Writing Your Resilience: Building Resilience, Embracing Trauma and Healing Through Writing

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What would you do if an experience you’d long dreamed of was not only not what it’s cracked up to be, but at times miserable? Would you own up to the challenges or pretend it’s as great as you imagined  Join me and Megan Williams, author of One Bad Mother as we explore the challenges of being vulnerable on the page, the realities of modern motherhood no one wants to talk about, and a key book-launch lesson every author needs to know. 

Resources Mentioned During This Episode: 

• Mom Rage by Minna Dubin
• Ordinary Insanity by Sarah Menkendrick

Episode Highlights

• 2:00 The Challenge of Being Vulnerable on the Page
• 6:00 Protecting Yourself from Friendly Fire
• 8:30 Structuring Around a Theme
• 15:33 The Challenges of Modern Motherhood
• 23:39 Book Launch Tips
• 26:00 Megan’s Writing Tip

Megan’s Bio: Megan Williams is the author of One Bad Mother: A Woman’s Search for Meaning in Motherhood and the Police Academy. After graduating from Haverford College, Megan received her Ph.D. in English from Temple University and taught at Lafayette College and Santa Clara University. She has moved across the country—never landing in the middle—three times in twenty years. She now lives in the Pacific Northwest with her husband, who runs Blue Dog Bakery and keeps their teenage twins, rescued cat, horse, and mastiffs full of treats.

Connect with Megan: 

• Website: meganwilliamsauthor.com
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1347114175&mibextid=ZbWKwL
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ottoisking
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/megan-williams-6585844a/
• TikTok: @Onebadmother
• One Bad Mother: A Mother's Search for Meaning in the Police Academy a book by Megan Williams (bookshop.org)

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If you have a complicated relationship with someone, how do you write about them? Should you craft a linear memoir that reads more like a journey or write something that mirrors your experience? Join me and Lara Lillibridge, author of Girlish, Mama, Mama, Only Mama, and The Truth of Unringing Phones, as we explore the impact of estrangement on the memoir writing process, how to protect your heart as you write about painful experiences, the power of publishing your story, as well as the a-ha Lara had about which part of the writing process actually heals you.

Lara’s Bio: Lara Lillibridge (she/they) is the author of The Truth About Unringing Phones: Essays on Yearning; Mama, Mama, Only Mama: An Irreverent Guide for the Newly Single Parent, and Girlish: Growing Up in a Lesbian Home,. Lara is a Creative Nonfiction Editor for HeartWood Literary Magazine. She holds an MFA from West Virginia Wesleyan College and is a mentor for AWP’s Writer to Writer.

In this episode: 

• When can non-linear storytelling play a role in writing about fragmented relationships?
• Advice for balancing dark and light moments in memoir writing to present a full picture of the relationship.
• The importance of audience connection and feedback as a source of resilience during the book launch period.
• The healing power of revision.
• Tips for organizing and structuring non-linear memoirs.

Resources Mentioned During This Episode:

The True Meaning of Success with Courtney Maum

Where Rivers Part: A Story of My Mother’s Life by Kao Kalia Yang

New York Times article on Consent by Jill Ciment

Episode Highlights

• 1:00 COVID’s Impact on Our Creativity
• 3:15 Structuring an Estrangement Story
• 8:45 Crafting a Nonlinear Memoir
• 15:00 Protecting Your Heart as You Write
• How Estrangement Impacts Us
• 24:00 The Healing Power of Publishing Your Story
• 30:23 Lara’s Best Writing Advice

Connect with Lara

Website: http://laralillibridge.com/

Twitter: https://x.com/Only_Mama

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lara.lillibridge

Instagram/Threads: https://www.instagram.com/LaraLillibridge

Visit https://lisacooperellison.com/yourdesign/ and use promo code RESILIENCE to get 30% off your foundational report.

Visit https://lisacooperellison.com/yourdesign/ and use promo code RESILIENCE to get 30% off your foundational report.

Building Better Memoir Scenes: https://janefriedman.com/building-better-memoir-scenes-with-lisa-cooper-ellison/

Connect with your host, Lisa:
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Writing can be a powerful tool for healing, but when writing the tough stuff, it’s easy to get triggered and relive the experiences you’re writing about. If you’re wondering what to do about this, join me and somatic experiencing practitioner Kirby Moore as we explore how the nervous system works and how to care for it and your writing life. Plus Kirby will teach you a powerful tool you can use right now to calm your nervous system. While you can listen to this on any platform, if you’re a visual learner, this is a great episode to watch on YouTube. Now, let’s get to my conversation with Kirby Moore.

Kirby’s bio: Kirby brings a unique and potent blend of modalities to his healing facilitation sessions. He has been very fortunate to study with some masterful SE faculty members, with Tibetan Buddhist heart teachers, and one of the pioneers in the field of Birth Process Work. All this training, plus 20 years as a practicing Astrologer, means that Kirby offers exceptional somatic process work – both in-person and online.

In 2019, Kirby developed Trauma Informed Astrology, which is a very ambitious blend of Western Astrology, nervous system repair and theory, and embodiment tools. He loves offering courses, mentoring students, and offering clients rare insights into their process.

Resources Mentioned During This Episode:

Kirby’s Course: Liberating the Space Element

Use the Code Podcast30 to save 30% off this course

Souls of the Feet Meditation

Heart Coherence Meditation

Dr. Kay Tye: The Biology of Social Interactions and Emotions

Episode Highlights

• 2:00 Biodynamic Cranial Sacral Therapy
• 4:00 What is Somatic Experiencing
• 8:00 Healthy and Unhealthy Checking Out
• 12:00 The Consequences of Dissociation
• 15:00 Reciprocals: A Powerful Somatic Tool
• 26:00 Why Meditation Can Harm Trauma Survivors
• 30:00 Dealing with Writing Triggers
• 38:00 Somatic Advice on Writing

Connect with Kirby

Website: www.traumainformedastrology.com

Website: www.mkirbymoore.com

Website: https://astrodharma.me

Instagram: @traumainformedastrology

Email: [email protected]

Visit https://lisacooperellison.com/yourdesign/ and use promo code RESILIENCE to get 30% off your foundational report.

Visit https://lisacooperellison.com/yourdesign/ and use promo code RESILIENCE to get 30% off your foundational report.

Building Better Memoir Scenes: https://janefriedman.com/building-better-memoir-scenes-with-lisa-cooper-ellison/

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Like it or not, our family history shapes who we are. What if lost portions of your history are holding you back? What lengths would you go to recover this history, understand it, and then turn your discoveries into a memoir? Join me and author of the memoir Starry Field, Margaret Juhae Lee, as we explore the impacts of intergenerational trauma on our identity, the challenges of writing a researched memoir, staying motivated over the long haul, and the problem of getting an agent too soon.

Margaret’s Bio: Margaret Juhae Lee is an Oakland-based writer and a former literary editor of The Nation magazine. She has been the recipient of a Bunting Fellowship from Harvard University and a Korean Studies Fellowship from the Korean Foundation. She is also a Tin House alum and has been awarded residencies at the Mesa Refuge, Anderson Center, and Mineral School. In 2020, she was named “Person of the Year” by the Sangcheol Cultural Welfare Foundation in Kongju, South Korea, for her work in honoring her grandfather, Patriot Lee Chul Ha. Her articles, reviews, and interviews have been published in The Nation, Newsday, Elle, ARTnews, The Advocate, The Rumpus and Writer's Digest.

In this episode: 

• How to navigate the challenges of writing a memoir that spans multiple generations and historical events.
• The importance of structure in memoir writing and how to achieve it.
• The emotional impact of sharing family stories and intergenerational trauma.
• Practical advice for balancing journalism and narrative memoir writing.

Resources Mentioned During This Episode:

• Starry Field with Margaret Juhae Lee and Grace M. Cho Interview for the Korea Society

Episode Highlights

4:00 Why Explore the Past?

7:00 The Impact of Intergenerational Trauma

9:00 The Role of Stories in Identity Formation

15:00 Maintaining Your Momentum Over the Long Haul

20:00 Getting an Agent Too Soon

22:00 Structuring a Researched Memoir

26:00 The Miracle of the Memoir Process

29:00 Turning Yourself into a Character

35:00 Understanding Situation versus Story

Connect with Margaret: 

Website: www.margaretjuhaelee.com

Instagram: @mjuhae

Twitter: @margaretjuhae

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/margaret-juhae-lee-2b95905/

Visit https://lisacooperellison.com/yourdesign/ and use promo code RESILIENCE to get 30% off your foundational report.

Visit https://lisacooperellison.com/yourdesign/ and use promo code RESILIENCE to get 30% off your foundational report.

Building Better Memoir Scenes: https://janefriedman.com/building-better-memoir-scenes-with-lisa-cooper-ellison/

Connect with your host, Lisa:
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What does it take to become a professional writer with a published book? More importantly, what does it take to become a happy writer? Join multi-genre writer and book coach Courtney Maum and me as we discuss writer mental health, the key ingredients in an author brand, what success really means and how you can achieve it, as well as the number one skill all authors need to cultivate.  

Courtney’s Bio: Courtney is the author of five books, including the groundbreaking publishing guide that Vanity Fair recently named one of the ten best books for writers, BEFORE AND AFTER THE BOOK DEAL and the memoir THE YEAR OF THE HORSES, chosen by The Today Show as the best read for mental health awareness. A writing coach, director of the writing workshop “Turning Points,” and educator, Courtney's mission is to help people hold on to the joy of art-making in a culture obsessed with turning artists into brands. Passionate about literary citizenship, Courtney sits on the advisory councils of The Authors Guild and The Rumpus and runs a bestselling Substack on publishing conundrums. You can sign up for her weekly newsletter and online masterclasses at CourtneyMaum.com

In this episode: 

• 3:00 The Importance of Protecting Your Mental Health
• 6:45 The True Measure of Success
• 15:00 Understanding Your Yeses and Nos
• 19:50 Building Brand Assets for Your Author Platform
• 28:50 Navigating the Realities of the Publishing Industry
• 42:00 The Impact of Health Challenges on Our Identity
• 60:00 Having Faith in Yourself

Resources Mentioned During This Episode: 

Making Art Inside Delicious Darkness 

Last Night an ENT Saved My Life

Exploring the Loneliness Epidemic with Athena Dixon

How to Stop Gaslighting Yourself with Ingrid Clayton

Official Transcript

Connect with Courtney: 

Website: courtneymaum.com

Substack:https://substack.com/@courtneymaum

Instagram: @cbmaum

Visit https://lisacooperellison.com/yourdesign/ and use promo code RESILIENCE to get 30% off your foundational report.

Visit https://lisacooperellison.com/yourdesign/ and use promo code RESILIENCE to get 30% off your foundational report.

Building Better Memoir Scenes: https://janefriedman.com/building-better-memoir-scenes-with-lisa-cooper-ellison/

Connect with your host, Lisa:
Get Your Free Copy of Ditch Your Inner Critic: https://lisacooperellison.com/subscribe/
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Have you ever worked on a tough story only to hear a voice in your head say maybe you’re not good enough, or maybe this isn't the project for you? How do you know if it’s self-sabotage or a wise part of you that’s trying to get your attention? Join professional writer Donna Moriarty and me as we discuss these voices and how to tell the difference between sabotage and support—especially when one voice is telling you to slow down or stop.  

Resources Mentioned in This Episode

Grampy’s Coat by Donna Moriarty

Not Just Words: How a Good Apology Makes You Braver, Bolder, and Better at Life

Dear Especially After Breaking: What If You Decide with the Full Force of Your Own Formidable Wisdom by Jeannine Ouellette 

How Recovery Supports Memoir Writing and Book Marketing Tips with Laura Cathcart Robbins

How to Stop Gaslighting Yourself with Ingrid Clayton, Ph.D

Episode Highlights

2:50 The Impact of Scene Writing on the Brain

3:35 The Voices Writers Wrestle With

10:30 Why Marketing Memoir is Hard  

13:27 The Publication Fallacy Writers Buy Into

16:25 The Problem with Staying Small

19:00 Protecting the Magic of Your Most Precious Stories

23:42 Donna’s Best Writing Advice

Donna’s bio: Donna Moriarty is a lifelong writer and editor. Her work has been featured in The New York Times, The Keepthings, Ms., San Francisco, and others. She’s the author of Not Just Words: How a Good Apology Makes You Braver, Bolder, and Better at Life. Donna is currently working on a memoir. She and her husband live in Ossining, N.Y., where they raised three wonderful children and a succession of dachshunds.

Connect with Donna: 

Website: www.donnamoriarty.com

Writing Website: www.silversmithwriting.com

Instagram: @image.and.likeness 

Email: [email protected]

Visit https://lisacooperellison.com/yourdesign/ and use promo code RESILIENCE to get 30% off your foundational report.

Visit https://lisacooperellison.com/yourdesign/ and use promo code RESILIENCE to get 30% off your foundational report.

Building Better Memoir Scenes: https://janefriedman.com/building-better-memoir-scenes-with-lisa-cooper-ellison/

Connect with your host, Lisa:
Get Your Free Copy of Ditch Your Inner Critic: https://lisacooperellison.com/subscribe/
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TW: Mention of Sexual Assault

In this episode, you’ll hear from Deborah Svec-Carstens, a writer working on a memoir that details her journey of healing after trauma.

In this episode:

• Writing about trauma and recounting hard memories.
• Three reasons why we struggle to write about feelings 
• The impact trauma has on our memories and emotions 
• Writing speculative scenes 
• Writing around your toughest experiences 
• The benefit of studying other writers 

Resources

Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience by Brené Brown

Hunger by Roxanne Gay

Acetylene Torch Songs: Writing True Stories to Ignite the Soul by Sue William Silverman

After the Eclipse by Sarah Perry

My Interview with Sarah Perry

A Hard Silence by Melanie Brooks

My Interview with Melanie Brooks

Playing with Dynamite by Sharon Harrigan

Deborah’s Bio: Deborah Svec-Carstens is a writer, spiritual director, and “recovering” lawyer who has written a memoir about her search for healing after a stranger sexually assaulted her in Paris. Her writing has appeared in the Des Moines Register and has been named a finalist in essay contests. In February 2024, she appeared before more than 1,200 people as part of The Des Moines Storytellers Project and told her story of creating community in the aftermath of rape. Deborah lives in West Des Moines, Iowa. She enjoys reading (especially at the beach), hiking, and singing soprano in a local community choir.

Connect with Deborah

Website: https://www.deborahsveccarstens.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/deborah.sveccarstens

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/deborah.sveccarstens/

Visit https://lisacooperellison.com/yourdesign/ and use promo code RESILIENCE to get 30% off your foundational report.

Visit https://lisacooperellison.com/yourdesign/ and use promo code RESILIENCE to get 30% off your foundational report.

Building Better Memoir Scenes: https://janefriedman.com/building-better-memoir-scenes-with-lisa-cooper-ellison/

Connect with your host, Lisa:
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This week, you'll hear from Laila Rall, a writer working on a memoir about her chaotic, bicultural childhood with an unstable mother. We will explore two of the biggest challenges writers of coming-of-age memories grapple with: when does my story really begin and how do I gracefully insert my wisdom into scenes that involve very young narrators?

Episode Highlights

• 2:25 Exploring the Scope of Your Book
• 3:15 Feedback on the Childhood Voice
• 5:43 Are You Starting in the Right Place
• 7:15 The Importance of Beat Sheets
• 18:15 Maintaining the Mystery

Resources Mentioned During This Episode

• Suzette Mullen Interview
• The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls
• This Boy’s Life by Tobias Wolff
• Autobiography of a Face by Lucy Grealy
• The Liar’s Club by Mary Karr

Laila’s Bio: Laila found her most meaningful work as a teacher after pursuing a B.A. in English and an M.A. in Education from UC Berkeley. She’s currently writing a memoir about her chaotic, bicultural childhood that included a murder trial, misattributed paternity, an outing to exhume a dead relative, transatlantic smuggling, and a life-changing promise to a pig. She lives in Santa Cruz, California, and loves cave diving, close encounters with sharks, and dark espresso.

Connect with Laila

• Substack: https://lailacoryrall.substack.com

Visit https://lisacooperellison.com/yourdesign/ and use promo code RESILIENCE to get 30% off your foundational report.

Visit https://lisacooperellison.com/yourdesign/ and use promo code RESILIENCE to get 30% off your foundational report.

Building Better Memoir Scenes: https://janefriedman.com/building-better-memoir-scenes-with-lisa-cooper-ellison/

Connect with your host, Lisa:
Get Your Free Copy of Ditch Your Inner Critic: https://lisacooperellison.com/subscribe/
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This week, you will hear from Laurie Riedman, a memoirist who wrote Diamonds in the Dirt: Stories from a Junkyard Girl, a collection of short pieces that mirror the fractured memories she built while growing up in a world filled with discarded car parts. During our conversation we talk about how to deal with the voice in your head that says what you’re writing isn’t true, and how trauma survivors can care for themselves while navigating the publishing process. 

Laurie’s Bio: Laurie Riedman is a personal and relationship coach, writer, and storyteller. After thirty-five years running her PR and marketing firm, she transitioned to coaching, founding b.u. coaching to support those—like her—who seek to embrace their truth and be their best selves in all aspects of their personal and professional lives. She publishes essays on her blog, More Than Words, and recently published her memoir Diamonds in the Dirt: Stories from a Junkyard Girl. She also co-edited Badass Sisterhood and Soul Shine (forthcoming) with Susan Walter. 

Resources Mentioned During This Episode:

The Liar’s Club by Mary Karr

Episode Highlights

1:58 Staying True to Your Vision

5:34 Quieting the Voice of Doubt

7:40 The Internal Struggles We Face

10:00 Dealing with People’s Responses

12:00 Owning Your Truth

17:58 Publishing’s Impact on Trauma Survivors

23:19 The Sandpaper Draft

Connect with Laurie

Website: www.laurieriedman.com

More Than Words blog: https://laurieriedman.substack.com/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/coachingbu

Visit https://lisacooperellison.com/yourdesign/ and use promo code RESILIENCE to get 30% off your foundational report.

Visit https://lisacooperellison.com/yourdesign/ and use promo code RESILIENCE to get 30% off your foundational report.

Building Better Memoir Scenes: https://janefriedman.com/building-better-memoir-scenes-with-lisa-cooper-ellison/

Connect with your host, Lisa:
Get Your Free Copy of Ditch Your Inner Critic: https://lisacooperellison.com/subscribe/
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This week, you'll hear from Amanda Creasey, an outdoors writer and novelist, as we explore  the age-old existential question: does what we are working on matter? In this episode, you will hear Amanda vulnerably share the frustration and discouragement many writers face when working on long-term projects and publishing their work. We’ll examine the drivers that keep us going, the truth about how many books authors typically sell, and how to show up for yourself as you write. 

Amanda’s Bio: Amanda is an English teacher, outdoors writer, and novelist with an undergraduate degree from Michigan State University and a graduate degree from the University of Denver. Her writing appears in three Chicken Soup for the Soul books. Her poetry and outdoor journalism have earned recognition from the Poetry Society of Virginia and Virginia Outdoor Writers Association. Her debut novel, An Expected End, is a work of speculative fiction that was published in October 2023.. A member of James River Writers, the Poetry Society of Virginia, and Virginia Outdoor Writers Association, she shares a home with her husband, their rescue parrot, and their two rescue dogs.

Resources Mentioned in This Episode

Athena Dixon Episode

James River Writers 

Official Transcript

Episode Highlights

2:13 Why Does Your Story Matter

4:44 How Many Books to Authors Typically Sell

8:41 What’s Your Story’s Essential Question

11:16 How Does Writing Impact Your Life

14:30 Making Room For Joy

18:00 The Power of Community 

22:22 Amanda’s writing advice 

Connect with Amanda: 

Website: AmandaSueCreasey.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amanda_sue_creasey

Substack: https://amandasuecreasey.substack.com/

Visit https://lisacooperellison.com/yourdesign/ and use promo code RESILIENCE to get 30% off your foundational report.

Visit https://lisacooperellison.com/yourdesign/ and use promo code RESILIENCE to get 30% off your foundational report.

Building Better Memoir Scenes: https://janefriedman.com/building-better-memoir-scenes-with-lisa-cooper-ellison/

Connect with your host, Lisa:
Get Your Free Copy of Ditch Your Inner Critic: https://lisacooperellison.com/subscribe/
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Produced by Espresso Podcast Production