Dear Matthew,

Just a question. 

Where does one turn to when they don't believe family, friends, or help lines can help a person with issues? 

Sorry to bother you this late. 

I just felt that I had to ask someone that has advice and experience. 

Trying to sleep but, things keeping me up.

Your questions for Matthew to:  [email protected] 

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Deal Breakers vs Deal Makers

(Determining what you should be focusing on)

§ According to research, people place more weight on their deal breakers rather than their deal makers when looking for a long term partner.

§ Common deal breakers usually are: physical unattractiveness, unhealthy lifestyle, undesirable personality traits, different religious beliefs (or unbeliefs), limited social status, differing mating strategies/ideas about sexuality, differing relationship goals.

§ While these are important considerations, it’s also important to identify and seek out the really important deal makers – especially those that are values based.

§ Change the narrative – speak about what you want rather than what you don’t want. Keep the language positive (deal makers) and you’ll actually attract more people than you would if you spoke in negative terms (deal breakers).

Ask yourself, by what lens would you like to be viewed by someone?

Connect with Suzie at www.SingleDatingDiva.com

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Dear Matthew,

I'm really scared... Monday my daughter will go for an ultra sound for her pregnancy...

Maybe the baby will have something wrong?
Will the baby be ok or not?

....thanks for your answer...

Your question for Matthew:  [email protected]
https://www.facebook.com/canadianpsychic

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My partner and I have been toying with the idea of inviting another person into the bedroom for some years now. 

As far as I've been able to tell, even from the very beginning, we've been on the same track.   Basically, whenever we find "the right person", we'd give it a go.  A few weeks ago we met up with friend we only see every few years and the two of them started kissing.   

After a long talk with our friend, I told them that we were very interested.   

This weekend, my partner and I decided this was the right person and we invited them to dinner.  On my way back from the washroom, my partner stopped me and told me that they don’t actually want to share me.   Never have, never will.  

The conversation never happened at dinner and now I don’t know what to tell our friend.  

Help!

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I’m a catch (attractive, smart, got my life in order, fun) so why can’t I find love?
Connect with Suzie The Dating Diva @ www.SingleDatingDiva.com

§ If you haven’t been “caught” yet, then you need to reconsider your “catch” status.

§ NO ONE is a "catch" to everyone they meet. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, as they say, and that isn't truer than it is in dating. Are you a dating catch? To the right person sure you are, to the wrong person, no you're not.

§ So many people feel that because they have a lot of great qualities - looks, education, success, personality, etc - that they are a catch and ANYONE would be lucky to have them. But they remain single and can't find love ... why? It's because of their sense of entitlement.

§ Your dating net should be cast wide. Know what your "must haves" & "deal breakers" in a partner are and keep your options open for everything else. Having a narrow vision makes you miss out on what could be a great experience.

How to find that perfect mutual "catch" situation is to keep dating, keep trying and have a positive attitude and keep your ego in check because you’re only a catch to someone who wants to catch someone like you.

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Dear Matthew,

Got kind of a weird situation that I'm trying to figure out how to deal with.   My wife and I are moving to another city in September and the way the rental market is we've had to start renting an apartment in the new city since June in order to secure an apartment for when we make the move. We've signed a lease and have been paying on time. I was talking to our landlord last night and she mentioned her friend has been staying in the apartment we have leased because his insurance stopped covering the cost of the place he was living.  She’s a sweet lady but it doesn't seem right for us to be paying rent while her friend lives there.   What do we do?

Your TOUGH STUFF questions to [email protected]

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Why are some people always single?   Some advice from www.SingleDatingDiva.com

§ Some people are single because they choose to be and that’s perfectly OK, some, however, really want to be in a relationship but self-sabotage, while others are really trying but can’t seem to catch a break.

§ The REAL reasons most people are single fall into these categories:

1) you make bad dating choices,

2) you engage in unhealthy emotional attachments,

3) you have more baggage than an Kardashian going on vacation,

4) you’re picky,

5) you have a sense of entitlement,

6) you like it in your comfort zone,

7) you have low self esteem or

8) you’re emotionally unavailable.

You need to take a dating break and unpack your dating history and find out what trends and themes keep coming up and then DEAL WITH IT. Is it your ego? Is it your childhood? Is it something else? Whether you need to speak to a therapist or a coach or create a plan on your own, it’s necessary to name it and shame it, then move on.

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