In this week's podcast we look at pre-holiday behavior spikes through a problem-solving lens. Instead of “How do we punish this?” we ask, “What skill is missing?” She models restorative conversations, shares reflection tools that build self-awareness, and walks through calm-down strategies that help students regulate before you problem-solve.

Key takeaways

• Behavior = communication. Shift from “what’s wrong with the student?” to “what’s happening for the student?”
• Use restorative approaches: understand harm, take responsibility, repair relationships, restore trust.
• Reflection > reaction: guided behavior reflection sheets connect thoughts, feelings, needs, and next steps.
• Regulation first: you can’t consequence a child into calm; teach calming tools, then problem-solve.
• Mindset shift: connection before correction; growth over guilt.

Try-it-now tools

Restorative questions:

• What happened? • What were you thinking/feeling? • Who was affected & how? • What makes it right? • What will you do next time?

Behavior Reflection prompts:

• Trigger • Feeling • Need • Better choice next time • Who to repair with & how (what a real apology looks/sounds like).

Calm-down strategies:

• Square/5-finger breathing, grounding (5–4–3–2–1), movement/water break, sensory tools (rings, stress balls), feelings check-ins/thermometers.

Scenario highlight

• “Jayden in the line”: Instead of office + lecture, Carol uses a brief restorative chat/circle + reflection sheet to move from guilt to growth and repair.

Counselor moves to start this week

1. Model restorative conversations (skip “Why did you do that?”).
2. Teach emotion language (feeling wheels, visuals, daily check-ins).
3. Build a Behavior Reflection Toolkit for you and teachers.

Quote to remember

“Punishment might stop the behavior, but it doesn’t heal what’s underneath. Problem-solving does.”

Connect

• Follow Carol on IG: @counselingessentials
• Share what’s in your calm-down kit and tag the show!

Think Sheets

Grab the Show Notes: Counselingessentials.org/podcast

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Connect with Carol:

• TpT Store
• Counseling Essentials Website
• Instagram
• Facebook
• Elementary School Counselor Exchange Facebook Group
• Caught In The Middle School Counselors Facebook Group
• High School Counselor Connection Facebook Group

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