That Hoarder: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding

#196 Trusting our future selves to be resourceful with Dr Jan Eppingstall

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    • This episode, I’m joined by Dr Jan Eppingstall to talk about why so many of us who hoard struggle to trust our future selves to cope without keeping everything “just in case.”

    We get into how doubts about our own resourcefulness and fears about scarcity keep us stuck, and share practical ways to build confidence in our ability to handle whatever comes next.

    If you’ve ever worried you won’t manage without every single spare part or backup item, this conversation’s for you.

    • Trusting Our Future Selves to Be Resourceful
    • The psychological struggle of believing in one’s ability to cope without keeping everything
    • Personal anecdotes from the host about surprise resourcefulness
    • Exploration of cognitive distortions surrounding trust in future adaptability
    • Resourcefulness in Hoarding Behaviour
    • Contradiction: Resourceful justifications for keeping items vs. fear of not being resourceful if they’re discarded
    • The role of loss aversion and catastrophic scarcity thinking
    • Imagining multiple uses for broken items versus inability to visualise coping without them
    • The ‘Just in Case’ Myth
    • Reading and analysis of Ru Kotryna’s Instagram post on ‘just in case’ keeping
    • Discussion of how this reflects distrust in future self
    • Emotional impacts: fear of change, sufficiency, and facing the future without backup
    • How Distrust in Future Selves Manifests in Hoarding
    • ‘Insurance hoarding’ and duplicate/back-up keeping
    • Information hoarding for fear of forgetting needed details
    • Emotional insecurity and sense of powerlessness
    • Host’s personal examples (nature as a self-soothing tool and fear of its impermanence)
    • Navigating Ephemerality and Change
    • Conversation about the fleeting nature of things and the difficulty in accepting impermanence
    • Reflection on attempts to freeze time by hoarding
    • Behaviours and Thoughts Stemming from Lack of Self-Trust
    • Executive function issues (planning, organisation, working memory)
    • Trauma and past experiences of genuine scarcity
    • Shame and immediate anxiety-reduction through keeping
    • Avoidance and ‘comfort objects’ as safety strategies
    • Psychological Mechanisms Behind ‘I Don’t Trust Future Me’
    • Discontinuity between current and future self
    • Impact of ADHD and perimenopause on executive functioning and time perception
    • Cognitive gaps between imagining needs and recalling/locating stored things
    • Irony of ‘preparedness’ leading to greater unpreparedness
    • Building Trust in Future Resourcefulness
    • The value of journalling resourceful moments
    • Small experiments: let go of duplicates and record how needs are met afterward
    • Reviewing past examples of having coped or improvised successfully
    • Consumerism and the Illusion of Solutions
    • Attraction to gadgets and solutions for perceived problems
    • The sunk cost fallacy and struggles to let go
    • Owning up to aspirational or impulse purchases and being flexible in letting go if they don't work
    • Scarcity Thinking and Its Long-Term Effects
    • Personal stories of genuine scarcity and the enduring fear it creates
    • How fear of not having enough directs attention to objects as solutions, rather than inner resourcefulness
    • Difficulty breaking the object-focused habit even after circumstances change
    • Breaking the Pattern: Psychological Approaches in Therapy
    • Building evidence of existing skills and resourcefulness
    • Addressing deeper self-worth issues and messages from childhood
    • The importance of social connections, seeking help, and curiosity
    • The Power and Pitfall of Backup Systems
    • Possessions as emotional and practical backup
    • Drawback: Items often become inaccessible or forgotten
    • The paradox of keeping as “preparation” that often fails in practice due to volume and executive dysfunction
    • Strengthening Connection with Future Self
    • Using ACT techniques and self-compassion
    • Treating your future self like a friend and planning for their needs
    • Internal monologues about preparing spaces and making life easier for future-you
    • Alternative Pathways to Security and Preparedness
    • Community and social resource sharing (borrowing, lending among friends/family)
    • Developing adaptability, self-confidence, and skills rather than accumulating more items
    • Experimenting with minimalism and embracing uncertainty
    • Actionable Steps for Building Trust in Resourcefulness
    • Saying “I’ll figure it out when I need to”
    • Experimenting with running out of non-critical supplies
    • Documenting and reflecting on resourceful problem-solving
    • Letting go of low-risk items and noticing outcomes
    • The reminder that listeners have survived all past problems resourcefully
    • Encouragement to recognise and trust personal growth and capabilities
    • Emphasis on learning, adaptability, and present-focused living

      • Links

      • The Ru Kotryna Instagram post that inspired this episode
      • Podcast ep 183: ADHD, executive dysfunction and creating hacks and systems to reduce clutter chaos, with Carrie Lagerstedt
      • Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom session: Accountability Booking Form
      • Dr Jan Eppingstall at Stuffology
      • https://www.facebook.com/stuffologyconsulting/
      • https://twitter.com/stuff_ology
      • https://www.instagram.com/stuff_ology/
      • Dr Jan Eppingstall on Pinterest
      • Website: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding
      • Become a Dehoarding Darling
      • Submit a topic for the podcast to cover
      • Questions to ask when dehoarding: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podquestions
      • Instagram: @thathoarderpodcast
      • Twitter: @ThatHoarder
      • Mastodon: @[email protected]
      • TikTok: @thathoarderpodcast
      • Facebook: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder
      • Pinterest: That Hoarder
      • YouTube: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder
      • Reddit: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder subreddit
      • Help out: Support this project
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