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It’s Valentine’s Day, like it or not. To celebrate, Nancy and Sarah brought on Dan Savage, the most influential sex expert of the past 30 years, and he did not disappoint! Savage is the man behind the long-running Savage Love column and its audio sibling, the Savage Lovecast, but he’s no longer with The Stranger, the Seattle-based alt-weekly he ran for a long time (and there’s a story behind that).

Savage came on to offer a counter-argument for polyamory after listening to our recent pod on the subject. The conversation that followed is a banger. Also discussed:

* Welcome to all our new Sam Harrises!

* Valentine’s Day rule #1: No flash mob proposals!

* Savage is a pothead?

* How a cultural firebrand writing about dildos became The Man

* Savage does not do dick jokes on command

* “The Tear Veto”

* Sarah wonders if she’s a conservative, and also what does that mean?

* Neologisms of Dan Savage: “monogamish,” “tolyamorous,” “pegging”

* We never talk about the relationships saved by non-monogamy

* Why poly-prosthelytizers are the worst

* Sorry, kids: Polyamory is not an orientation

* The good ole days when straight men went to gay men for blowjobs …

* Nancy learns the term “down-low”

* Marriage for women up until the Seventies: Musical chairs meets Squid Game

* Of course your wife wants to fuck her personal trainer!

* “Sexual desire and lust are chaos agents”

* Are men and women ultimately sexually incompatible?

* Watching trash TV with your husband’s boyfriend

* Dan Savage, how was your #MeToo?

* Asking for what you want in bed: You gotta do it!

* Why gay men are better at sex (not because they’re magic)

Plus, the reason Savage watches True Detective, a collective disappointment over Capote vs. The Swans, and how straight people can vastly improve their sex lives with four magic words.