Your Family, With Your Friends and At Work

https://www.howtodoselove.com/goodboundariesgift163221

More about Diana: 

DIANA MIKAS is on a mission to change how we do love. For the better part of a decade, she has worked with women around the world to regain their emotional and energetic equilibrium and the love of their lives again. 

Her approach is holistic and multi-faceted as she brings in the wisdom of over 30 years of personal work, including her disciplines as an Identity Development Facilitator, Usui Shiki Ryoho Reiki Master-level practitioner, Registered Holistic Nutritionist, and several years of Life Coaching practice. Diana has been featured on various publications, podcasts and summits is the Author of the Self Love Mastery Series on Amazon and is host of the Higher Love podcast found on Apple podcasts, Spotify or your favorite platform. For more resources visit www.dianamikas.com.