Meghan Keane, author of Party of One: Be Your Own Best Life Partner, says one of the top complaints single people have about their married friends is that they feel like a problem to be solved. Another is that their dating lives are the sole focus of a married friend’s attention. Meghan joins me to unpack “singlism,” the subtle (and not-so-subtle) ways society sidelines single adults. We discuss concrete steps couples can use to include their single friends, the reality of friendship after life transitions, and good basic social kindnesses everyone can use for ALL of their friendships. Whether you’re partnered or single, this conversation will sharpen your friendship skills and remind you that friends like to be asked about all aspects of their lives (not just their dating lives, their "mom life," their careers, and so on).

HIGHLIGHTS

• How singlism, a term coined by Dr. Bella DePaulo, is often based in myths and harmful stereotypes
• Why singleness isn't something to be solved by a partnered friends
• Rules for married/partners friends when it comes to their single friends (don't treat dating life as entertainment, help with mundane life tasks, celebrate accomplishments, hang out one on one, include in larger plans).
• Why working through conflict is a sign of a deep friendship
• What married people can learn from single people about maintaining strong social ties

LINKS & RESOURCES

• Meghan's book, Party of One: Be Your Own Best Life Partner
• Find Meghan on Instagram @damekeane
• We referred to previous Dear Nina episodes with Dr. Marisa Franco, Gretchen Rubin, and Ruchi Koval

MEET MEGHAN KEANE

Meghan Keane is the founder and supervising editor for NPR's Life Kit, which brings listeners advice and actionable information about personal finances, health, parenting, relationships and more. She is responsible for the editorial vision of Life Kit, which aims to serve NPR's larger mission of public service. Prior to founding Life Kit, Keane was a producer for NPR's award winning podcast Invisibilia. There, she produced long form stories about understanding human behavior and the invisible forces that shape our lives. She reported stories about the intersection of positivity, grief, and Disneyland and another story about a woman obsessed with her daydream world. Keane is also a founding producer of NPR's TED Radio Hour, which has consistently been one of NPR's top podcasts since its debut. Keane holds a B.S. journalism degree from Emerson College and is a native of the Washington, D.C. area.

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Special thank you, as always, to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs!