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This episode examines limerence not as a personality flaw or a trendy attachment term, but as a learned psychological strategy that begins in childhood. Rather than treating obsession as irrational, we explore how it develops as a way to survive inconsistent, misattuned, or emotionally absent parenting, and how that same strategy later shows up in adult relationships.
This phenomenon explains why so many of us become fixated on emotionally unavailable partners and why the end of even a short relationship (or even a situationship) can feel devastating in a way that doesn’t match the actual reality of the situation. It’s why obsession often gets mislabeled as “love” or “passion.” We look at how the mind uses fantasy and idealization to stabilize itself and why emotionally unavailable people reliably trigger these patterns.
What This Episode Covers
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By mollie adler4.8
499499 ratings
This episode examines limerence not as a personality flaw or a trendy attachment term, but as a learned psychological strategy that begins in childhood. Rather than treating obsession as irrational, we explore how it develops as a way to survive inconsistent, misattuned, or emotionally absent parenting, and how that same strategy later shows up in adult relationships.
This phenomenon explains why so many of us become fixated on emotionally unavailable partners and why the end of even a short relationship (or even a situationship) can feel devastating in a way that doesn’t match the actual reality of the situation. It’s why obsession often gets mislabeled as “love” or “passion.” We look at how the mind uses fantasy and idealization to stabilize itself and why emotionally unavailable people reliably trigger these patterns.
What This Episode Covers
UNLOCK BONUS EPISODES, VOICE NOTES & THE FULL ARCHIVE
Join the BFTB Patreon community and become a Premium Submarine, where you’ll unlock hundreds of hours of paywalled content I’ve been building since 2021.
⟁ Visit backfromtheborderline.com for free resources, updates, and everything else I offer.
⟁ Or go straight to patreon.com/backfromtheborderline to join now.
Once you’re in, you’ll get a private feed you can add to Spotify, Apple, or your favorite podcast app, so you can listen to every episode I’ve ever released, all in one place.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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