If you've ever ended the day completely wiped out and thought, "Why am I this tired? I didn't even do anything that big…" — hi. Same. And this episode is for you.

In Week 4 of our Best Lessons of the Year countdown, we're revisiting two of my favorite conversations because they speak to a very real modern experience: carrying a thousand invisible things… and then wondering why your nervous system feels like it's running a marathon in jeans.

First, we dip back into my Solo Cast on the invisible mental load — that constant background hum of remembering, planning, worrying, organizing, anticipating, and basically being the "tabs open in your brain" person.

Then, we revisit my conversation with Jordan Arogeti (co-founder of Support Now) to talk about Support Languages — a framework that helps us understand how we give support, how we receive it, how to read the room, and how to repair when we didn't show up the way we wish we had.

So if you're listening while wrapping gifts, doing dishes, working out, or hiding in the car for five minutes of peace… welcome. You're in the right place.

In this episode, you'll hear:

• Why the invisible mental load is exhausting even when your calendar "doesn't look that full"

• A tiny practice that helps an anxious brain actually tolerate stillness (yes, even for one minute)

• How your body often says "no" before your mouth does

• What Support Languages are (and why support isn't one-size-fits-all)

• The lost art of reading the room (and remembering you're not the main character in every chapter 😅)

• Why repair matters more than perfection when it comes to care and connection

A few key takeaways:

• Your emotions aren't a character flaw — they're information

• One-minute pauses can be a one-degree shift that changes everything over time

• The goal isn't "perfect support" — it's real support

• You're allowed to need help, ask for help, and receive help without earning it

Quotes you'll want to save:

• "You're not exhausted because you're weak. You're exhausted because you've been carrying a lot — often silently."

• "Tiny, imperfect support still counts. And you're allowed to receive it, too."

• "Your emotions are information — not proof you're failing."

*]:pointer-events-auto scroll-mt-[calc(var(--header-height)+min(200px,max(70px,20svh)))]" dir="auto" tabindex="-1" data-turn-id= "ccc9ce3d-15f9-426a-b056-90876d199eea" data-testid= "conversation-turn-236" data-scroll-anchor="false" data-turn= "assistant"> Full episode links:

• https://youtu.be/K7q_5wxH7J0

• https://youtu.be/qaWGCw1RE9E

A little extra support (because you deserve it):

• FREE guided meditation gift: https://danielleireland.com/free

• Bring more joy + ease into your kitchen with Sarah Kleinknecht: Sarah's Substack (includes a free 30-minute consultation with an annual subscription): https://sarahkleinknecht.substack.com

Connect with Danielle (and join the community):

• Website: https://danielleireland.com

• Podcast hub: https://danielleireland.com/podcast

• The Treasured Journal: https://danielleireland.com/journal

• Substack: https://danielleireland.substack.com

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dontcutyourownbangs/

• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/danielleireland.LCSW

• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dontcutyourownbangspod

Rate, Review, Subscribe

Like your favorite recipe or song, the best things in life are shared. If this episode soothed something in you, made you feel seen, or made you go "OH… that's what's happening," please rate, review, and subscribe. It truly helps grow our community and connects these conversations with people who need them — people just like you. 💛