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Dear [email protected]

My son is job hunting. Many resumes have been sent out and he has t heard back from any. 

When will he find / secure a better paying job. 

Thanks Matthew ! 

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Suzie is with use Tuesdays and Thursdays and online at www.SingleDatingDiva.com

Instant chemistry. The “wow factor“. Does it really matter? Well, yes and no.

•Do you need chemistry to make a relationship work? I think it is important, yes. Do you need INSTANT chemistry? No, not necessarily. 

•The problem with the current dating environment is that people are looking for that initial spark, the WOW, the fireworks when they first meet someone. If they don’t feel it then they’ll discount the person completely. I say that is WRONG.

•I’ve at time had instant chemistry and sometimes not. It definitely wasn’t the deciding factor in whether things worked out.

•While you still need to feel some interest, usually chemistry that builds rather than hits you in the face is more sustainable. 

•Good relationships are the product of building a solid foundation of trust, love, honesty, respect, consideration, generosity, passion and attraction. Also, common interests and values. Good relationships are two people walking in the same direction, together, side by side. Everything else is the pretty packaging, including instant chemistry. 

•If people actually made an effort and let go of their unrealistic expectations perhaps there would be more successful relationship out there. Just a thought.

•If there is attraction and a general interest in the person then I think you should give it a shot. Build the chemistry. Those WOW moments will come. 

•Attraction and general interest? yes? No chemistry? No problem. Try it anyway.

•Instant chemistry is overrated, especially the older you get. Stop looking for it and expecting it. It certainly is not a guarantee of relationship success. 

•POST IT NOTE / MANTRA: I will not trust fireworks alone

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Dear [email protected]

I do not know how to get out of my situation. Need to move... rent's too high. 

Things are so negative in my building. 

My personal injury not going ahead. I feel so stuck. 

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Connect with Ottawa's dating expert at www.SingleDatingDiva.com

§ So many people are in these complicated situations where they are the other women or man, they are fully aware and still continue (note that I’m speaking about secret relationships, not open ones)

§ Sometimes they are not even in a relationship but they still keep you secret but either way secret relationships ARE NOT romantic, neither is forbidden love, we are not 12.

§ While you can’t always help who you fall in love with, you can help what you do about it

§ Everyone has their different reasons, it could be ego, it could be love, it could be low self-esteem, or maybe they are everything you ever wanted, your soulmate even but does that make it right?

§ If you aren’t sure if you’re a secret, then ask yourself if they treat you like someone special in their life PUBLICLY then you might just be their "dirty little secret", sorry to say. You already knew that did not you.

§ You deserve better than to be someone's "dirty little secret" or sidepiece. Someone should be proud to be with you.

§ While it is not easy, at some point you have to let go and be true to yourself. Have some self-respect.

POST IT NOTE / MANTRA: I deserve to be in a REAL public relationship

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Your life questions to [email protected]

Hi  Matthew, my husband passed in May. 

I was there at the hospital with  him, and while the doctor was telling me the oxygen deprivation had  already caused severe brain damage, and he wasn’t going to make it, I  was telling him several times to open his eyes if he heard me and he  opened them wide every time. I feel like they were giving up before it  was time. They couldn’t keep his oxygen up, and he quietly passed while  still intubated. I feel so guilty like his opening his eyes was telling  me that he really was in there. I can’t deal with this guilt.   

I have never felt him here with me and I almost feel as though he’s mad  at me. Please help with some answers if you can.   

Love you and all you do!

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What are legitimate dating excuses? Suzie The Dating Diva

www.SingleDatingDiva.com

§ A date cancelled on you the   last minute or, they just cannot be in a relationship right now because they   are not ready, or, they couldn't respond to your text for several days   because something happened … sound familiar?

§ How do you know if their   excuse is legitimate or just an excuse? It is all in the intention.

§ Some common excuses can be:
 - work / life is really busy: no one is THAT busy, people make time / room   for things that are important to them and that’s not you at this time
 - family / friend / work emergency: usually just an excuse, these events are   quite rare, the fact that it happened when they had plans with you is either   just bad luck or a big fat lie
 - sudden illness: while it could be true it’s probably an excuse, something   more interesting came up maybe, you should be able to hear it in their voice
 - car broke down: uh huh, tell them to send you a picture
 - not looking for anything serious right now: everyone will commit to someone   they want to commit to, they’re confirming that they aren’t interested in a   relationship with YOU but might commit to someone who does rock their world   (sorry!)

§ How do you really know? Well,   some excuses are legitimate and if they make new plans with you immediately   and DON’T cancel them then it’s a good sign, if they give you the runaround   then “liar liar pants on fire”

§ Remember, actions, not words   mean everything

§ POST IT NOTE / MANTRA: I will   not believe everything I hear, even if I really want to

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