You Guys are No Fun

Before this whole thing gets going, we’re going to start off by making Dirk apologize to everyone for not understanding how the audio equipment and stopping the episode cold.  Dirk, apologize.

Dirk: “I’m sorry”

With that out of the way, we’ll be reminding him of this until the end of time and you, the listener (or the viewer on the YouTubes), will never have to deal with his nonsense again; we turned off his monitor.

While we never intended to have relevant information to talk about, we happened to stumble upon it when we chose to play and talk about FEZ.  Now, bear in mind, because we selected FEZ a while ago and pay no attention to everything, we never intended our conversation about FEZ to include #GamerGate.  We really wanted to focus on the game, which we eventually did and only mildly rag on Phil Fish, he wound up running his mouth on Twitter and had his site hacked and that unleashed a whole mess of information onto the world.  We make a run through as much as we could about all of the nonsense that surrounds Phil Fish, #GamerGate and the hacking, but this really is not something that we talk about regularly, so we really want people to focus on the game.

And what a great game FEZ is.  The protagonist is one of the cutest, most likable characters that bounds through a 2D world that can be rotated.  This formula actually makes for GREAT game play, great puzzles and an all-around enjoyable experience.  Rian and Chester took the time to actually dig into this game and have nothing but great things to say about the game.  Dirk, however, stopped playing it because he stumbled onto the #GamerGate info.  Rian and Chester even have a couple organic conversations about locations that they have been to and how to get there with each other.  Bottom line is, FEZ is a great game that should be played.  If you really want to chime in on any part of the the episode, there are a couple topics that we would love to hear from you about, so use and abuse that comment section.

We also want to thank our most recent donations that we have received for our Extra Life fundraising campaign; Kayla, Brad, Marie and Paul, thank you so much for your donations.  In retrospect, we should be the last people you hear talk about ethics, but you get a whole lot of it here, so sit back and enjoy Episode 32 of the Casual Cowards of Gaming.

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There are few games that are as straight forward in their title as Shoot Many Robots.  You jump in and you shoot many robots.  As a matter of fact, whether they are big or small, you shoot all of the robots.  If you like Contra, Borderlands or Metal Slug, you will love this game.  It’s a four player, co-op, side scrolling shooter that promotes all sorts of teaming up with friends or randoms to blast endless waves of robots.  There are endless power ups, great weapons, and a super duper helmet called the Fruit Fucker 2000 (thank you Penny Arcade).  We actually love this game so much that we’re going to throw it into our 24 hour gaming marathon that we’re doing with Extra Life on October 25.  You have the opportunity to jump in with us and play an hour or so if you jump over there and donate at least 10 dollars. Make sure you comment either on our Facebook or Twitter to let us know what you want to play.  We’d also like to thank everyone who has donated to our little fundraising venture so far.

As an afterthought of the whole game, Todd likes to drink boxed wine poorly and play this game.  If you feel yourself wondering where were are going throughout the episode, stick around for the boy pussy towards the end and all will be well.  We hope that you put pants on for the Pointcast because you’re going to need them.  Get ready for the onslaught of nonsense and robots and enjoy Pointcast 31.1 of the Casual Cowards of Gaming

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Well, much like you hurt the ones you love, we failed to encapsulate all of what this game is and what makes it awesome.  However, Borderlands 2 is a game that everyone, EVERYONE, should play because there are soooooooo many aspects of this game that set it apart from all of the other shooters out there.  Do you want a game were you will never find the same weapon twice and that has an awesome and unique cast of characters AND has one of the most humorous and well timed scrips written, then you need to play this game.  What other game out there can you find the time to summon characters named after the Ninja Turtles and then shoot a midget in his face mask, turning him into a hulking mega midget that flies into a rage that could end with your’s and every other on-screen character’s demise.  A chick also shoots herself rather than hook up with Skooter, so that’s cool too.  By the way, Dirk loves himself some Skooter.  CATCH-A-RIDE, CATCH-A-RIDE!!!!

While we were trying to decide how to appropriately convey what Borderlands 2 is, we decided to bring in yet another friend of the show, Todd.  You may know him as the namesake of “Todd’s Gaming News” as he holds all of our gaming news to a unparalleled standard.  He also doesn’t remember dogging on us so hard about our news segment that we named it after him, so that’s fun.  Outside of Borderlands (get it), we talk about a woman who is allegedly blowing people for a positive game review for her allegedly shitty game, the rumored Read Dead Redemption sequel, and what we hope will be the best game ever to exist in every sense of existence: The Saint’s Row 4 sequel.  We hope you’ve seen it coming down the road, so CATCH-A-RIDE with the Casual Cowards of Gaming for Episode 31.

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It has taken three times for us to get it right, but hopefully, we have a video uploaded to our YouTube channel for your viewing pleasure.  Seriously, Rian has no excuse to not have this thing posted by the time your reading this.

Outside of that, we had such a good time with our Indie Brawl, we decided that we wanted to do another one for the NES.  We also received no feedback on our Indie Brawl, so we assumed that you loved it too.  This week we had a fourth person in the studio, Dat Dee_El_See, so we made him the judge for our brawl.  If you missed the premise of our first Brawl episode, we all selected an individual game, brought it to the table, and pitted it against the other Coward’s games.  Rian championed Excite Bike, Chester picked up the mantle for Snake Rattle ‘n’ Roll, and Dirk chose to defend the honor of RC Pro-Am.

We added a little more flair as we went round robin twice with one round to pimp our games and a second round to trash the other games.  You need to remember that we are a drinking podcast first, so while each of us have most certainly played all of these titles in the past, we somehow have blanked most of the game play from our minds.  Chester did pull a wild card and was able to pull a game that was nothing but dick and ball jokes.  Either way, this is our Thunder Dome and only one shall leave, which Dee_El_See made his choice for the victor.  If you disagree with any of our arguments, or who wound up on top, feel free to leave us a comment or hit us up on the Twitter and/or Facebook to let us know your grievances.  We hope that you know who runs Barter Town, because we’re coming to take it over!! Sit back and enjoy Pointcast 30.1 of the Casual Cowards of Gaming.

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First and foremost, we want to start by whoring for our 24 hour charity video game marathon over at Extra Life for the Phoenix Children’s Hospital.  We are going to play 24 straight hours of video games and broadcast it live for all of you and all you have to do is donate to the Children’s Hospital.  GO DO IT NOW!!!

That being said, we are happy to welcome our newest, and hopefully most frequent guest, DLC.  Check him out on Twitter and Instagram for a real good time.  We’re happy to have him on because he brought Gamescon to the table and we were oblivious to it because it was in Germany.  He also works at Fallout Games, and really wants you to come in and talk to him about games so go chew his ear for a while.  We also have a lot of technical issues, so bare with us.

After we rambled for way too long, we decided to talk about Goldeneye 007 for the Nintendo 64.  This game defined the PS1/Sega Saturn/N64 generation’s First Person Shooter and introduced local multi-player.  In doing so, it spawned the phrase “STOP LOOKING AT MY SCREEN” and the rule of not being Odd Job.  We also reminisce about how there was that one guy who knew every spawn point in the multi-player mode who just made playing the game unbearable.  For the most part, we loved this game, and while it is showing it’s age compared to the newer First Person Shooters, we respect Goldeneye for the wheels it set in motion.  If you get a chance to revisit this game, give it time and you’ll eventually relearn to love it.  We hope that you’re ready for Golden Gun mode because we shoot to kill and get ready for Episode 30 of the Casual Cowards of Gaming.

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Pointcast 29.1 – Blame and Murder your Friends!

While we were out at SGC we had the pleasure of meeting the guys from Blank Media Games who reluctantly gave Dirk a shirt and turned us on to their awesome online game, Town of Salem.  This cute little Flash game pits 15 people against each other where the town’s people try to find the Serial Killer while battling the Mafia.  How do you save the town?  Simple, you accuse people you suspect in a public forum and vote to see if they die.  Seriously, you kill people right in front of the whole town while they plead for their cute little cartoon lives.  Oh, people also get murdered at night, so let’s hope that you make it through the first night.  The game can quickly turn into a mess if people, say, ourselves, decide to troll the games with some of our friends.  That being said, thanks Corey!!!

As 2/3 of the Casual Cowards are mentally handicapped, only Chester was able to actually get into the game and learn it’s intricacies.  Seriously, getting the Internet to work together to murder people is no easy task.  Rian and Dirk also tried to play, but the other people in town were three steps ahead of them and before they knew it, DEAD!  There is enough to Town of Salem to provide hours of fun, even if you are not screwing around like us.  This is also our first Pointcast that you can check out on our YouTube channel, so go check that out (if Rian remembers to post it).    Be sure to have your last will and death note ready as we cannot guarantee your safety throughout the night, but we can give you Pointcast 29.1 of the Casual Cowards of Gaming.

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We’ll acknowledge right off the bat that one of our games is not an indie game, we were given all of these titles by our friend Scott from the Free Indie Gamers, so check them out over on the YouTubes.   Regardless of whether it is an indie game or not, we still think it fits nicely into our little Indie Brawl.  We each played an indie game, brought it to the table, and we battled it out until one game was crowned the victor.  As our champions, Chester chose Dear Esther, Dirk chose Broken Sword: Shadow of the Templars the Director’s Cut (not an indie game), and Rian selected Stealth Bastard Deluxe.  Remember, the games were only played individually and the other two had not payed the other games at all.  And so we battle!!! Appropriately, Rian’s game can be shortened to SBD, which we’re all privy to every week that we record.  All of the titles can be found on Steam, so we recommend going to check them out and we’ve even hyper linked them for your convenience.

While it’s namesake does not enjoy our new section, we discuss how Game Stop is about to release their terrible 26.99 percent interest rate credit card and we feel sorry for the the idiot kids that are going to be hosed in that deal.  The game Boy turns 25, which makes us all admit that we’re getting long in tooth, but we couldn’t be happier with what the gaming system started.  If you are one of three people that has not seen the new/old Deadpool movie tech demo, we implore you to do so, and for some reason we talk about Flappy Bird.  We hope that you know who runs Barter Town, because only one of these games is walking out of here.  Get ready for the Thunder Dome and enjoy the 29th episode of the Casual Cowards of Gaming.

Hi Tom!!

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Pointcast 28.1 – NOW WITH MORE VIDEO!!!

Oh, there is no video for this episode.  It was super awesome when we got done recording our episode to find out that our stream to YouTube stopped and didn’t give us a warning or notification, so we have no video.  We have learned from our mistake and will try to do a better job next time, but until then, stick this in your earballs.

While out in Texas for SGC, we got into a debate as to what constituted a video game.  Dirk flat out made the declaration that he does not believe that mobile games are video games, to which Chester retorted by showing Dirk Clash of the Clans on his phone and said, “this is being played on a video screen.”  Dirk then punched him in the face and won the argument outright.  In the aftermath, we decided that since we have some new listeners, we would initiate a debate on the state of gaming as we see it and see what everyone thinks.  It turns out that Dirk is on his own little island with his mobile gaming hate as Rian and Chester both play mobile games frequently.  While there is non-consensus on the mobile gaming, we all agreed that we HATE micro-transactions and the whole fantastic consumption culture that stores like Game Stop created.

Is there another video game crash on the horizon like the one from 1983?  We have no idea, but we do know that we don’t like being fleeced to play a game that we like.  Is there an answer to our concerns?  We have to idea, but we’d like to hear from you, so hit us up on Facebook, or comment section, or Twitter to let us know.  Either way, we hope you enjoy Pointcast 28.1 of the Casual Cowards of Gaming.

Image from South Park Wikia

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We want to start everything off by saying that the ScrewAttack Gaming Convention 2014 was AWESOME.  As such, this is going to be the easiest write-up ever.  With that being said, we met so many people at SGC 2014 that were beyond awesome that we are in the process of creating a “Friends of the Show” page.  If Chester reads these things, he’s going to be pissed as he’s about to make a “Friends of the Show” page.  But before we get to that, here’s a slap-dash list of the great people we met out there:

With all of those names and links, we’re sure you will all be busy for a good deal of time.  For those that we’ve missed on this list, we’ll get them up and running on our Friends page.  If you want to learn how Chester found his way up to the roof of the Sheraton Dallas then you have come to the right place.  Get ready for the 28th Episode of the Casual Cowards of Gaming.

Music this episode – Shovel Knight Remix by DJ Cutman

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The Show Must Go On!!!!

Well, let this be a lesson to us; we should have taken care of all of the posting and write ups for our episodes before the Screw Attack Gaming Convention 2014, but we didn’t.  While our next episode is going to be dedicated to our weekend in Texas, we want to thank each and every one of you that we met at SGC 2014 and we look forward to working/chatting/taking you to a nice steak dinner in the next year.  But until then, we present you with Castle Crashers.  We didn’t even scratch the surface of the game, but we loved everything that we could get into before this episode went to post.  Castle Crashers gave us stylistic cartoon graphics that New Grounds is known for, the music was epic, there was a leveling system, tiny animals would help you out, and on top of the great melee attacks, they threw in magic to boot!

At this point we wish that we had more for you, but as we’ve said before, no one reads these things, and SGC 2014 has ruined us, so this is all you get.  On that note, if you’ve ever wanted to hear Chester say “hot brownie mix” in a pseudo sexual manner, this is your lucky day.  If you’re first time listeners, we would like to welcome you to Pointcast 27.1 of the Casual Cowards of Gaming!

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