In this episode of the Zero Disturbance Podcast, we continue the series Why Women Go to Therapy by exploring a counterintuitive and often uncomfortable truth: women can be disrespectful to men by not allowing them to figure things out for themselves. We highlight how women, who statistically attend therapy at much higher rates and have been socially conditioned to be nurturers, often slip into mothering, over-functioning, and enabling male partners. This deprives men of the opportunity to develop the foundational belief “I can figure things out”—a belief essential for emotional maturity, accountability, and healthy relationship dynamics. Learn what really happens when women stop “figuring things out” for their partners—and why it’s one of the most empowering shifts you can make in a relationship.

We’re calling listeners to step into a new framework:
✨ I can figure things out — and he can figure things out.
From this place, women can stop managing, fixing, and rescuing, and instead shift toward clear expectations, self-responsibility, and relational self-respect. The episode encourages deeper reflection on enabling behaviors, misplaced responsibility, and the revolutionary possibility of holding men capable instead of helpless.

🎯 KEY TAKEAWAYS

Because women attend therapy more frequently and are conditioned to be nurturers, they often take responsibility for emotional labor, change efforts, and “relationship management” that does not belong to them. When women step back, we reclaim our energy and clarity—honoring our boundaries and focusing on our own growth.

When women assume men can’t improve, regulate emotions, communicate, or take responsibility, they unintentionally infantilize them. This diminishes growth and creates inequitable relationships. When women step back, he shows who he really is—takes responsibility (or doesn’t), learns (or doesn’t), and reveals patterns. When the relationship shifts, and healthier dynamics emerge, we allow the truth about compatibility to become clear.

In EMDR and in life, this positive belief fosters internal safety, resilience, autonomy, and evolution. Equally important? Believing others — including men — can figure things out too.

Note: This content is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional therapy. If you’re experiencing difficulties, please seek guidance from a licensed mental health provider. All stories, examples, and characters shared are fictionalized or composite representations. Any resemblance to actual persons or situations is purely coincidental and intended solely for educational illustration.

Want to learn more about empowering yourself to experience therapy or coaching on your terms? If you appreciated this episode, you wont want to miss out on The Client Workbook + supporting videos! https://www.zerodisturbance.com/client-workbook 

We also offer free resources for clients and therapists! Get access to our free client resource library for the most up-to-date tools and resources for your own journey.  

Therapists, access our favorite free resources for designing high-value offers in The Zero Disturbance Welcome Bundle, 

https://www.zerodisturbance.com/free-resources  

With a Masters in Education from Vanderbilt, Kambria has been creating trainings and teaching adult learners for over 20 years. As the Director of Education and Quality Improvement at Stanford Medical School, she created ease in complex systems, thereby giving medical trainees successful learning experiences. Now, as a dedicated mom, therapist, and EMDR Consultant, Kambria knows what it means to do things efficiently, effectively, and in a learner-centered way. When she isn't podcasting or creating online courses, you can find Kambria playing with her twins on a beach in California.

In this episode, we reframe the viral conversation about “the male loneliness epidemic,” arguing that the issue isn’t loneliness — it’s a lack of curiosity.

Men are naming their feelings more openly (which is great), but many are stopping there. Instead of asking why women are distancing themselves or leaving relationships, many men blame women, double down on old power structures, or retreat into defensiveness.

We break down why this is happening, how power dynamics influence curiosity, and why women do not need to step in and fix or teach anyone. The capacity to learn exists — but curiosity must be a chosen behavior, not outsourced emotional labor.

Note: This content is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional therapy. If you’re experiencing difficulties, please seek guidance from a licensed mental health provider. All stories, examples, and characters shared are fictionalized or composite representations. Any resemblance to actual persons or situations is purely coincidental and intended solely for educational illustration.

Want to learn more about empowering yourself to experience therapy or coaching on your terms? If you appreciated this episode, you wont want to miss out on The Client Workbook + supporting videos! https://www.zerodisturbance.com/client-workbook 

We also offer free resources for clients and therapists! Get access to our free client resource library for the most up-to-date tools and resources for your own journey.  

Therapists, access our favorite free resources for designing high-value offers in The Zero Disturbance Welcome Bundle, 

https://www.zerodisturbance.com/free-resources  

With a Masters in Education from Vanderbilt, Kambria has been creating trainings and teaching adult learners for over 20 years. As the Director of Education and Quality Improvement at Stanford Medical School, she created ease in complex systems, thereby giving medical trainees successful learning experiences. Now, as a dedicated mom, therapist, and EMDR Consultant, Kambria knows what it means to do things efficiently, effectively, and in a learner-centered way. When she isn't podcasting or creating online courses, you can find Kambria playing with her twins on a beach in California.

In this game-changing episode of The Zero Disturbance Podcast, Kambria Evans continues the "Why Women Go to Therapy" series with a profound conversation on marriage, identity, and the transformative power of EMDR therapy. Drawing from over a decade of clinical experience, she explores how so many women enter marriage carrying generational programming, internalized shame, and false beliefs about what makes them "good" or "successful."

In light of the recent Vogue article suggesting that “having a boyfriend is embarrassing now,” this episode offers a particularly timely lens for re-thinking relational norms. While the Vogue article highlights how in today’s culture many women are publicly distancing themselves from the traditional badge of “partner status”—and instead choosing identity, autonomy, and self-defined value, its time that divorce also got a rebrand. 

Through the story of a fictional client, Betsy, we illustrate how therapy—especially EMDR—can bring clarity, reduce emotional disturbance, and empower women to reevaluate long-held narratives. We challenge the outdated stigma around divorce and offer a bold reframe: divorce, for many women, is not a failure—it's an act of self-respect.

- Why EMDR is so effective in helping women find clarity in relationships

- The "branding of marriage" vs. the reality behind closed doors

- Four essential belief buckets used in EMDR to assess relationship health

- How societal and family programming creates inner conflict around leaving

- Why Self-led decisions—grounded in worth, safety, and power—must guide our biggest life choices

Whether you're navigating a relationship, contemplating a major life shift, or supporting a friend through divorce, this episode offers deep insights and compassionate validation. Its important to remind us: clarity is healing, and choosing yourself is never something to be ashamed of.

 Quote to Remember:

 "Divorce, when chosen from a place of self-worth and clarity, is not a failure—it’s an act of self-respect."

The Zero Disturbance podcast is for educational purposes and is not a replacement for a therapeutic relationship or individualized mental health or medical care. All stories, examples, and characters shared are fictionalized or composite representations. Any resemblance to actual persons or situations is purely coincidental and intended solely for educational illustration.

Want to learn more about empowering yourself to experience therapy or coaching on your terms? If you appreciated this episode, you wont want to miss out on The Client Workbook + supporting videos! https://www.zerodisturbance.com/client-workbook 

We also offer free resources for clients and therapists! Get access to our free client resource library for the most up-to-date tools and resources for your own journey.  

Therapists, access our favorite free resources for designing high-value offers in The Zero Disturbance Welcome Bundle, 

https://www.zerodisturbance.com/free-resources  

With a Masters in Education from Vanderbilt, Kambria has been creating trainings and teaching adult learners for over 20 years. As the Director of Education and Quality Improvement at Stanford Medical School, she created ease in complex systems, thereby giving medical trainees successful learning experiences. Now, as a dedicated mom, therapist, and EMDR Consultant, Kambria knows what it means to do things efficiently, effectively, and in a learner-centered way. When she isn't podcasting or creating online courses, you can find Kambria playing with her twins on a beach in California.

In this powerful episode, we explore the four distinct phases of therapy—with a spotlight on the often-overlooked 4th phase that can transform your healing journey. Drawing from EMDR, Brainspotting, and somatic therapy, this conversation breaks down what most therapeutic models miss and offers a path forward for deeper healing, integration, and self-leadership.

Note: This content is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional therapy. If you’re experiencing difficulties, please seek guidance from a licensed mental health provider. All stories, examples, and characters shared are fictionalized or composite representations. Any resemblance to actual persons or situations is purely coincidental and intended solely for educational illustration.

Want to learn more about empowering yourself to experience therapy or coaching on your terms? If you appreciated this episode, you wont want to miss out on The Client Workbook + supporting videos! https://www.zerodisturbance.com/client-workbook 

We also offer free resources for clients and therapists! Get access to our free client resource library for the most up-to-date tools and resources for your own journey.  

Therapists, access our favorite free resources for designing high-value offers in The Zero Disturbance Welcome Bundle, 

https://www.zerodisturbance.com/free-resources  

With a Masters in Education from Vanderbilt, Kambria has been creating trainings and teaching adult learners for over 20 years. As the Director of Education and Quality Improvement at Stanford Medical School, she created ease in complex systems, thereby giving medical trainees successful learning experiences. Now, as a dedicated mom, therapist, and EMDR Consultant, Kambria knows what it means to do things efficiently, effectively, and in a learner-centered way. When she isn't podcasting or creating online courses, you can find Kambria playing with her twins on a beach in California.

In this episode of the Zero Disturbance Podcast and our Why Women Go to Therapy series, we bust the myth of "dopamine addiction" and dive deep into the truth about what your nervous system is really trying to do. Through powerful storytelling, neuroscience-backed insight, and trauma-informed wisdom, we reframe the language around dopamine, addiction, trauma bonding, and self-soothing. If you’ve ever wondered why you feel "addicted" to love, validation, work, or chaos—this one’s for you.

Key Takeaways:

Note: This content is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional therapy. If you’re experiencing difficulties, please seek guidance from a licensed mental health provider. All stories, examples, and characters shared are fictionalized or composite representations. Any resemblance to actual persons or situations is purely coincidental and intended solely for educational illustration.

Want to learn more about empowering yourself to experience therapy or coaching on your terms? If you appreciated this episode, you wont want to miss out on The Client Workbook + supporting videos! https://www.zerodisturbance.com/client-workbook 

We also offer free resources for clients and therapists! Get access to our free client resource library for the most up-to-date tools and resources for your own journey.  

Therapists, access our favorite free resources for designing high-value offers in The Zero Disturbance Welcome Bundle, 

https://www.zerodisturbance.com/free-resources  

With a Masters in Education from Vanderbilt, Kambria has been creating trainings and teaching adult learners for over 20 years. As the Director of Education and Quality Improvement at Stanford Medical School, she created ease in complex systems, thereby giving medical trainees successful learning experiences. Now, as a dedicated mom, therapist, and EMDR Consultant, Kambria knows what it means to do things efficiently, effectively, and in a learner-centered way. When she isn't podcasting or creating online courses, you can find Kambria playing with her twins on a beach in California.

In this transformative episode, we dive into one of the core reasons many women seek therapy: shame.

But shame isn’t just about feeling bad — it’s a manipulative system that’s often internalized from childhood, society, media, and relationships. Through personal insight and fictional client stories, Kambria walks listeners through how to identify, dismantle, and reclaim power from the shame system using somatic therapies like EMDR and Brainspotting.

This episode is both an invitation and a call to action for women to stop outsourcing their self-worth — and start building a new, Self-Led identity from the inside out.

💡 Key Takeaways:

Listener Challenge:

Take a moment to notice: Where am I still using an internalized shame system that was never mine to begin with?

Then ask: What would it feel like to let that go?

Note: This content is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional therapy. If you’re experiencing difficulties, please seek guidance from a licensed mental health provider. All stories, examples, and characters shared are fictionalized or composite representations. Any resemblance to actual persons or situations is purely coincidental and intended solely for educational illustration.

Want to learn more about empowering yourself to experience therapy or coaching on your terms? If you appreciated this episode, you wont want to miss out on The Client Workbook + supporting videos! https://www.zerodisturbance.com/client-workbook 

We also offer free resources for clients and therapists! Get access to our free client resource library for the most up-to-date tools and resources for your own journey.  

Therapists, access our favorite free resources for designing high-value offers in The Zero Disturbance Welcome Bundle, 

https://www.zerodisturbance.com/free-resources  

With a Masters in Education from Vanderbilt, Kambria has been creating trainings and teaching adult learners for over 20 years. As the Director of Education and Quality Improvement at Stanford Medical School, she created ease in complex systems, thereby giving medical trainees successful learning experiences. Now, as a dedicated mom, therapist, and EMDR Consultant, Kambria knows what it means to do things efficiently, effectively, and in a learner-centered way. When she isn't podcasting or creating online courses, you can find Kambria playing with her twins on a beach in California.

In this episode of the Zero Disturbance Podcast, we share a powerful story from a beachside restaurant in Portugal — where a loud fire alarm went off, but no one responded. This moment becomes a striking metaphor for how women often experience internal and external “alarms” from trauma, anxiety, or smear campaigns — even when they’re no longer in danger.

We explore how outdated nervous system responses (like panic, overthinking, or fear) often come from childhood survival strategies or abusive dynamics. Through therapy — particularly EMDR and Brainspotting — women can learn to recognize these false alarms, reclaim their power, and stop reacting to chaos that isn’t theirs to manage.

We also break down how narcissistic abuse and smear campaigns are designed to trigger alarm responses — and how women can stay grounded, neutral, and empowered in the face of that noise.

Key Takeaways:

Note: This content is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional therapy. If you’re experiencing difficulties, please seek guidance from a licensed mental health provider. All stories, examples, and characters shared are fictionalized or composite representations. Any resemblance to actual persons or situations is purely coincidental and intended solely for educational illustration.

Want to learn more about empowering yourself to experience therapy or coaching on your terms? If you appreciated this episode, you wont want to miss out on The Client Workbook + supporting videos! https://www.zerodisturbance.com/client-workbook 

We also offer free resources for clients and therapists! Get access to our free client resource library for the most up-to-date tools and resources for your own journey.  

Therapists, access our favorite free resources for designing high-value offers in The Zero Disturbance Welcome Bundle, 

https://www.zerodisturbance.com/free-resources  

With a Masters in Education from Vanderbilt, Kambria has been creating trainings and teaching adult learners for over 20 years. As the Director of Education and Quality Improvement at Stanford Medical School, she created ease in complex systems, thereby giving medical trainees successful learning experiences. Now, as a dedicated mom, therapist, and EMDR Consultant, Kambria knows what it means to do things efficiently, effectively, and in a learner-centered way. When she isn't podcasting or creating online courses, you can find Kambria playing with her twins on a beach in California.

On the Zero Disturbance Podcast, in this episode of our Why Women Go to Therapy series, we’re diving into a topic that’s close to my heart — and one that might ruffle a few feathers: Why EMDR is dangerous.

Now before you panic, we’re not saying EMDR is harmful — quite the opposite. EMDR is dangerous because it works. It’s powerful. It has the ability to align you with your positive beliefs of self, and when that happens, everything around you begins to shift. Your relationships, your job, your choices, your entire system — they all get shaken up. And that can feel really unsettling… but it’s also where true healing begins.

Let’s talk about how EMDR contains a value system, even if it’s not named as such — a system rooted in beliefs like “I am safe,” “I have choices,” “I am worthy.” These aren’t just affirmations — they become embodied truths through the process. And as women, we’ve been conditioned to live disconnected from those truths.

We also touch on real-world reasons why EMDR can be considered “dangerous” in our society:

But the biggest danger? The most exciting one?
It’s that EMDR gives women clarity.
Clarity that they are powerful. That they are enough. That they don’t have to stay in systems that don't serve them. And once you have that kind of clarity, you can’t unsee it. You start living differently — and that can feel disruptive, even terrifying. But it’s also liberating.

We wrap up with a few powerful reflection questions Kambria loves to ask herself and her clients:

This episode is for clinicians, for women in therapy, and for anyone ready to see themselves clearly and step fully into their self-led energy. All stories, examples, and characters shared are fictionalized or composite representations. Any resemblance to actual persons or situations is purely coincidental and intended solely for educational illustration.

Note: This content is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional therapy. If you’re experiencing difficulties, please seek guidance from a licensed mental health provider. All stories, examples, and characters shared are fictionalized or composite representations. Any resemblance to actual persons or situations is purely coincidental and intended solely for educational illustration.

Come learn with us at Zero Disturbance:

Want to learn more about empowering yourself to experience therapy or coaching on your terms? If you appreciated this episode, you wont want to miss out on The Client Workbook + supporting videos! https://www.zerodisturbance.com/client-workbook

We also offer free resources for clients and therapists! https://www.zerodisturbance.com/free-resources

Get access to our free client resource library for the most up-to-date tools and resources for your own journey. Therapists, access our favorite free resources for designing high-value offers in The Zero Disturbance Welcome Bundle. 

With a Masters in Education from Vanderbilt, Kambria has been creating trainings and teaching adult learners for over 20 years. As the Director of Education and Quality Improvement at Stanford Medical School, she created ease in complex systems, thereby giving medical trainees successful learning experiences. Now, as a dedicated mom, therapist, and EMDR Consultant, Kambria knows what it means to do things efficiently, effectively, and in a learner-centered way. When she isn't podcasting or creating online courses, you can find Kambria playing with her twins on a beach in California.

In this powerful episode of Zero Disturbance, we challenge the obsession with analyzing narcissists—especially in the wake of narcissism going viral on social media. Drawing from extensive work with female clients recovering from narcissistic abuse, Kambria Evans offers a liberating message: stop trying to understand the narcissist and start reclaiming your own life. We explore how women often stay stuck in mental loops trying to dissect their partner’s behavior, history, or trauma in search of closure. But instead of answers, this rumination prolongs their pain and reinforces an unequal, trauma-informed framework. We emphasize that healthy, empathetic brains will never fully comprehend the narcissistic experience—and they don’t need to.

This episode dives deep into: 

- The emotional trap of trying to "figure out" narcissists

- How empathy is weaponized to keep women stuck in unhealthy dynamics

- Why giving any attention (even negative) keeps you energetically connected to the abuse

- The need to shift focus from the narcissist’s dysfunction to your own healing and power

- How EMDR therapy can help women reclaim positive beliefs of self

- A bold call to stop blaming survivors with language like “trauma bonding”

We also zoom out to connect narcissism with broader systemic issues like patriarchy, showing how women's trauma is often socially reinforced. This episode isn’t just about healing—it's about waking up, taking back your narrative, and creating a future where therapy isn't always about recovering from trauma, but about thriving in your wholeness.

The Zero Disturbance podcast is for educational purposes and is not a replacement for a therapeutic relationship or individualized mental health or medical care. All stories, examples, and characters shared are fictionalized or composite representations. Any resemblance to actual persons or situations is purely coincidental and intended solely for educational illustration.

Want to learn more about empowering yourself to experience therapy or coaching on your terms? If you appreciated this episode, you wont want to miss out on The Client Workbook + supporting videos! https://www.zerodisturbance.com/client-workbook

We also offer free resources for clients and therapists! https://www.zerodisturbance.com/free-resources

Get access to our free client resource library for the most up-to-date tools and resources for your own journey. Therapists, access our favorite free resources for designing high-value offers in The Zero Disturbance Welcome Bundle. 

With a Masters in Education from Vanderbilt, Kambria has been creating trainings and teaching adult learners for over 20 years. As the Director of Education and Quality Improvement at Stanford Medical School, she created ease in complex systems, thereby giving medical trainees successful learning experiences. Now, as a dedicated mom, therapist, and EMDR Consultant, Kambria knows what it means to do things efficiently, effectively, and in a learner-centered way. When she isn't podcasting or creating online courses, you can find Kambria playing with her twins on a beach in California.

In the 100th episode of The Zero Disturbance Podcast, we explore the viral “We Do Not Care Club” created by Melani Sanders — a humorous and healing movement that’s resonating deeply with women everywhere. Through an EMDR lens, we break down why this message feels so good in the body, especially for women navigating burnout, people-pleasing, perfectionism, and midlife transitions like perimenopause and menopause.

We learn how EMDR therapy helps clients move from negative self-beliefs (“I have to be perfect,” “It’s my fault”) to deep somatic neutrality — the kind of empowered calm that fuels true healing and lasting transformation. We also unpack how society’s expectations, gendered emotional labor, and unspoken pressures on women intersect with hormonal shifts, and why so many women are finally saying: We do not care.

Whether you're deep in midlife or just beginning to question the stories you’ve been told, this episode offers education, validation, and a call to reclaim your own nervous system and voice — one belief at a time.

This content is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional therapy. If you’re experiencing difficulties, please seek guidance from a licensed mental health provider. All stories, examples, and characters shared are fictionalized or composite representations. Any resemblance to actual persons or situations is purely coincidental and intended solely for educational illustration.

Come learn with us at Zero Disturbance:

Want to learn more about empowering yourself to experience therapy or coaching on your terms? If you appreciated this episode, you wont want to miss out on The Client Workbook + supporting videos! https://www.zerodisturbance.com/client-workbook

We also offer free resources for clients and therapists! https://www.zerodisturbance.com/free-resources

Get access to our free client resource library for the most up-to-date tools and resources for your own journey. Therapists, access our favorite free resources for designing high-value offers in The Zero Disturbance Welcome Bundle. 

With a Masters in Education from Vanderbilt, Kambria has been creating trainings and teaching adult learners for over 20 years. As the Director of Education and Quality Improvement at Stanford Medical School, she created ease in complex systems, thereby giving medical trainees successful learning experiences. Now, as a dedicated mom, therapist, and EMDR Consultant, Kambria knows what it means to do things efficiently, effectively, and in a learner-centered way. When she isn't podcasting or creating online courses, you can find Kambria playing with her twins on a beach in California.