Win Stupid Prizes

Santa Claus is looking for work. That's right, we've finally noticed that Jolly Old Saint Nick is only working 1 day a year, so we're going to find him some extra employment!

Jamie wants him to put on a show, Eddie thinks he'd make a good Mr Beast competitor, and Bear (for reasons we still don't understand) is sending children to Mars. All the while Judge Alex is just trying to keep us off the naughty list this year.

We explore sporting options including a referee and a WWE wrestler, look into the entertainment package with YouTube and strippergrams, and even consider loftier options such as Air Traffic Control and NASA. Or maybe Father Christmas should ignore all our advice and just settle down as a dog walker.

Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.hexagorgon.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Bluesky: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@hexagorgon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Ko-fi: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠hexagorgon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Credits:

Stars Align by The 126ers on the YouTube Audio Library

0:00 Why does Santa need a job?

2:03 Sports Judge/Referee

11:33 Professional Wrestler

17:42 YouTuber

24:56 A Rocket

31:10 Strippergram

37:47 Dog Walker

38:25 Air Traffic Controller

45:47 And the winner is...

After 2 Death Stars you'd think they'd give up. But we're back for a third, baby! Can our 3 "experts" figure out how to make Death Star 3 not bad this time?

Eddie created Palpatine's Party Planet, Paul rolls the Death Star downhill through hyperspace, and Alex puts the War Star back in Star Wars.

We consider the typical capitalist crap you'd expect from the Empire in the form of advertising, marketing, and even a corporate sponsorship. Though we also debate the "right idea, wrong execution" motif through changing the shape or weapon of the Killer Sphere. And then there's going all the way to Death Star 5 by adding the other 3 Horsemen of the Apocalypse to the line-up.

Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.hexagorgon.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Bluesky: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@hexagorgon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Credits:

Stars Align by The 126ers on the YouTube Audio Library

0:00 Somehow Palpatine returned.

1:34 Different shape

9:21 Better marketing

14:33 Use it for advertising

21:41 Power something else

29:55 Add the other 'Horsemen of the Apocalypse' Stars

35:20 Hyperspace Traffic Warden

38:14 And the winner is...

Solving mysteries ain't gonna pay the bills forever. At least that's what Fred keeps telling me, so we better find something else to do with The Mystery Gang (and their dumb dog).

Alex turns The Gang into gamers, Jamie misses an opportunity to patent Cotton Candy Dogs, and Eddie turns Scooby-Doo into the most corrupt judge ever seen. Meanwhile Judge Bear mostly just wants to see Fred in a swimsuit.

Whether it be maximising profit through streaming and health & safety audits, utilising their existing skills in food and entertainment, or figuring out how to make use of a talking dog; this episode really plumbs the depths of The Mystery Machine and the Doo Crew.

Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.hexagorgon.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Bluesky: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@hexagorgon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Ko-fi: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠hexagorgon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Credits:

Stars Align by The 126ers on the YouTube Audio Library

0:00 Why are The Mystery Gang looking for work?

2:22 Catering

9:07 Content Creation

16:59 Party Ruiners

25:22 Running a Funfair

35:49 Health & Safety Auditors

42:45 Use the Talking Dog

53:58 And the winner is...

The 1999 classic The Matrix seemed like a pretty good idea but they really fumbled it at the end. This leads to the obvious question: if you could do whatever you wanted with The Matrix, what would you do?

Jamie makes a killing, Eddie simulates a simulation, and Alex goes full Mr Beast, as Judge Paul watches all that he knows and loves dissolve into 1s and 0s around him. At least we aren't torturing anyone. Oh we might be?... Strike that from the record.

We could monetise The Matrix through educational speedruns with Matrix U, make the original Matrix better by adding stats, or create a hit new Netflix show The Matrix Games. Alternatively we could be more altruistic with The Matrix by using it for luxury holidays, or use it to solve unexplained mysteries, or for the betterment of humanity by simulating otherwise unethical experiments. Whatever we end up doing with The Matrix, know that there will definitely be no moral dilemmas as a result. Well, probably no ethical problems. OK, maybe one or two...

Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.hexagorgon.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Twitch: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠hexagorgonlive⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Bluesky: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@hexagorgon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Ko-fi: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠hexagorgon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Credits:

Stars Align by The 126ers on the YouTube Audio Library

0:00 Where did we even get a Matrix?

2:14 Matrix U (education)

9:02 Add stats (gamify it)

15:39 The Matrix Games (Netflix hit us up)

21:26 Luxury Holidays (anything, anywhere, anywhen)

27:08 Solve unexplained mysteries (self-explanatory)

33:39 Unethical experiments (but ethical this time?)

39:33 And the winner is...

Ah yes, the weird, wacky, and wonderful world of comic books, equally captivating and crazy - especially when it comes to the characters. We all know a good superhero when we see one, but what about a compelling villain?

Paul fuses with some plastic bath toys, Alex utilises the power of avocado toast, and Eddie commits the slowest crime of all. Meanwhile, Jamie's alter ego, The Judge, uses its powers to... well, just be very judgemental really.

Whether it's the tax evading Sloth, the clean-up crew Rubber Duck Man, the industry destroying Millennial, the ethical evaluator Trolly Problem Man, the omnipotent DM, or the bureaucratic Risk Assessor, we'd be happy to sell any of these ideas to any major comic book publisher.

Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.hexagorgon.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Twitch: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠hexagorgonlive⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Bluesky: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@hexagorgon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Ko-fi: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠hexagorgon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Credits:

Stars Align by The 126ers on the YouTube Audio Library

0:00 Why do we need a new comic book villain?

1:36 The Sloth

9:15 Rubber Duck Man

15:44 The Millennial

20:48 Trolley Problem Man

28:47 The DM

34:53 The Risk Assessor

44:26 And the winner is...

Mario is always hosting parties but the food is always cold and the dice always roll 1s. So we think it's about time someone else hosted a party - the only question is, who?

Eddie collects balls, Jamie finally snaps, and Alex definitely isn't talking about Kingdom Hearts again, all whilst Judge Paul can't wait for the party to end.

We're making wishes on Dragon balls, popping balloons in RuneScape, avoiding Zeus, and hoping not to get sued by Disney before Thanos snaps us in half. Just remember: the public domain is always fair use.

Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.hexagorgon.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Twitch: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠hexagorgonlive⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Bluesky: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@hexagorgon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Ko-fi: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠hexagorgon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Credits:

Stars Align by The 126ers on the YouTube Audio Library

0:00 What happened to Mario?

1:33 Goku Party

10:26 Thanos Party

18:36 Party Pete Party

25:29 Dionysus Party

33:20 Mickey Mouse Party

39:32 Public Domain Party

44:44 And the winner is...

History is full of crime-fighting animals! Scooby-Doo, Skippy the Bush Kangaroo, and Detective Chimp to name but a few. But this begs the obvious question, which animal would be the best at stopping crims in the real world?

Eddie takes the prompt literally, Jamie will be the one asking the questions, and Bear is just pretty sure Eddie's answers are bad. Meanwhile Alex has doubts that this question was worth asking in the first place.

We explore mythological lawyers, bomb defusers, aggressive arrestors, beat cops, undercover options, and even a show favourite in a question that raises more questions than it attempts to answer.

Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.hexagorgon.com⁠⁠⁠⁠

Twitch: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠hexagorgonlive⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠HexaGorgon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Bluesky: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@hexagorgon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Patreon: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Hexagorgon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Ko-fi: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠hexagorgon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Credits:

Stars Align by The 126ers on the YouTube Audio Library

0:00 Why does the police need animals?

1:33 Sphinx

8:17 Octopus

16:49 Kangaroo

23:31 Bugs

33:34 Giraffe

41:06 A toad with a sniper rifle

48:02 And the winner is...

Our good friend Peter Parker (who may or may not be Spiderman) needs a new job. Between his stressful boss, being underpaid by his boss, and his boss trying to replace him with AI, being J Jonah Jameson's photographer at the Daily Bugle just isn't cutting it. So what job should Peter Parker (or maybe Spiderman) do instead?

Eddie thinks Mr Parker should stick to what he's good at, Alex reckons Peter is missing a trick, and Jamie believes Spiderman should take on even more responsibility. Meanwhile Judge Bear just wanted to bonk Spiderman with a big hammer.

Should Peter stick to his journalistic routes or get into kids entertainment? Is Spider Sense better for defusing bombs or winning the lottery? Would he be more productive as IT support or superhero support? All this and more on the Peter Parker Employment Episode!

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Credits:

Stars Align by The 126ers on the YouTube Audio Library

0:00 Who is Peter Parker?

1:34 Superhero sidekick

10:48 Emergency services worker

18:43 Night shift worker

25:05 Journalist

30:55 Climbing instructor

39:34 Fortune teller

47:18 And the winner is...

To celebrate our 50th anniversary (ie. episode) Eddie has thrown together a special quiz for everyone! And by "special" he means ridiculous, impossible, and above all, stupid.

Filled with callbacks, running jokes, and references to a few things which are a little too real; consider this episode a helpful refresher for listeners new and old. Whether you want a whistle-stop tour of everying Win Stupid Prizes to date, or you just want to reminisce the old days, this episode was created for you. Yep, specifically for you, [listener name].

However long you've been listening, thanks for joining us for the big five-oh :)

Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.hexagorgon.com⁠⁠⁠

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Credits:

Stars Align by The 126ers on the YouTube Audio Library

00:00 No ordinary quiz show

03:22 How you doing?

05:00 How many children do I think I could beat in a fight?

06:16 What is the worst DnD stat to be your dump stat IRL?

08:21 Why would you be stuck on a desert island?

10:22 What would you yeet off a cliff to obtain the Soul Stone?

12:46 What does a hero truly need?

14:18 If you had all 7 Dragonballs, what would you wish for?

16:04 What would you do with a portal gun?

18:21 What would you like to be the boss of?

20:38 Is this statement false?

22:46 Where's Wally?

24:32 Where am I?

25:51 What would be TOO FAR for Pokémon?

27:43 Which fictional character would make the best DJ?

29:36 Which letter of the alphabet would win in a fight?

32:19 Which gaming franchise needs a racing spin-off?

35:04 What Chance card would you include in Hexagorgon Monopoly?

37:59 What would've been a more badass thing to say in Endgame than "Avengers, assemble"?

40:11 What virtues form the Win Stupid Priforce?

42:24 What is the prize for this episode?

44:54 And the winner is...

Welcome to Win Stupid Prizes, the comedy/pop-culture podcast where we ask the questions that nobody thought were worth asking and win some... unique prizes along the way!

If you've ever wondered which D&D class would MIN-MAX your life, or how 4 regular humans could stop Thanos, or even how would you bust ghosts; then this is the podcast for you!

More details at: www.hexagorgon.com/series/win-stupid-prizes/

Credits: Stars Align by The 126ers on the YouTube Audio Library