One of the most common questions I receive from parents is this: How do I know if my child’s behavior is due to their disability or if they are doing it on purpose? 

Because our neurodivergent children present with skill weaknesses that occur internally, like those related to emotional dysregulation and executive functioning, when they are asked to do something they don’t have the capacity for at the moment, the first sign of distress is often avoidance or an emotional meltdown. But consider this: We would never discipline a child with a broken leg for not running a race. So, once we understand that our child’s behavior is not a choice, but rather a stress response related to the overwhelm of the situation, we support them rather than discipline them. But, there are still times when children need limits to learn how to stay safe and become independent. So, how can we tell the difference? 

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