In this episode, I lie down with my housemate Tiger.

Tiger goes by many names, but we'll only use two of them here. Tiger is a Professional Cuddler, or, Cuddlist. Her cuddling name is Ellen. You can find her on Cuddlist.com.

She's also a reiki practitioner, a trained yoga instructor, a comedian (check out "The Comedy Witch"), and a cats fanatic. That's the Andrew Lloyd Webber musical theatre version of cats, to be clear. In lieu of performing in the actual musical, Tiger cosplays regularly as feline, and soon plans to host Cat Cuddling events at Hacienda Studio, in which the cats are actually humans in full cat costume because "you could cuddle real cats, but they're unreliable."

She writes and performs funny songs, and last year I saw her in an hour-long one-ish-woman show entitled "Kiss Me, I'm Jew-witch." She sang about celebrity sex dreams and her period. Her parents were there. It was pretty amazing. Tiger is the closest thing I have at this point to a sister. We have deep talks in the kitchen, during which we usually quote the title of her yet-to-be written inspirational memoir, "Breakthrough Junkie." She scrapes me up off the floor when I need it and texts me that there are Puffins in her cabinet for a late-night snack, when I don't. I love her. I hope you will.

Come lie down with us.

More horizontality, please:

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Credit where credit is:

Horizontal's badass theme music was created by Alan Markley, on Instagram as @plasticcannons.

It's saucy cover art was designed and illustrated by Shana Shay. Hire Shana for character illustration and graphic design through 99designs.

Horizontal was mixed and mastered by Owen Muir of Self-Disclosure productions, right here in Brooklyn, New York. Stay tuned for Owen's own podcast, Self-Disclosure, a show where people talk openly for the first time about their own experiences with mental health. You can find Owen on Twitter at @psychdisclosure

To sign up for the horizontal show notes, exclusive subscriber content, sexy vocabulary words (really!) and sensual horizontal photos, head to horizontalwithlila.com