March 07, 2023

198: Rachel A. revisits

1 hour 18 minutes

🔸 Worthlessness parts came up as result of last call. We talk about our work together, and concerns about public Discord conversations, then attempt to go to it, but "beating myself up" keeps coming in.

🔹 Part (Location, Fear, Rather be doing, Age, Needs):

"Beating self up"

Afraid she'll go along with others' decision, not take care of herself

Thinks she's 12?

Needs Rachel's presence, and for her to take care of herself

🎓 What I'd like to do differently:

I found the message Rachel was referring to in Discord and added a clarification for anyone else who would see it.

I sent Rachel a voice message apologizing, and explaining the intention behind what I wrote, why I chose those words. I also discussed it with a mentor.

The first half of the call is tricky for me, not because I have so many parts up, but because I have no clear "IFS protocol" to address it. I tried to stay faithful to the fundamentals: get in self, help people do the same to work with their parts.

I wish I said "so do you want to work with that part?" instead of philosophizing about it. I also could have asked her explicitly to use parts language sooner, but I had some concern about triggering that exile.

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