From time to time, everyone struggles with biting the bait. And usually the people we feel most baited by are the people we care about the most. But there’s really no benefit to biting the bait, especially if we want to stay connected. Today, I’ll dig into what exactly bait is, and share 11 ways to avoid biting it.

Biggest Takeaways From Episode #95:

• The dictionary definition of bait causes us to focus on the wrong thing in interpersonal reactions: the other person’s intent. Instead, think of bait as your internal experience to what another person says or does (or doesn’t say or do).
• The eight phrases that I shared in my episode on how to keep the peace during the holidays all work when you’re feeling baited. A fantastic all-purpose response is to simply say, “I hear you.” 
• A helpful response when you’re feeling baited is to repeat the other person’s statement or question. Another option is to amplify what the other person said if it was negative.
• Finally, humor can be one of the most effective strategies for dealing with bait.

 

Highlights from Episode #95:

• Vicki welcomes listeners to today’s episode, which is all about how not to bite the bait. [00:39]
• We hear about Vicki’s upcoming special live event for podcast listeners. There, she’ll answer previous questions from listeners. [03:24]
• What is bait? Vicki explains why the dictionary definition is problematic in this context. [04:45]
• Vicki digs into the benefits of focusing on being baited as your own experience instead of someone else’s intention. [10:32]
• We hear about the first few of 11 potential responses to use when you feel baited. [13:47]
• Vicki shares the rest of the potential responses, including a standalone “ouch.” [18:47]
• Vicki adds three more tools, specifically for when you’re feeling baited. [23:51]
• We hear a quick recap of the 11 ways that you can respond when you’re feeling baited. [32:39]

 

Links and Resources:

• Vicki Tidwell Palmer
• Clarity Circle 
• Moving Beyond Betrayal by Vicki Tidwell Palmer
• 5-Step Boundary Solution Clarifier
• Vicki Tidwell Palmer on Instagram
• Pia Mellody
• Beyond Bitchy Podcast | Episode #74: 8 Phrases to Help You Keep the Peace During the Holidays
• Laura Doyle