New parenthood can be isolating and full of unspoken (or spoken!) pressures. But those early years are not only about the challenges. There are opportunities too! For one, being at a drastically new stage of life is a common time for making friends who are going through similar experiences. I spoke to Alex Reed, a new-ish mom (at least compared to me--a mom for two decades), a tech-industry pro, and the creator behind Roses & Radicchio, an Instagram account and newsletter that celebrates connections that make life meaningful.

Alex and I discussed:

• Practical ways to meet other moms
• Why community is one of the most protective things for perinatal and postpartum mental health
• Staying part of a community matters, even if your close friends do not come from these groups and activities. Acquaintances can become friends, connectors, or lifelines later (school, camps, emergencies).
• Using small, low-cost asks when you spot a potential new mom friend: “I’m going to the park tomorrow, want to join?” Short time windows might feel more doable.
• How to spot a new-mom-friend judgement issue early and stop the comparison cycle
• Accepting different parenting and new-parent socializing styles (turning outward for a bigger network vs turning inward to a small circle)
• The importance of keeping connections with friends who do not have kids
• Remembering social media can amplify shame and false “shoulds”
• AND NOTE: If you’re struggling, community helps but professional support is so important. If you’re worried about postpartum depression or anxiety, seek help.

This isn’t a “you must do X” to make new mom friends conversation. This is all about advice and empathy for a potentially lonely season of life.

 

LINKS & RESOURCES:

• Roses & Radicchio--Alex's Instagram account and newsletter
• A few other parenting episodes on DEAR NINA (mostly aimed at parents with teens): #2. When Your Friend’s Kid is Being Mean to Your Kid; #59. Difficult Teen Friendships & Parent Involvement; #86. Every Friendship Starts With an Act of Bravery; #91. Helping Kids Manage Conflict With Friends; #59. Teaching Kindness Without Forcing Friendships
• Modern Friendship by Anna Goldfarb is a book Alex and I both loved. Anna was also featured on several episodes of Dear Nina, most recently #126.
• "The Search for the Perfect Stroller is Really a Search for Control" (I first had this published in Brain, Child Magazine in 2015 and later re-published in Scary Mommy in 2021.)
• The Peanut app

 

MEET ALEX REED:

Alex is a gathering enthusiast, photographer, tech professional, and toddler mom who brings creativity and connection into everyday life. Outside her day job at a Fortune 50, she runs Roses & Radicchio, a lifestyle Instagram and Substack where she shares approachable tips for elevated entertaining, vintage treasure hunts, food and flower creations, and current reads. Passionate about conversations around adult female friendships, Alex uses her platform to celebrate the connections that make life meaningful. She lives in Northern Virginia, just outside Washington, D.C., with her husband, energetic toddler, and their allergy-prone French bulldog.

ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO

📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina

📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack

❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group

📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question

🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here.

This week's sponsor is Work Flows by Ronna. Email Ronna at [email protected] to book your workshop!

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

What happens when we carry shame into our friendships? How does it keep us apart? How does it connect us deeply to others? I spoke with author Melissa Petro, whose book, SHAME ON YOU: How to Be a Woman in the Age of Mortification, delves into the complex relationship between shame, identity, and connection. Together we explore how unacknowledged shame affects our ability to form deep, meaningful relationships. 

Melissa shares her story of working in the sex industry to beginning a career as a writer and an art teacher in New York City and eventually becoming the subject of public scrutiny in many media headlines. She explains how carrying a “concealable, stigmatized identity” weighed on her and how she learned to navigate the delicate process of sharing her story with potential new friends.

Our conversation touches on the importance of moving beyond shame, why sharing our stories can foster closeness, and how to be a supportive listener when someone else opens up.

HIGHLIGHTS:

• Why unacknowledged shame can create distance in friendships
• Deciding when and how to share personal secrets
• How to respond supportively when friends confide in you
• Moving past labels and seeing friends as multi-dimensional
• Practical ways to foster deeper, more authentic connections

LINKS & RESOURCES:

• Episode 95: “Over Talking, Under Talking and Lessons for Friendship and the Art of Storytelling” (with Micaela Blei)
• Episode 4: “Revealing Too Much Too Soon” (with Christie Tate)

MEET MELISSA PETRO:

Melissa Petro a cultural journalist, book coach, harm reduction activist and author of SHAME ON YOU: How to Be a Woman in the Age of Mortification, published last fall by Putnam Books, a division of Penguin Random House. 

ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO

📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina

📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack

❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group

📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question

🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here.

This week's sponsor is Work Flows by Ronna. Email Ronna at [email protected] to book your workshop!

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

This month’s Dear Nina Friendship Challenge taps into the fresh-start energy of September to help you quiet the inner bully telling you you're awkward or not desired and dial up your inner bestie. I'm joined by Leslie Randolph, certified coach and TEDx speaker, who helps adults, tweens, and teens cultivate self-confidence that sticks. Leslie and I break down self-confidence as a skill (not a genetic lottery prize). We encourage listeners to take courageous action even with fear present. And we discuss practical ways to reframe the stories you tell yourself so you can make and keep adult friendships at any stage of life.

Find a "how to" for September's challenge at dearnina.substack.com.

LINKS & RESOURCES:

• 2025 Dear Nina Friendship Challenge overview
• My guest spot on Leslie's podcast, Why Didn't They Tell Us? ("Friendship and Fitting In")
• Dear Nina episode #115: "The Freshmen Energy Trick For Making New Friends As An Adult"

 

MEET LESLIE RANDOLPH:

Leslie Randolph is a certified life coach committed to helping tweens and teens cultivate self-confidence. Leslie’s approach is rooted in the belief that self-confidence is not a genetic lottery ticket, but a choice you make and a skill you can develop. Her coaching teaches teens how to set meaningful goals, mindfully manage emotions, develop a growth mindset, and talk to and treat themselves with compassion along the way. Leslie’s proven strategies and supportive approach empowers adolescents to ditch doubt and overcome anxiety so they can unlock their true potential.

When not coaching, Leslie is a motivational and TEDx speaker, a workshop facilitator, and the host of Why Didn’t They Tell Us?, an inspirational podcast where she shares the lessons she learned late in life so others can know better . . . sooner.

Learn more at confidencecoachforgirls.com or follow along at The Coach Chronicles on Instagram and Facebook.

 

ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO

📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina

📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack

❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group

📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question

🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here.

This week's sponsor is Work Flows by Ronna. Email Ronna at [email protected] to book your workshop!

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

What should we expect from friends when we launch a new business or creative project like a book or a new company? Bestselling author Jackie Friedland joins me to wrestle with the messy feelings of disappointment, obligation, vulnerability, and gratitude that come with asking friends for support.

Jackie opens up about the rollercoaster of releasing five books—sometimes surrounded by cheering friends and other times left disappointed. We talk about planning events, the strange universe of social media “likes,” asking for reviews, and why acquaintances and strangers sometimes show up more than our closest friends and family.

If you’ve ever felt stung when friends (and family) didn’t show up for your “big thing,” or if you’ve struggled with how much to ask of the people you love, this episode will leave you feeling seen, understood, and maybe a little lighter.

 

WE DISCUSS:

• The gap between the support we hope for from close friends and the support we actually get.
• Why acquaintances and even strangers often step up more than close friends.
• How much “obligation” belongs in friendship when someone is launching a creative or entrepreneurial project.
• The delicate balance between asking for support and fearing you’re being pushy.
• Social media support: why it feels so personal when friends scroll past our posts.
• Practical ways to be direct without being demanding—what you can reasonably ask of friends, and what might be unfair.

LINKS MENTIONED:

• Jackie's newest novel is Counting Backwards
• Find Jackie on Facebook, Instagram, and on her Website
• Dear Nina: The Group on Facebook

 

MEET JACKIE FRIEDLAND:

Jacqueline Friedland is the USA Today and Amazon bestselling author of both historical and contemporary women’s fiction. A graduate of the University of Pennsylvania and NYU Law School, she practiced as a commercial litigator for as long as she could stand it. She then returned to school to earn her Masters of Fine Arts in creative writing from Sarah Lawrence College and has been writing ever since.

Jackie’s books have been awarded the 2020 and 2021 gold medals in fiction from Readers’ Favorite. Her novels have also been named the 2021 Kirkus Reviews Best Indie Book of the Year, the SheReads Best Book Club Pick of 2021, and the Women’s Fiction Writers Association Star finalist for 2022. She regularly reviews fiction for trade publications and appears at schools and other locations as a guest lecturer. Her fifth novel, Counting Backwards, was released by Harper Muse in March 2025.

Jackie lives in Westchester, New York with her husband, four children, and two dogs. You can find her on Instagram @jackiefriedland, on Facebook @JacquelineFriedlandAuthor or through her website www.jacquelinefriedland.com.

 

ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO

📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina

📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack

❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group

📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question

🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here.

This week's sponsor is Work Flows by Ronna. Email Ronna at [email protected] to book your workshop!

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

My dream for "Dear Nina" has always been to make people feel less alone in the messy parts of friendship. Episode #160 was our first-ever LIVE show with 120 people in the room—and wow, you could feel the energy, see the heads nodding, and appreciate the camaraderie of an audience who has experienced the highs and lows of friend groups.

Friend groups are complicated. They can be the source of safety, belonging, and joy. But they can also be a source of exclusion, hurt, and longing. With my assistant producer and friend, Rebekah Jacobs, we dug into the messy, funny, and universal realities of friend groups from middle school cafeterias to mahj tables and even to the dining hall at the assisted living center.

Why do groups feel so good AND so painful? Do you really need one to belong? And how do you help your kids (or yourself) when a group just isn’t working? This episode has laughter, applause, and some tough-but-true advice: go where the love is.

LINKS MENTIONED:

• Dear Nina Newsletter (dearnina.substack.com)
• Facebook: Dear Nina: The Group
• Dr. Lisa Damour on Dear Nina, episode #65
• Gretchen Rubin on Dear Nina, episode #96
• My episode on Leslie Randolph's podcast, "Why Didn't They Tell Us?" episode #63: "Friendships and Fitting In"
• "Is There a Gentle Way to Drop a Friend" episode 156 of the Ask Lisa Podcast
• The final poem I read was from author Amy Weatherly of "Sister, I am With You." It can be found on their Facebook page, here. You can also hear Amy and Jess on Dear Nina, episode #86.

SPECIAL THANK YOU to our North Shore live show sponsors & partners!

🍹 @drinktwistedalchemy – cold-pressed juices at the bar

🥂 @inspirotequila – crafted the signature cocktails

🍰 @glickmanlevyresidential – sponsored the gorgeous dessert bar

👗 @enazboutique – donated 15% of sales to the National Pediatric Cancer Foundation

And thank you to these generous companies for contributing to the swag bags and/or the raffle!

@workflowsbyronna, @dr.julia.milman, @glickmanlevyresidential, @kiddlessports, @lainetoo, @maijamartinphotography, @ohhappydayconfections, @pvolvedeerfield, @get_rootz, @rosshighlandpark, @talacoffeeroasters, @enazboutique

ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO

📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina

📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack

❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group

📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question

🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here.

This week's sponsor is Work Flows by Ronna. Email Ronna at [email protected] to book your workshop!

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

As parents, we all want our kids to be kind, inclusive, and compassionate. But what about when your child simply isn’t interested in a friendship? How do you balance kindness with their right to choose who they spend time with?

This week, I revisit one of my earliest and most-loved conversations with award-winning author Jessica Speer, whose books help kids and tweens navigate the tricky terrain of friendships, including BFF or NRF (Not Really Friends)? and Middle School--Safety Goggles Advised.

This isn’t just a tween and teen conversation. It's about us as parents. Many of us have been on both sides: watching our kids be left out and watching them leave someone else out. And just like in adult friendships, chemistry matters.

Jessica shares practical language for kids to politely say “no,” stories from her own parenting experience (including a birthday party that went sideways from over-inclusion), and the importance of helping kids identify and grow healthy friendships.

If you’ve ever wondered how to raise a kind kid who also has strong boundaries without becoming the parent who micromanages every friendship, this episode is for you.

WE TACKLE:

• Teaching kids to treat others with dignity and warmth without sending the message they must be friends with everyone.
• Understanding “shared spaces” (the lunchroom or a sports team) versus private time (a sleepover or weekend hangout).
• The “romantic relationship” analogy: why we’d never force our kids to date someone they weren’t interested in, but often push friendships in that exact way.
• How to help kids gracefully decline plans without ghosting or hurting feelings unnecessarily.
• Recognizing when our own parental fears--especially about what other parents might think--are driving our actions.
• Why being overly included can backfire, and how too much forced inclusion can prevent kids from finding genuine, mutual friendships.

LINKS & RESOURCES:

• Ep #73: "I'm Just Not Into This Friendship" with guest Ruchi Koval.
• Ask an anonymous question
• "What if My Kid is the Mean One" the August anonymous question on dearnina.substack.com.

 

MEET JESSICA SPEER:

Jessica Speer is the award-winning author of books for kids and teens, including The Phone Book – Stay Safe, Be Smart, and Make the World Better with the Powerful Device in Your Hand, BFF or NRF (Not Really Friends)? A Girls Guide to Happy Friendships and Middle School – Safety Goggles Advised.

Blending social science, stories, and activities, her writing guides readers through tricky stuff that surfaces during childhood and adolescence. She holds a Master’s Degree in Social Sciences and has a knack for writing about complex topics in a way that connects with kids and teens. Jessica regularly contributes to media outlets on content related to kids, parenting, friendship, screens, and social-emotional learning. For more information, visit JessicaSpeer.com and Instagram @jessica_speer_author.

 

ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO

📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina

📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack

❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group

📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question

🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here.

This week's sponsor is Work Flows by Ronna. Email Ronna at [email protected] to book your workshop!

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

The August Friendship Challenge on Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship is all about mixed-age friendships, and I’m grateful to dive into the topic with author Liz Alterman. Her latest novel, Claire Casey’s Had Enough, includes a beautiful friendship between a 46-year-old and a 78-year-old woman, which gave me the perfect reason to talk about why we all need a friend who’s not in our exact age and stage. August's challenge is to seriously consider having an older or younger friend in your life. (This might require a new routine or trying something other than what you're already doing week to week!)

I’ve seen the benefits of intergenerational friendships in my own life. Sometimes I’m the younger friend, sometimes the older one, and both roles come with their own gifts. Liz and I talk about what it’s like to build and nurture these relationships.

HIGHLIGHTS:

• Why mixed-age friendships can be a game changer
• How Liz’s own intergenerational friendship with author Susan Roane (of How to Work a Room fame) and poet, Melissa Elder, influenced her work and her life
• The push-and-pull of being the older or younger friend in a dynamic, and what each side uniquely brings to the table
• How to meet someone not in your age bracket (hint: try something new, say yes more often, and follow the chemistry)
• 💡My biggest takeaway from this episode? You’re not going to meet a mixed-age friend by doing the same old things. You have to get out of your comfort zone, try something new, and follow the chemistry—then be brave enough to make a move.

LINKS & RESOURCES:

• The May Friendship Challenge: The Power of Changing the Venue
• 2025 Dear Nina Friendship Challenge overview

MEET LIZ ALTERMAN:

Liz Alterman is the author of the award-winning memoir Sad Sacked and multiple thrillers. Her romcom Claire Casey's Had Enough includes an intergenerational friendship in which a forty-six-year-old and a seventy-eight-year-old inspire one another to remember the women they once were and the dreams they still hope to fulfill. Liz's essays and reported pieces have appeared in The New York Times, The Washington Post, Business Insider and more. She notes that while writing hasn't brought her fame or fortune, it's filled her life with enriching friendships that span generations. For more, visit her website and follow Liz on Instagram at @lizalterman.

ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO

📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina

📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack

❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group

📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question

🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here.

This week's sponsor is Work Flows by Ronna. Email Ronna at [email protected] to book your workshop!

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Amy Blumenfeld was in 8th grade when she was diagnosed with Hodgkin lymphoma. While the medical story is remarkable on its own (including Amy becoming the first adolescent with Hodgkin lymphoma to have an autologous bone marrow transplant at Memorial Sloan Kettering in NYC), what stayed with her deeply was how her community showed up for her family. Just one example: a group of friends and synagogue families created a full-length skit video—Amy Night Live—to lift her spirits during isolation. Her community's love, support, and generosity became the emotional backdrop of her storytelling and work for years to come.

We talk about:

• How Amy’s real-life community inspired the fictional community and circle of friends in her debut novel The Cast
• The ripple effect of early illness on friendships, families, and even future partners, careers, and children
• How illness can reshape your view of who matters and why
• Amy's second novel, Such Good People, which explores childhood friendship and loyalty against the backdrop of the criminal justice system
• The complexities of loyalty when friends and family need you at the same time

This conversation ties closely to my upcoming Dear Nina live event in Highland Park, Illinois, which will raise money for the National Pediatric Cancer Foundation. In the introduction of the episode I mention losing my nephew Joshua McFadden to DIPG, a form of brain cancer, in 2017. A portion of ticket sales and 15% of all sales at ENAZ stores on 7/31/25 (not just in Highland Park!) will go to this important cause.

LINKS & RESOURCES:

• Joshua's story on NPCF's site
• My episode with brother-in-law (and my first podcast producer!), Dave Dluger
• Amy's books: The Cast and Such Good People

MEET AMY BLUMENFELD:

Amy Blumenfeld is an award-winning author and journalist. She is a graduate of Barnard College of Columbia University and received a master’s degree from the Columbia University School of Journalism. Her articles and essays have appeared in various publications including the New York Times, The Huffington Post, O, The Oprah Magazine, as well on the cover of People. Amy’s debut novel, The Cast, was selected as a New York Post Best Book of the Week. She has contributed to three non-fiction books, including a USA TODAY bestselling anthology. Amy lives in New York with her husband and daughter. Such Good People is her second novel. Find Amy on Instagram @AmyBlumenfeldAuthor.

ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO

📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina

📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack

❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group

📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question

🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here.

This week's sponsor is Work Flows by Ronna. Email Ronna at [email protected] to book your workshop!

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

It’s the four-year anniversary of Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship! Whether you’ve been with me from the column that began in 2014, started with the first episode in 2021, stumbled in at episode 86, or you're new around here at #156—thank you. Thank you for caring about friendship on a deep level and for helping this podcast grow into something that’s helped me (and hopefully you) navigate the joys and messes of adult friendship.

In this solo episode, I’m marking four years of Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship with the four major lessons I’ve learned about friendship from hosting the show—and four lessons I’ve learned about podcasting along the way.

And a special to thank you to my many fantastic guests!

🎁 Anniversary Favor 🎁

If Dear Nina has helped you in any way—big or small—please share your favorite episode with a friend or on social media. It’s the best way to keep the conversations going, and it means the world to me.

ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO

📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina

📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack

❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group

📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question

🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here.

This week's sponsor is Work Flows by Ronna. Email Ronna at [email protected] to book your workshop!

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

After 31 years on the East Coast, Lisa Giordano decided (less than a year ago) to make a big move to Austin, Texas, with zero local contacts and a personal challenge to build a community and social life from scratch. In this upbeat conversation, Lisa tells us what really works (and what does not) when you’re starting over single in a brand-new city—or simply trying to make new friends right where you've lived for years. 

WHAT WE COVER:

• Admitting you want friends: Why naming the need out loud is the best thing to do.
• DMs & daily errands: The social media message and the post-office line that sparked Lisa’s first new friendships.
• The “one-plan” weekend rule: A realistic guardrail against both isolation and social burnout.
• Why nearby beats “perfect”: How living a few miles apart can matter more than instant chemistry.
• Mixed age friendships: The benefits of friendships with people in similar life stages but different ages.
• When you don't click: Not taking things too personally is essential to moving forward and finding new potential friends.
• Solo time as a skill: Creating intentional solo time so your happiness isn’t dependent on anyone else's schedule.
• It's never too late to make new friends: I shared a story about my mom's recent 80th birthday party.

 

LINKS & RESOURCES:

• My episode on Lisa's podcast, Surthriving
• Episode #130 with Hallie Sawyer on "Sober Curiosity"
• Episode #115 on "Freshmen Energy" and making new friends as an adult
• Lisa on Instagram and TikTok

MEET LISA GIORDANO:

After living in the northeast for all of her life, Lisa took a leap of faith at the age of 31 and moved cross country to Austin, Texas, without knowing anyone. Filling her car to the brim and driving across the country with her cat, she embarked on a new journey and decided to document it along the way. Lisa is a typical single 30-something building a life she thrives in. She makes lifestyle content and documents navigating her 30s, starting over, solo life, life in Austin, and anything else that inspires her! Find her on Instagram and TikTok and on her podcast, Surthriving.

ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO

📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina

📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack

❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group

📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question

🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here.

This week's sponsor is Work Flows by Ronna. Email Ronna at [email protected] to book your workshop!

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands