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I've spoken to quite a bit lately about intellectualizing my feelings as opposed to actually feeling them.

Even though I consider myself pretty in touch with my emotions. I'm sensitive and I feel deeply, there's still this disconnect between my mind and body.

And the more I've been leaning into this nervous system healing work, the more I'm becoming aware of the different states that I've been in. Not just throughout my day, but in whole periods of my life, where I've been predominantly in one state.

There are 1 of 3 states your nervous system could be in and the more I've been consciously aware of these states, the more I’ve been looking back and recognizing periods of time where I've been predominantly in one.

Especially functional freeze during pockets of more traumatic periods of my life.

If you’re stuck in functional freeze… you might be feeling dissociated, on autopilot where your body is there going through the motions, you're still doing all the things, holding your job, taking the kids to and from school, cooking dinner, doing the laundry, but where your mind is not there.

* This isn't a bad thing.

* We're not doing something wrong.

* We can hold so much shame that we're doing something wrong if we're dysregulated or we're in any other state besides ventral.

* And it's just not true.

Our body is literally protecting us. It's trying to keep us safe. And so I feel like:

* The softer, we can be.

* The more curious we can become about these different states.

* The more educated we can become about what our body needs when we're in these different states of the nervous system.

* To bring ourselves out of fight or flight or functional freeze which basically means: anxiety or people pleasing or overwhelm.

In order to bring ourselves out of these states, we need to know the types of tools that our nervous system is going to respond to.

If you're feeling overwhelmed, disassociated, and struggling with procrastination in that functional freeze state, then these are specific tools that are going to support you in getting back into your body. Helping you feel more present, connected and regulated.

Give them a try and let me know what you think.

Guided self-regulation sessions are part of my paid ADHD mom’s community here on Substack. Want to dip your toes into self-regulation? Start with my free post here.

Ready to dive deeper? Join us in this safe space where neurodivergent moms raising neurodivergent kids learn to self-regulate and reparent themselves in community.

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