Do you have a good relationship with yourself? Viv Groskop talks to psychotherapist and author Julia Samuel about how hard it is to own the room and relate well to others if you don't relate well to yourself. She talks about how our family history affects our confidence and how we are all haunted by the untold stories, the pain passed down through families. Julia reveals the "shame spiral" she herself experienced after appearing on the BBC's Desert Island Discs. And she explains the secret of instilling confidence in our children.

You can find out more about Julia on her website and buy her latest book, Every Family Has a Story: How We Inherit Love and Loss

A new updated edition of Viv's book, How to Own the Room is out now.

@vivgroskop