We traditionally view the act of forgiving as an acceptance or acknowledgement of someone’s wrongdoing against you, a symbolization of your readiness and willingness to move on and grow from the situation, but, SELF-forgiveness is a concept that is just as important.

Whether it is forgiving yourself or someone else, I am sure we can all relate and recall an experience we had with forgiveness. What many of us do not know is that forgiveness is good for our health, as holding grudges ACTUALLY takes a serious physical toll on us. 

“They caused the first wound, but you are causing the rest; this is what not forgiving does. They got it started, but you keep it going. Forgive and let it go, or it will eat you alive. You think they made you feel this way, but when you won’t forgive, you are the one inflicting the pain on yourself.” - Bryant McGill

It may sound selfish, but you need to realize that forgiveness benefits YOU more than anyone or anything. Forgiveness is very much an internal process, it’s more than just exchanging apologies with your friend, ex, or whoever! The truth is, the other person, or people, may never know about your forgiveness. BUT, forgiveness as a mental health practice, as a tool, can lighten the load on your body and on your spirit. 

You’re going to regret not forgiving someone, or not forgiving YOURSELF, later in live. You’ll be upset with yourself because not forgiving prevented you from experience new possibilities, and from sharing more of your journey with the person you never reconciled your differences with.

FORGIVENESS requires action, it doesn’t just magically occur one day after a given amount of time. Forgiveness isn’t easy, that’s why there is actually a practice mental health professionals apply called “forgiveness training,” which is a combination of behavioral therapy and relaxation techniques. If I had to boil down the forgiveness process to a few sweet and simple principles, I’d say Step 1) is VALIDATION, Step 2) is RELEASE and Step 3) is EVOLVE.

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