A Blog To Watch Weekly

199. A Planet Ocean That Is Not Blue, Watch Chime Anti-Climax, And Bullying A Watch AI


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This week’s episode begins with a hearty round of “clappage” for a €1,500 Omega dial book that looks like it was assembled during mandatory arts and crafts time, with hand glued pages, candlelit workshops, and enough fumes to convince someone this was a good idea, sparking what becomes the Watch Chime Anti Climax saga as the guys marvel at how brands keep uninventing printing and romanticizing hand binding as if the entire history of modern machines never happened. That sends everyone straight into “Planet Ocean Blue Gate”, where Omega’s new Planet Ocean looks wildly blue in every promotional image yet is not blue at all, causing David to question reality, Ariel to ask why the images tell lies, Ripley to declare that they blew it themselves, and Rick to desperately try and fail to summon an Omega customer service advisor like he is attempting contact with the spirit realm. From the wide lugs to the disappearing helium escape valve to center links polished so perfectly you can literally watch your own disappointment reflected back at you, the team analyzes every confusing detail before wandering into a discussion about bullying a watch AI, especially once Ariel introduces the completely radioactive looking G Shock that feels like something an AI would choose to wear specifically to unsettle humans. They wrap with praise for Dubai Watch Week and Ariel’s recounting of a brilliant HBO watch cameo featuring a fake Submariner and even faker watch guy dialogue, sealing this episode as a perfect mix of misleading marketing, glossy regret, chime-related frustration, and the ongoing psychological torment of any artificial intelligence unfortunate enough to wade into the world of watches.


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