Having previously run a support group for the wives and girlfriends of men with autogynephilia (AGP), Wildfire Whispers brings a unique perspective on the intersection of AGP and relationships. Are all such men hopelessly self-centered narcissistic fetishists women should run from — or are there ever legitimate reasons a self-respecting woman might stay? Is full recovery from the addictive cycle of autogynephilic fetishism possible for any man, and if so, what needs to change?

We explore the cultural taboos surrounding AGP and how their erosion in recent years has led to a surge in openly expressed paraphilic behaviors. We discuss the psychological underpinnings of AGP, including the concept of Peter Pan syndrome and how it manifests in men seeking nurturing and validation from their partners.

Wildfire shares her insights on the four stages of AGP, from initial fascination to full transition, and the critical moment when men often name their female alter egos, leading to a split in their identities. This naming process creates a dynamic where the wife feels in competition with an idealized, unattainable version of femininity.

Throughout our conversation, we aim to answer pressing questions: What are the implications of AGP for the partners involved? How can women set boundaries and navigate these challenging relationships? And what role does addiction play in the behaviors associated with AGP? Join us as we unpack these themes and offer support for those grappling with similar experiences.

Wildfire is a writer who is passionate about women’s rights advocacy, empowerment, and protection. Her journey into gender-critical discourse began after she ran an online support group for the wives and partners of AGP men for several years. Initially, she joined the group as a member seeking the same support. Her experiences there deeply moved her to advocate for this often-overlooked group, who frequently struggle to share their stories. Her activism is also shaped by her personal experience of surviving a suicide cluster during her senior year of high school, which tragically claimed the lives of five teenagers. She recognizes the “suicide narrative” as one of the most perilous aspects of gender ideology. Wildfire has found a platform to express her thoughts on X, where she often shares her strong and lengthy opinions. Her words have resonated with many readers, amplifying her voice in the public sphere. Follow her on X @WildfireWhisper

Books mentioned in this episode:
18 Months: A Memoir of a Marriage Lost to Gender Identity, by Shannon Thrace

00:00 Start
[00:00:12] Cultural taboo and AGP dynamics.
[00:06:49] Healing from AGP relationships.
[00:11:21] Psychological impact of cross-dressing.
[00:14:43] Cultural taboo and paraphilias.
[00:19:52] AGP men and nurturing dynamics.
[00:26:05] Narcissism and insatiability in relationships.
[00:29:37] Recovery potential for narcissism.
[00:35:06] Reality versus pleasure principle.
[00:38:31] Stages of sexualization and craving.
[00:46:24] The power of naming.
[00:52:03] Spiritual attachments and addictions.
[00:52:26] Frequency and spiritual connection.
[00:58:30] Influence of psychological technology.
[01:02:53] Toxic envy and admiration.
[01:10:03] Healing from sexual addiction.
[01:12:01] Helping others with gender issues.

ROGD REPAIR Course + Community gives concerned parents instant access to over 120 lessons providing the psychological insights and communication tools you need to get through to your kid. Use code SOMETHERAPIST2025 to take 50% off your first month.

TALK TO ME: book a meeting.

PRODUCTION: Looking for your own podcast producer? Visit PodsByNick.com and mention my podcast for 20% off your initial services.

SUPPORT THE SHOW: subscribe, like, comment, & share or donate.

ORGANIFI: Take 20% off Organifi with code SOMETHERAPIST.

Watch NO WAY BACK: The Reality of Gender-Affirming Care. Use code SOMETHERAPIST to take 20% off your order.

SHOW NOTES & transcript with help from SwellAI.

MUSIC: Thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude & permission.

 ALL OTHER LINKS HERE.

To support this show, please leave a rating & review on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Subscribe, like, comment & share via my YouTube channel. Or recommend this to a friend!

Learn more about Do No Harm.

Take $200 off your EightSleep Pod Pro Cover with code SOMETHERAPIST at EightSleep.com.

Take 20% off all superfood beverages with code SOMETHERAPIST at Organifi.

Check out my shop for book recommendations + wellness products.

Show notes & transcript provided with the help of SwellAI.

Special thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our theme song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude and permission.

Watch NO WAY BACK: The Reality of Gender-Affirming Care (our medical ethics documentary, formerly known as Affirmation Generation). Stream the film or purchase a DVD. Use code SOMETHERAPIST to take 20% off your order. Follow us on X @2022affirmation or Instagram at @affirmationgeneration.

Have a question for me? Looking to go deeper and discuss these ideas with other listeners? Join my Locals community! Members get to ask questions I will respond to in exclusive, members-only livestreams, post questions for upcoming guests to answer, plus other perks TBD.

Many parents today are disillusioned with the options they see for their adolescents. College often appears to be little more than an expensive four-year summer camp that churns out indoctrinated radicals without any practical skills. But most job options available to uneducated young adults can rightly be considered “dead end.” So what can bright, intellectually driven and motivated young people do to cultivate character and marketable skills that will set them up for a lifetime of success and fulfillment?

Enter: The Preparation, an experimental four year program of self-development in which young men choose from a broad range of activities, occupations, and games designed to do just that. Today, I have the pleasure of speaking with Maxim Smith, an impressive and accomplished young man who is acting as a guinea pig for this program. Designed by Doug Casey in collaboration with Maxim’s father, Matthew, the Preparation is intended to be a replacement for the only three routes advertised to young men today - go to college, the military, or a dead-end job.

We delve into the shortcomings of traditional college education, discussing how many students find themselves in debt without the skills or job opportunities they anticipated. Maxim shares his journey of exploring alternative paths, emphasizing the importance of gaining practical skills and real-life experiences over the conventional college route.

We explore the concept of becoming a "Renaissance man" and how The Preparation encourages young men to develop a diverse skill set through hands-on activities, such as EMT training, Brazilian jiu-jitsu, and even working as a wildland firefighter. Maxim highlights the value of adaptability, character, and social skills that come from engaging in various experiences, contrasting this with the often disconnected and theoretical nature of college education.

Throughout our conversation, we address critical questions: What skills will be valuable in an uncertain job market? How can young people channel their energy into meaningful pursuits? And what does it truly mean to prepare for the future in a rapidly changing world? Join us as we unpack these vital topics and consider a more holistic approach to education and personal development.

Maxim Smith is acting as a guinea pig for a program which is meant to prepare young men for the future. This program is designed to be a replacement for the only three routes advertised to young men today - go to college, the military, or a dead-end job.

All of these typical routes of life are designed to shape us into cogs for a wheel that doesn’t serve us. Wasted time, debt, lack of skills, and a soul crushing job define many who follow the traditional route.

This program, called “The Preparation”, is meant to guide young men on a path where they properly utilize their time to gain skills, build relationships, and reach a state of being truly educated. The Preparation is meant to set young men up for success.

https://www.thepreparation.com/

 00:00 Start

[00:02:29] The Preparation program for young men.

[00:07:14] Alternative paths for young men.

[00:09:44] Holistic preparation and skill development.

[00:15:38] Blend of mental and physical skills.

[00:19:24] Uncertainty and skill development.

[00:24:28] Agility in skill development.

[00:29:14] College experience and identity crisis.

[00:32:00] Education system indoctrination issues.

[00:35:16] Middle school accusations of harassment.

[00:40:43] Educational systems and boys' energy.

[00:44:34] Physical activity and motivation.

[00:49:49] Skills for self-directed learning.

[00:54:38] Language acquisition as a skill.

[00:59:29] Wilderness skill schools recommendations.

[01:05:24] Female version of preparation.

[01:08:05] Book completion timeline.

ROGD REPAIR Course + Community gives concerned parents instant access to over 120 lessons providing the psychological insights and communication tools you need to get through to your kid. Use code SOMETHERAPIST2025 to take 50% off your first month.

TALK TO ME: book a meeting.

PRODUCTION: Looking for your own podcast producer? Visit PodsByNick.com and mention my podcast for 20% off your initial services.

SUPPORT THE SHOW: subscribe, like, comment, & share or donate.

ORGANIFI: Take 20% off Organifi with code SOMETHERAPIST.

Watch NO WAY BACK: The Reality of Gender-Affirming Care. Use code SOMETHERAPIST to take 20% off your order.

SHOW NOTES & transcript with help from SwellAI.

MUSIC: Thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude & permission.

 ALL OTHER LINKS HERE.

To support this show, please leave a rating & review on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Subscribe, like, comment & share via my YouTube channel. Or recommend this to a friend!

Learn more about Do No Harm.

Take $200 off your EightSleep Pod Pro Cover with code SOMETHERAPIST at EightSleep.com.

Take 20% off all superfood beverages with code SOMETHERAPIST at Organifi.

Check out my shop for book recommendations + wellness products.

Show notes & transcript provided with the help of SwellAI.

Special thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our theme song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude and permission.

Watch NO WAY BACK: The Reality of Gender-Affirming Care (our medical ethics documentary, formerly known as Affirmation Generation). Stream the film or purchase a DVD. Use code SOMETHERAPIST to take 20% off your order. Follow us on X @2022affirmation or Instagram at @affirmationgeneration.

Have a question for me? Looking to go deeper and discuss these ideas with other listeners? Join my Locals community! Members get to ask questions I will respond to in exclusive, members-only livestreams, post questions for upcoming gues...

In today's episode, I spoke with Katy Faust, founder and president of Them Before Us, a global movement defending children's right to their mother and father. She's also the author of three books: "Them Before Us," "Raising Conservative Kids in a Woke City," and "Pro-Child Politics."

I began by sharing my personal perspective as a stepparent, acknowledging that while my own family structure isn't ideal from the perspective of children's rights, it's important that we can discuss what's best for children without adults becoming defensive. I expressed how Katy's work resonates with me despite sometimes being difficult to hear, as it challenges us to put children's needs before adult desires.

We explored Katy's concept of natural rights, which she explained through three key criteria: they must exist pre-government, nobody has to provide them, and they're distributed equally. She made a compelling case for how conservative values address the root causes of issues that liberals care about, demonstrating how family breakdown underlies many social problems like teen homelessness, incarceration rates, and suicide.

A significant portion of our conversation focused on Katy's approach to raising children with strong values in challenging environments. She outlined three developmental phases - grammar, logic, and rhetoric - and explained how parents should adjust their approach during each phase. The grammar phase (elementary school) focuses on exposing children to truth and beauty while filtering out harmful content. The logic phase (middle school) involves purposefully introducing and discussing societal distortions. The rhetoric phase (high school) emphasizes emotional connection over teaching.

We discussed practical strategies for parents who may have missed earlier opportunities to lay foundational worldview groundwork with their children. Katy stressed the importance of maximizing emotional connection through physical proximity and becoming knowledgeable about issues their children care about, rather than trying to force ideological discussions.

The conversation concluded with insights about how parents can handle their fears about raising children with conservative values in progressive environments, and the importance of what Katy calls the "slow worldview handoff" - a four-step process of teaching children that moves from "I do, you watch" to "you do, I watch.”

Katy Faust is Founder and President of Them Before Us, a global movement defending children’s right to their mother and father, and author of the book by the same name. She publishes, speaks and testifies widely on why marriage and family are matters of justice for children. Her articles have appeared in Newsweek, USA Today, The Federalist, Public Discourse, WORLD Magazine, The Daily Signal, the Washington Examiner, the American Mind, and the American Conservative. She is on the advisory board for the Alliance for Responsible Citizenship. Katy helped design the teen edition of CanaVox which studies sex, marriage and relationships from a natural law perspective. Katy and co-author Stacy Manning detailed their philosophy of worldview transmission in their second book, Raising Conservative Kids in a Woke City. Her third book, Pro-Child Politics was published September 2024. She and her husband are raising their four children in Seattle.

ROGD REPAIR Course + Community gives concerned parents instant access to over 120 lessons providing the psychological insights and communication tools you need to get through to your kid. Use code SOMETHERAPIST2025 to take 50% off your first month.

TALK TO ME: book a meeting.

PRODUCTION: Looking for your own podcast producer? Visit PodsByNick.com and mention my podcast for 20% off your initial services.

SUPPORT THE SHOW: subscribe, like, comment, & share or donate.

ORGANIFI: Take 20% off Organifi with code SOMETHERAPIST.

Watch NO WAY BACK: The Reality of Gender-Affirming Care. Use code SOMETHERAPIST to take 20% off your order.

SHOW NOTES & transcript with help from SwellAI.

MUSIC: Thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude & permission.

 ALL OTHER LINKS HERE.

To support this show, please leave a rating & review on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Subscribe, like, comment & share via my YouTube channel. Or recommend this to a friend!

Learn more about Do No Harm.

Take $200 off your EightSleep Pod Pro Cover with code SOMETHERAPIST at EightSleep.com.

Take 20% off all superfood beverages with code SOMETHERAPIST at Organifi.

Check out my shop for book recommendations + wellness products.

Show notes & transcript provided with the help of SwellAI.

Special thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our theme song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude and permission.

Watch NO WAY BACK: The Reality of Gender-Affirming Care (our medical ethics documentary, formerly known as Affirmation Generation). Stream the film or purchase a DVD. Use code SOMETHERAPIST to take 20% off your order. Follow us on X @2022affirmation or Instagram at @affirmationgeneration.

Have a question for me? Looking to go deeper and discuss these ideas with other listeners? Join my Locals community! Members get to ask questions I will respond to in exclusive, members-only livestreams, post questions for upcoming guests to answer, plus other perks TBD.

I had a fascinating conversation with Nina Paley, an animator, director, artist, and co-host of Heterodorx podcast. While some may know her award-winning animated films like "Sita Sings the Blues" and "Seder Masochism," our conversation delved deeper into her personal journey through cancel culture and her insights on scapegoating dynamics.

Nina shared how her life changed dramatically in 2017 when she spoke up about gender identity issues after a year of careful research and consideration. The backlash was swift and severe – she was banned from festivals, speaking engagements dried up, and her career as a celebrated artist effectively came to an end. What struck me most was her evolution in processing this experience, particularly how she's come to view it through a spiritual lens, despite not being traditionally religious.

We explored the ancient biblical concept of scapegoating, and Nina offered a compelling analysis of the difference between sacrifice and scapegoating. Through her research on Jesus Christ, she had a profound realization that helped her reframe her own experience – she could choose to see herself as a sacrifice rather than just a scapegoat, finding agency in a situation where she previously felt powerless.

Our conversation touched on the psychological dynamics of cancel culture, the nature of tribal behavior, and the powerful energies that get activated when communities unite against a perceived internal threat. Nina's insights about how people often only "punch up" at those they perceive as powerful gave her a new perspective on her own cancellation.

We also discussed her thoughts on artificial intelligence and its impact on artistic communion with audiences, leading to a poignant reflection on how the media landscape is rapidly changing. Nina shared vulnerably about the grief of losing her career and the ongoing process of accepting that the past cannot be recreated.

What I appreciate most about Nina is her ability to maintain perspective while acknowledging pain. Despite everything she's been through, she hasn't lost her capacity for nuanced thinking or her recognition of human complexity. As she put it, "Life is suffering, but it's not only suffering."

This conversation reminded me that sometimes our deepest wounds can become sources of wisdom, and that there's always more than one way to understand our most painful experiences.

Nina Paley is the creator of the award-winning animated musical feature films Sita Sings the Blues and Seder-Masochism. A 2006 Guggenheim Fellow  and Free Culture advocate, she recently published the unexpectedly controversial comic book Agents of H.A.G. and the popular GENDER WARS Playing Cards. She regularly draws requests for Hundred-and-fifty Dollar Drawings. Her experimental digital projects include Apocalypse Animated and MysticSymbolic. A staunch proponent of Free Speech, Nina co-hosts the Heterodorx podcast with Corinna Cohn.

0:00 - Introduction to Nina Paley: animator, director, artist 

3:12 - Early career success with "Sita Sings the Blues" 

7:45 - The 2017 cancellation: speaking up about gender identity 

15:30 - Copyright vs. copyleft: Nina's unconventional views 

23:18 - Understanding scapegoating dynamics 

31:45 - The biblical origins: sacrifice vs. scapegoat 

39:20 - Family dynamics and patterns of scapegoating 

45:30 - Finding agency in victimhood 

52:15 - The power dynamics of cancel culture 

58:40 - Grieving and healing processes 

1:05:23 - AI and the changing media landscape 

1:12:45 - Reflections on life and suffering 

1:16:30 - Where to find Nina's work

ROGD REPAIR Course + Community for Parents is available now! Are you concerned about an adolescent or young adult with Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria? Join at ROGDrepair.com and get instant access to over 100 lessons designed to equip you with the psychological insights and communication tools you need to get through to your kid. Use code SOMETHERAPIST2025 to take 50% off your first month.

TALK TO ME: book a meeting.

PRODUCTION: Looking for your own podcast producer? Visit PodsByNick.com and mention my podcast for 20% off your initial services.

SUPPORT THE SHOW: subscribe, like, comment, & share or donate.

ORGANIFI: Take 20% off Organifi with code SOMETHERAPIST.

Watch NO WAY BACK: The Reality of Gender-Affirming Care. Use code SOMETHERAPIST to take 20% off your order.

SHOW NOTES & transcript with help from SwellAI.

MUSIC: Thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude & permission.

 ALL OTHER LINKS HERE.

To support this show, please leave a rating & review on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Subscribe, like, comment & share via my YouTube channel. Or recommend this to a friend!

Learn more about Do No Harm.

Take $200 off your EightSleep Pod Pro Cover with code SOMETHERAPIST at EightSleep.com.

Take 20% off all superfood beverages with code SOMETHERAPIST at Organifi.

Check out my shop for book recommendations + wellness products.

Show notes & transcript provided with the help of SwellAI.

Special thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our theme song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude and permission.

Watch NO WAY BACK: The Reality of Gender-Affirming Care (our medical ethics documentary, formerly known as Affirmation Generation). Stream the film or purchase a DVD. Use code SOMETHERAPIST to take 20% off your order. Follow us on X

When Harrison was 26 years old, he found out he was going to be a father. Although he hadn’t known his girlfriend for very long, the news filled him with joy, and the expectant parents began enthusiastically preparing for the family life of their dreams. But things took an unexpected turn when the mother-to-be asked him: what if our child is nonbinary or trans? This marked the beginning of a harrowing series of events involving parental alienation, gender lunacy being projected onto a baby, and a prolonged court battle that was ultimately only won because of altogether different factors.

In this touching conversation, a young father shares the challenging path that led him to ultimately win full custody of his son — and the right to affirm him as the boy he was born as. Harrison’s story offers an honest look at navigating the family court system and standing up for his parental rights, even when facing seemingly impossible odds. 

Harrison speaks candidly about his relationship with Sawyer's mother, how their differing views on parenting and gender identity created growing tension, and the difficult decisions he faced as their conflict deepened. He offers unique insights into the family court experience, speaking to both its frustrations and the hope that persistence and dedication can prevail. Harrison's experience serves as both a cautionary tale and a source of encouragement for parents facing similar challenges.

Beyond the legal battle, this episode examines the changing landscape of modern parenting and the importance of staying true to your convictions while navigating complex family dynamics. Harrison's story reminds us that sometimes the hardest paths lead to the most meaningful victories.

Harrison Tinsley is a parental rights advocate and protector of children. Recently he won full custody of his five year old son Sawyer whom he saved from gender ideology and an unsafe environment. He speaks up against gender ideology being pushed on children, kids being given irreversible surgeries, puberty blockers, and hormones, men being in women’s sports and spaces, and says that dads rights matter. Harrison lives by the motto “Be Brave.” He can be followed on X @harrisontinz https://x.com/Harrisontinz

 00:00 Start

[00:00:20] Nature of evil in history.

[00:05:16] Parenting and transgender issues.

[00:10:25] Gender identity and custody battles.

[00:12:21] Child custody and gender confusion.

[00:15:49] Gender madness and family court.

[00:21:09] Child's psychological trauma in custody.

[00:25:57] Custody battle and child safety.

[00:29:44] CPS worker bias and politics.

[00:35:06] Parental custody and gender ideology.

[00:36:57] The nature of evil.

[00:43:02] Duty to protect children.

[00:44:45] Parenting and legal system challenges.

[00:50:40] Courage to speak out.

[00:55:10] Normalizing gender critical perspectives.

[00:58:06] Cancel culture and open dialogue.

[01:04:00] Education reform and homeschooling.

[01:05:00] Protecting kids in legal system.

ROGD REPAIR Course + Community for Parents is available now! Are you concerned about an adolescent or young adult with Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria? Join at ROGDrepair.com and get instant access to over 100 lessons designed to equip you with the psychological insights and communication tools you need to get through to your kid. Use code SOMETHERAPIST2024 to take 50% off your first month.

TALK TO ME: book a discovery call.

SUPPORT THE SHOW: subscribe, like, comment, & share or donate.

ORGANIFI: Take 20% off Organifi with code SOMETHERAPIST.

Watch NO WAY BACK: The Reality of Gender-Affirming Care. Use code SOMETHERAPIST to take 20% off your order. Follow us on X @2022affirmation or Instagram at @affirmationgeneration. 

SHOW NOTES & transcript with help from SwellAI.

MUSIC: Thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude & permission.

PRODUCTION: Looking for your own podcast producer? Visit PodsByNick.com and mention my podcast for 20% off your initial services.

To support this show, please leave a rating & review on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Subscribe, like, comment & share via my YouTube channel. Or recommend this to a friend!

Learn more about Do No Harm.

Take $200 off your EightSleep Pod Pro Cover with code SOMETHERAPIST at EightSleep.com.

Take 20% off all superfood beverages with code SOMETHERAPIST at Organifi.

Check out my shop for book recommendations + wellness products.

Show notes & transcript provided with the help of SwellAI.

Special thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our theme song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude and permission.

Watch NO WAY BACK: The Reality of Gender-Affirming Care (our medical ethics documentary, formerly known as Affirmation Generation). Stream the film or purchase a DVD. Use code SOMETHERAPIST to take 20% off your order. Follow us on X @2022affirmation or Instagram at @affirmationgeneration.

Have a question for me? Looking to go deeper and discuss these ideas with other listeners? Join my Locals community! Members get to ask questions I will respond to in exclusive, members-only livestreams, post questions for upcoming guests to answer, plus other perks TBD.

*This episode was intended to be released on Monday, December 30, 2024. While the video version was released on YouTube on that date, apparently I forgot to complete the process of scheduling it to go out on audio platforms, and only noticed the error on Friday, January 3, 2025. I apologize for the error.

In this solo episode, I close out the year by reflecting on the significant events and personal growth I experienced throughout 2024. I ask myself questions about my guiding values and decision-making processes when faced with challenges, and explore what I would like to take with me and to leave behind as we enter 2025. 

I share a bit about personal hardships I faced this past year, including a choppy start to the year as the highs of a paradisiacal vacation ended in worsening illness culminating in a new low. This experience led me to seek even more novel treatments for my symptoms, specifically a stellate ganglion block procedure, which I discuss in detail, highlighting its impact on my nervous system and overall well-being.

As I navigated my health struggles, I made the difficult decision to step back from therapy to focus on consulting, allowing me to prioritize my health while still providing support to parents of gender-confused youth, eventually resulting in developing my course, ROGD Repair. I delve into the importance of listening to our bodies and trusting the process, which ultimately led to the development of this niche program that applies my strengths in psychology and communication to the novel challenges facing families today.

Throughout the episode, I also confront the challenges of being in the public eye, including the unexpected backlash I faced in May, and how I am learning to find humor and perspective in difficult situations. As I look forward to 2025, I share my intentions for the new year, including wedding planning and the launch of continuing education courses for therapists, all while maintaining a focus on connection and community.

 00:00 Start

[00:01:18] New Year's intentions and reflections.

[00:06:49] Navigating personal health challenges.

[00:09:30] Stellate ganglion block experience.

[00:12:55] Effects of SGB medical procedure.

[00:17:10] Therapy vs. Consulting Transition.

[00:23:39] Niche consulting for parents.

[00:25:36] Friendly fire and hidden enemies.

[00:30:24] Relationships with podcast listeners.

[00:33:09] Healing through positive relationships.

[00:37:16] Nature of evil.

[00:44:09] Synchronous communication versus asynchronous.

[00:46:16] Finding ikigai and gratitude.

[00:51:32] Embracing the aging process.

[00:53:17] Non-toxic lifestyle choices.

[00:57:44] Ego-dystonic versus ego-syntonic.

[01:01:51] Healing through humor and levity.

[01:06:21] Clear-eyed compassion and eye health.

[01:09:06] Growth and perspective in life.

[01:14:00] The power of positive perception.

[01:17:01] ROGD Repair community benefits.

[01:17:56] Desiderata by Max Ehrmann.

To support this show, please leave a rating & review on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Subscribe, like, comment & share via my YouTube channel. Or recommend this to a friend!

Learn more about Do No Harm.

Take $200 off your EightSleep Pod Pro Cover with code SOMETHERAPIST at EightSleep.com.

Take 20% off all superfood beverages with code SOMETHERAPIST at Organifi.

Check out my shop for book recommendations + wellness products.

Show notes & transcript provided with the help of SwellAI.

Special thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our theme song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude and permission.

Watch NO WAY BACK: The Reality of Gender-Affirming Care (our medical ethics documentary, formerly known as Affirmation Generation). Stream the film or purchase a DVD. Use code SOMETHERAPIST to take 20% off your order. Follow us on X @2022affirmation or Instagram at @affirmationgeneration.

Have a question for me? Looking to go deeper and discuss these ideas with other listeners? Join my Locals community! Members get to ask questions I will respond to in exclusive, members-only livestreams, post questions for upcoming guests to answer, plus other perks TBD.

A short and sweet message to wish you happy holidays. Listen to last year's episode 89. A Christmas Song for Weary Hearts: Snow by Sleeping at Last.

ROGD REPAIR Course + Community for Parents is available now! Are you concerned about an adolescent or young adult with Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria? Join at ROGDrepair.com and get instant access to over 100 lessons designed to equip you with the psychological insights and communication tools you need to get through to your kid. Use code SOMETHERAPIST2024 to take 50% off your first month.

TALK TO ME: book a discovery call.

LOCALS: Ask questions of me & guests; get early access to new episodes + exclusive content. Join my community.

SUPPORT THE SHOW: subscribe, like, comment, & share or donate.

EIGHTSLEEP: Take $200 off your EightSleep Pod Pro Cover with code SOMETHERAPIST.

ORGANIFI: Take 20% off Organifi with code SOMETHERAPIST.

Watch NO WAY BACK: The Reality of Gender-Affirming Care. Use code SOMETHERAPIST to take 20% off your order. Follow us on X @2022affirmation or Instagram at @affirmationgeneration. 

SHOW NOTES & transcript with help from SwellAI.

MUSIC: Thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude & permission.

PRODUCTION: Looking for your own podcast producer? Visit PodsByNick.com and mention my podcast for 20% off your initial services.

To support this show, please leave a rating & review on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Subscribe, like, comment & share via my YouTube channel. Or recommend this to a friend!

Learn more about Do No Harm.

Take $200 off your EightSleep Pod Pro Cover with code SOMETHERAPIST at EightSleep.com.

Take 20% off all superfood beverages with code SOMETHERAPIST at Organifi.

Check out my shop for book recommendations + wellness products.

Show notes & transcript provided with the help of SwellAI.

Special thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our theme song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude and permission.

Watch NO WAY BACK: The Reality of Gender-Affirming Care (our medical ethics documentary, formerly known as Affirmation Generation). Stream the film or purchase a DVD. Use code SOMETHERAPIST to take 20% off your order. Follow us on X @2022affirmation or Instagram at @affirmationgeneration.

Have a question for me? Looking to go deeper and discuss these ideas with other listeners? Join my Locals community! Members get to ask questions I will respond to in exclusive, members-only livestreams, post questions for upcoming guests to answer, plus other perks TBD.

Many critical thinkers have rightfully wondered why gender dysphoria is treated in clinical settings any differently from anorexia, body integrity identity disorder, and other psychiatric ailments featuring a mind-body problem. Today’s guest is the right person to answer that question.

Jaco van Zyl, a South Africa-trained clinical psychologist now practicing in Ireland, joins me to discuss his paper, "Formulating Gender Dysphoria as an Affective-Perceptual Disturbance Involving the Body," which was recently published in the journal Psychodynamic Practice. Jaco shares his insights on the psychological underpinnings of gender dysphoria, particularly in adolescents, and critiques the current activist-driven narratives that often overshadow psychodynamic perspectives.

We explore the developmental journey of infants and how early experiences shape their understanding of identity and bodily sensations. Jaco emphasizes the importance of navigating the pleasure and reality principles, a concept rooted in psychoanalytic theory, and how failures in this process can lead to arrested development. We also discuss the implications of ideologies that discourage critical thinking about gender identity, highlighting the dangers of treating distress as a literal interpretation of one's body.

Throughout our conversation, we aim to unpack the complexities of gender dysphoria, the role of early attachment experiences, and the potential consequences of affirming practices that may overlook deeper psychological issues. This episode invites listeners to consider the intersection of psychoanalysis, gender identity, and the importance of fostering a more nuanced understanding of these critical topics.

Jaco van Zyl is a South Africa-trained Clinical Psychologist in private practice in Ireland. He has worked in the Department of Correctional Services, and in private practice at a psychiatric hospital in South Africa. Jaco has a special interest in personality pathology and its relationship with mood and anxiety disorders, trauma-spectrum disorders, gender-related distress, eating disorders and addiction. He is also interested in the psychology of large-groups, gleaning from his own experience growing up in South Africa, and the role ideology plays in mass illusion in political and ideological movements. He is a co-director of Critical Therapy Antidote, a UK-based organisation consisting of clinicians concerned with the ideological take-over of the psychology and psychotherapy field. Jaco is also the co-host of the CTA Podcast, where he and his co-hosts, Christine Sefein and Michael Olan, discuss topics related to psychology, psychological practice, and society.

Books mentioned in this episode are listed below.

• The Luck Factor: The Scientific Study of the Lucky Mind by Richard Wiseman

View my complete list of book recommendations, including those written by authors who have been guests on this show, at https://sometherapist.com/bookshop.

As an Amazon affiliate, I earn a small commission from qualifying purchases made through affiliate links from my show notes or website. Thank you for purchases that support the show!

 00:00 Start

[00:02:05] Gender dysphoria and psychodynamics.

[00:04:31] Conversion therapy and gender identity.

[00:08:45] Psychological development of infants.

[00:13:45] Good enough mother concept.

[00:20:10] Symbolization and gender dysphoria.

[00:24:30] Scapegoating of body parts.

[00:27:41] Gender dysphoria and psychoanalysis.

[00:32:54] Psychoanalysis and queer theory.

[00:40:01] Arrested development and personality disorders.

[00:44:10] Protective factors in development.

[00:46:53] Luck as an attitude.

[00:52:23] The impact of envy on gratitude.

[00:56:38] The value of internal support.

[01:02:04] Gender dysphoria and body disorders.

[01:05:00] Body image and emotional distress.

[01:10:12] The allure of gender ideology.

[01:15:40] Untested hypotheses and self-identity.

[01:18:39] Therapy with young people.

[01:27:36] Adolescence as a cure for dysphoria.

[01:30:54] Critical Therapy Antidote training materials.

[01:33:04] Reality is more exciting.

ROGD REPAIR Course + Community for Parents is available now! Are you concerned about an adolescent or young adult with Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria? Join at ROGDrepair.com and get instant access to over 100 lessons designed to equip you with the psychological insights and communication tools you need to get through to your kid. Use code SOMETHERAPIST2024 to take 50% off your first month.

TALK TO ME: book a discovery call.

LOCALS: Ask questions of me & guests; get early access to new episodes + exclusive content. Join my community.

SUPPORT THE SHOW: subscribe, like, comment, & share or donate.

EIGHTSLEEP: Take $200 off your EightSleep Pod Pro Cover with code SOMETHERAPIST.

ORGANIFI: Take 20% off Organifi with code SOMETHERAPIST.

Watch NO WAY BACK: The Reality of Gender-Affirming Care. Use code SOMETHERAPIST to take 20% off your order. Follow us on X @2022affirmation or Instagram at @affirmationgeneration. 

SHOW NOTES & transcript with help from SwellAI.

MUSIC: Thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude & permission.

PRODUCTION: Looking for your own podcast producer? Visit PodsByNick.com and mention my podcast for 20% off your initial services.

To support this show, please leave a rating & review on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Subscribe, like, comment & share via my YouTube channel. Or recommend this to a friend!

Learn more about Do No Harm.

Take $200 off your EightSleep Pod Pro Cover with code SOMETHERAPIST at EightSleep.com.

Take 20% off all superfood beverages with code SOMETHERAPIST at Organifi.

Check out my shop for book recommendations + wellnes...

In this solo episode, I share some exciting news for parents navigating the complexities of communicating with their trans-identified children — especially those who may have financial barriers preventing them from enrolling in my program, ROGD Repair. I announce a new scholarship program, made possible by a generous anonymous donor, which will allow 15 families in financial need to access the course for free. Please share this episode with someone you know who could benefit!

For those who aren’t already familiar, I describe what’s in ROGD Repair, a comprehensive self-guided online course designed to help parents understand and improve their relationships with their adolescents or young adults who are questioning their gender identity. I describe how the new scholarship program works, and how parents in financial need with a sincere desire to engage in the program can apply.

I discuss the importance of mindset and communication strategies, emphasizing that parents can control their approach and understanding of their child's state of mind. The program includes over 120 lessons, featuring videos, written content, reflection questions, and community discussions, all aimed at providing educational guidance to empower parents to make wise decisions when communicating in high-stakes situations.

Throughout the episode, I explore key concepts such as the psychological dynamics at play in these situations, the impact of social contagion, and effective communication techniques that can foster better understanding and connection. My goal is to equip parents with the tools they need to navigate these challenging conversations and ultimately support their children's well-being.

 00:00 Start

[00:00:57] Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria.

[00:04:42] Consulting parents of trans youth.

[00:07:45] Reflection questions for family dynamics.

[00:12:04] Scholarship program announcement.

[00:14:42] Scholarship program for families.

[00:20:36] Communication strategies with children.

[00:21:39] Family dynamics and support roles.

[00:25:21] Psychology and communication in parenting.

[00:29:01] Dysfunctional family communication patterns.

[00:32:24] Double binds in family psychology.

[00:37:46] Female-specific issues in parenting.

[00:40:14] Adolescent inhibition versus disinhibition.

[00:45:28] Scholarship program for families.

[00:47:01] Free discovery calls for support.

[00:50:47] Unforeseen troubles and benefits.

ROGD REPAIR Course + Community for Parents is available now! Are you concerned about an adolescent or young adult with Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria? Join at ROGDrepair.com and get instant access to over 100 lessons designed to equip you with the psychological insights and communication tools you need to get through to your kid. Use code SOMETHERAPIST2024 to take 50% off your first month.

TALK TO ME: book a discovery call.

LOCALS: Ask questions of me & guests; get early access to new episodes + exclusive content. Join my community.

SUPPORT THE SHOW: subscribe, like, comment, & share or donate.

EIGHTSLEEP: Take $200 off your EightSleep Pod Pro Cover with code SOMETHERAPIST.

ORGANIFI: Take 20% off Organifi with code SOMETHERAPIST.

Watch NO WAY BACK: The Reality of Gender-Affirming Care. Use code SOMETHERAPIST to take 20% off your order. Follow us on X @2022affirmation or Instagram at @affirmationgeneration. 

SHOW NOTES & transcript with help from SwellAI.

MUSIC: Thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude & permission.

PRODUCTION: Looking for your own podcast producer? Visit PodsByNick.com and mention my podcast for 20% off your initial services.

To support this show, please leave a rating & review on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Subscribe, like, comment & share via my YouTube channel. Or recommend this to a friend!

Learn more about Do No Harm.

Take $200 off your EightSleep Pod Pro Cover with code SOMETHERAPIST at EightSleep.com.

Take 20% off all superfood beverages with code SOMETHERAPIST at Organifi.

Check out my shop for book recommendations + wellness products.

Show notes & transcript provided with the help of SwellAI.

Special thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our theme song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude and permission.

Watch NO WAY BACK: The Reality of Gender-Affirming Care (our medical ethics documentary, formerly known as Affirmation Generation). Stream the film or purchase a DVD. Use code SOMETHERAPIST to take 20% off your order. Follow us on X @2022affirmation or Instagram at @affirmationgeneration.

Have a question for me? Looking to go deeper and discuss these ideas with other listeners? Join my Locals community! Members get to ask questions I will respond to in exclusive, members-only livestreams, post questions for upcoming guests to answer, plus other perks TBD.

In this episode, I have the pleasure of speaking with Diana Lutfi, a bioethics and legal scholar, who recently authored an amicus brief on behalf of the detransitioners community in the Supreme Court case, United States of America v. Jonathan Skrmetti. We dive deep into the implications of this landmark case, which challenges Tennessee's prohibition on “gender-affirming care” for minors. Diana explains how this case could set a precedent affecting similar laws in 26 states, raising critical questions about the future of sex trait modification.

We discuss the complexities surrounding the concept of "standards of care" in pediatric gender treatment, particularly how these standards can be influenced by political agendas rather than solid evidence. Diana emphasizes the importance of recognizing biological differences in healthcare and the inherent discrimination that occurs in medical treatment based on sex. We also explore the tension between parental rights, state regulations, and the autonomy of minors in making life-altering decisions.

Throughout our conversation, we aim to uncover the broader implications of this case for healthcare policy and the ethical considerations surrounding permanent sex trait alteration for minors. Join us as we navigate these challenging topics and seek to understand the stakes involved for individuals and families facing these critical decisions.

Read the amicus brief here.

Donate to support Diana's work.

Diana Lutfi, JD, MSHCM, CPHQ is a legal and bioethics scholar, healthcare professional, and advocate of patients' and providers' rights. Marked by a history of public service, Diana founded sustainable high school programs and pioneered a TEDx Youth movement in Southern California. She founded a large (100+ students) credit-bearing worldviews course at UC Berkeley. During the pandemic, Diana successfully challenged and changed Colorado Nursing Board rules, decreasing the red tape around reinstatements. Diana has avidly worked to protect patients' rights amidst healthcare policy, helped physicians write policy proposals, and most recently authored a Supreme Court amicus on behalf of the larger detransitioners community. In her professional career, Diana was a human subjects researcher, healthcare administrator, educator, and projects consultant. She has extensively investigated issues around access, autonomy, bodily integrity, and coercion in healthcare. Diana has consciously positioned herself to defend health freedom and protect healthcare providers seeking to reform our healthcare system.

View my complete list of book recommendations, including those written by authors who have been guests on this show, at https://sometherapist.com/bookshop.

As an Amazon affiliate, I earn a small commission from qualifying purchases made through affiliate links from my show notes or website. Thank you for purchases that support the show!

 00:00 Start

[00:02:16] Supreme Court case on gender care.

[00:04:30] Access to gender-affirming care.

[00:10:43] Standards of care in pediatrics.

[00:12:46] Power dynamics in healthcare dissent.

[00:20:45] Expanding rights and access.

[00:24:01] Detransitioner community's legal advocacy.

[00:26:35] Healthcare discrimination and reference ranges.

[00:30:54] Testicular cancer and hormones.

[00:35:54] Pediatric gender transition regulations.

[00:40:51] Healthcare discrimination and exceptions.

[00:47:54] Life-altering decisions in youth.

[00:49:18] Autonomy in minors' healthcare decisions.

[00:56:19] State prohibition on gender-affirming care.

[00:57:31] Right to bodily integrity.

[01:02:41] Consequences of pediatric gender-affirming care.

[01:06:38] Risk factors for suicide.

[01:11:08] Minor autonomy and permanent decisions.

[01:17:27] Protecting individual rights through experience.

[01:20:05] Future of the Skrmetti case.

[01:24:17] Gender affirming care reality.

ROGD REPAIR Course + Community for Parents is available now! Are you concerned about an adolescent or young adult with Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria? Join at ROGDrepair.com and get instant access to over 100 lessons designed to equip you with the psychological insights and communication tools you need to get through to your kid. Use code SOMETHERAPIST2024 to take 50% off your first month.

TALK TO ME: book a discovery call.

SUPPORT THE SHOW: subscribe, like, comment, & share or donate.

EIGHTSLEEP: Take $200 off your EightSleep Pod Pro Cover with code SOMETHERAPIST.

ORGANIFI: Take 20% off Organifi with code SOMETHERAPIST.

Watch NO WAY BACK: The Reality of Gender-Affirming Care. Use code SOMETHERAPIST to take 20% off your order. Follow us on X @2022affirmation or Instagram at @affirmationgeneration. 

SHOW NOTES & transcript with help from SwellAI.

MUSIC: Thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude & permission.

PRODUCTION: Looking for your own podcast producer? Visit PodsByNick.com and mention my podcast for 20% off your initial services.

To support this show, please leave a rating & review on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Subscribe, like, comment & share via my YouTube channel. Or recommend this to a friend!

Learn more about Do No Harm.

Take $200 off your EightSleep Pod Pro Cover with code SOMETHERAPIST at EightSleep.com.

Take 20% off all superfood beverages with code SOMETHERAPIST at Organifi.

Check out my shop for book recommendations + wellness products.

Show notes & transcript provided with the help of SwellAI.

Special thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our theme song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude and permission.