Recruiting Conversations

Why Your Recruiting Conversations Aren't Working (And How to Fix Them)


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In this episode, I break down a powerful framework from Charles Duhigg's book Super Communicators and apply it directly to recruiting. The best recruiters don't lead with a sales pitch—they follow a natural flow of conversation: social, emotional, and decision-making. Understanding these three types of conversations will help you connect with recruits, build trust, and close more deals.

Episode Breakdown
  • [00:00] Introduction – Why communication is the #1 skill recruiting leaders need to master.

  • [01:00] The Three Types of Conversations – Social, emotional, and decision-making—why the right order matters in recruiting.

  • [02:30] Why Most Recruiters Get This Wrong – The mistake of jumping straight to the decision-making conversation and why it doesn't work.

  • [04:00] The Power of Social Connection – How relationship-building conversations create trust and open doors.

  • [05:00] Emotional Conversations in Recruiting – Using dream-based recruiting to tap into what recruits truly want for their future.

  • [06:30] Decision-Making Conversations at the Right Time – When and how to transition from emotional connection to discussing your opportunity.

  • [07:30] How to Pivot If a Recruit Pushes for a Decision Early – Setting conversational goals to ensure you're in the right type of discussion.

  • [08:30] Why Selling First Creates Resistance – How leading with recruiting instead of relationship-building can kill deals before they start.

  • [09:30] Final Thoughts & Book Recommendations – Why Super Communicators aligns with great recruiting strategy and how my book, How to Dominate Recruiting in a Digital World, connects with these principles.

Key Takeaways
  1. Conversations Have a Natural Flow – The best recruiters start with social connection, move to emotional connection, and only then have a decision-making conversation.

  2. Social Capital Comes First – Without trust and rapport, a recruit won't engage in deeper conversations.

  3. Dream-Based Recruiting Works – Helping recruits define their long-term vision builds emotional connection and influence.

  4. Selling Too Early Pushes Recruits Away – Leading with recruiting instead of relationship-building reduces engagement and lowers your success rate.

  5. Velocity Comes from Connection – Building the right type of conversations speeds up the recruiting process, rather than slowing it down.

If you want to recruit successfully, you must master the flow of conversation. Leading with connection instead of a sales pitch will change how recruits respond and dramatically improve your results. If you apply these principles, you'll create more trust, increase engagement, and close more hires.

Want to refine your Recruiting? Subscribe to my weekly email at 4crecruiting.com or schedule a coaching session at bookrichardnow.com. For more insights, check out my book How to Dominate Recruiting in a Digital World!

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Recruiting ConversationsBy Richard Milligan, Recruiting Coach

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