Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship

#109 - Quiet Quitting a Friendship: Withdrawing From Friends or Ending Friendships with Dr. Miriam Kirmayer


Listen Later

"Quiet quitting" is the latest term for withdrawing from a friendship, phasing out, or disengaging completely. In this episode with the insightful Dr. Miriam Kirmayer, a clinical psychologist in Montreal who specializes in friendship, we discuss why someone might choose the strategy of "quiet quitting" for fading away from a friend.

Let's say you know that a friendship has run its course, but the friend has done nothing wrong. How do we go about distancing from a friend or ending a friendship? How do we process it when we feel a friend withdrawing? How do we negotiate conflict or transitions that are going to come up in many friendships?


Meet Dr. Miriam Kirmayer:

Dr. Miriam Kirmayer is a clinical psychologist, leading friendship expert, and one of the most influential speakers on human connection and social support. Find free friendship resources on her site and follow her on Instagram and LinkedIn.


We discussed:

  • Most people have been on both sides of the "quiet quitting" equation
  • How quiet quitting differs from ghosting
  • When quiet quitting is a good strategy and when it is not
  • Why we are both strongly against using "quiet quitting" to test a friend
  • Friends cannot read our minds!
  • The struggle many people have to initiate plans, but respecting friends' strengths (and not expecting friends to do things exactly the way we do them)
  • Quiet quitting has its place, but it can also be a sign of an inability to have a vulnerable or direct conversation because of a lack of practice or opportunity to do so.
  • Downgrades in friendships vs. dissolutions
  • How to avoid burning a bridge with friends (or old friends)
  • "Quiet quitting works until it doesn't." You might have to be more direct at some point. We discussed some kind ways to do so. 


ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO

📢 This week’s fabulous sponsor + how to purchase ad space on Dear Nina

📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack

❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, the Dear Nina Facebook group

📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question

🔎 Want to work with me or need another link? That’s probably here.




THIS WEEK'S SPONSOR: Download Slowly to make a genuine friendship today. It’s free on the App Store and Google Play.
Download link: https://open.slowly.app/miXL/54lnblyi
...more
View all episodesView all episodes
Download on the App Store

Dear Nina: Conversations About FriendshipBy Nina Badzin

  • 5
  • 5
  • 5
  • 5
  • 5

5

252 ratings


More shows like Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship

View all
Happier with Gretchen Rubin by Gretchen Rubin / The Onward Project

Happier with Gretchen Rubin

12,908 Listeners

Good Life Project by Jonathan Fields / Acast

Good Life Project

3,374 Listeners

10% Happier with Dan Harris by 10% Happier

10% Happier with Dan Harris

12,748 Listeners

Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson by Rick Hanson, Ph.D., Forrest Hanson

Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson

2,512 Listeners

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel by Esther Perel Global Media

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

14,899 Listeners

Best of Both Worlds Podcast by iHeartPodcasts

Best of Both Worlds Podcast

772 Listeners

Totally Booked with Zibby by Zibby Owens

Totally Booked with Zibby

624 Listeners

Life Kit by NPR

Life Kit

4,779 Listeners

The Happiness Lab: Getting Unstuck by Pushkin Industries

The Happiness Lab: Getting Unstuck

14,285 Listeners

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens by Dr. Lisa Damour/Reena Ninan

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens

81 Listeners

IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson by Higher Ground

IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson

13,089 Listeners

We Can Do Hard Things by Treat Media and Glennon Doyle

We Can Do Hard Things

41,527 Listeners

This Is So Awkward by Peoples Media, This Is So Awkward

This Is So Awkward

324 Listeners

Pulling The Thread with Elise Loehnen by Elise Loehnen

Pulling The Thread with Elise Loehnen

1,100 Listeners

Since You Asked with Lori Gottlieb and Gretchen Rubin by Lemonada Media

Since You Asked with Lori Gottlieb and Gretchen Rubin

220 Listeners