In the middle of May, I went in for what I thought was just a routine weekly ultrasound, but there were some significant concerns about the baby’s movements/activity.

Within an hour, they were prepping me for the very real possibility of a c-section that day. (Starting steroid shots, no eating/drinking, admitting me to the hospital, etc.)

I was by myself and it felt very surreal. So many things to process all at once. So many details to try to work out. And so much concern for our sweet baby.

This whole pregnancy has been a real test of faith and endurance for me. There have been many unexpected bumps in the road. Many things I’ve never experienced (so much bleeding and spotting, so much more nausea, low-lying placenta, the possibility of placenta previa, transverse baby, fibroids, etc.).

Over and over again, I’ve had to stop and release my desire for control and my need to have a plan. It’s required me to continually open up my hands and say, “God, help me to trust You and walk by faith — even though there is so much uncertainty for what the future holds.”

By the grace of God (and many answers to prayer!), baby started moving much more normally and after 24 hours of monitoring + a lot more testing, I got to go home from the hospital to keep the baby inside for a few more weeks. (My OB and specialist believe baby was just in a really deep sleep cycle during the initial ultrasound but we are monitoring and testing very closely to make sure baby continues to move/act normally and not in distress).

I don’t know what the future holds for this pregnancy. Our goal is for me to make it to my scheduled induction at 39 weeks (just two more weeks!). But I’m just living one day, one week at a time right now — seeking to make the most of it, continuing to release my desire for control to the One Who knows the end from the beginning.

We never know what a day might hold, but I’m grateful to know the One Who holds the whole world in His hands.

Jesse and I sat down and recorded a podcast about this experience sharing more details, things we learned, blessings in the middle of it, and also what you can expect for the next two months for the podcast. Click on the link above to listen to it.

P.S Thank you to @kathrynnepaine for staying the night at the hospital with me so Jesse could be at home with our littles! And to @isabel.nestor for coming to keep us company!

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