Birthdays are weird when you've spent your whole life waiting for a different version of yourself to show up.

The organized one. The consistent one. The one who isn't always overwhelmed. The one who finally gets her shit together and somehow stays that way.

In ADHD Women and the Person We Thought We’d Be by Now, Jess and Jeannine are both celebrating birthdays and looking at all the women they thought they'd have become by this point.

For Jeannine, that gets personal.

Before her late ADHD diagnosis, there was always a future Jeannine coming. She'd try harder. Be less emotional. Be more organized. Follow through. Become easier to live with. And maybe then she'd finally earn the right to have needs, set boundaries and take up some damn space.

Except that woman wasn't only a goal. She was a promise that someday everything would be easier.

So what happens when an ADHD diagnosis makes you question whether she was ever supposed to exist?

Jess and Jeannine talk about ADHD masking, inconsistent capacity, the grief that can follow a late ADHD diagnosis, relationships, the exhausting promise to “try harder,” and those glorious weeks when your brain cooperates long enough to convince you that you've finally cracked the code.

Because maybe the most important question isn't why you never became the woman you thought you'd be.

Who did you become while you were so busy looking for her?

Some sounds are annoying. And then there are the sounds your ADHD brain grabs onto and absolutely refuses to release.

In ADHD Noise Rage: Why Certain Sounds Make ADHD Women So Angry, Jess and Jeannine talk about what happens when breathing, pen clicking, background conversations, a neighbor upstairs, or somebody else's phone suddenly becomes the only sound your brain can hear.

They get into the difference between noise rage and misophonia, why two people can hear the same sound and experience it completely differently, and the particular kind of resentment that shows up when someone could stop making the noise but doesn't. There are stolen pens, strangers breathing too loudly, accidental eavesdropping, screaming babies that somehow aren't the problem, and the mystery of needing a fan to sleep when noise is supposedly the enemy.

But noise rage isn't always only about the noise. For ADHD women, a sound that suddenly feels impossible to tolerate can also say something about stress, overwhelm, masking, sensory overload, and how much capacity you have left that day.

Sometimes it's not the sound that changed. Your capacity did.

S2 E2 When ADHD Girls Become ADHD Women | Louise Belshaw | Part 2

What happens when the girls whose ADHD was missed grow up?

In Part 2 of this special two-part conversation, Jess and Jeannine, certified ADHD life coaches and co-hosts of Angry on the Inside, continue their discussion with Louise Belshaw ADHD life coach, researcher, and former Head of Department with more than 25 years in education about what happens after a late ADHD diagnosis.

Together they explore the grief, anger, self-discovery, and healing that often follow finally understanding yourself through a new lens. Louise shares insights from her research on late-diagnosed women, what she's learned coaching neurodivergent teenagers, and why genuine curiosity not assumptions is one of the most powerful tools adults can offer young people.

In this episode, we discuss:

• The grief and anger many women experience after a late ADHD diagnosis

Connect with Louise Belshaw

If this conversation resonated with you, be sure to connect with Louise Belshaw. Louise is an ADHD life coach who specializes in supporting neurodivergent young people and is passionate about improving understanding of ADHD in girls and women through coaching, education, research, and advocacy.

Learn more, connect with Louise, or follow her work here:

🌐 Website: Louise Belshaw The ADHD Teacher

Jess and Louise also discuss musicians YUNGBLUD and Professor Green, and how honest public conversations around mental health, neurodivergence, and advocacy can help young people feel seen in ways many of us never experienced growing up.

Whether you're newly diagnosed, questioning your own experiences, raising a neurodivergent child, or simply trying to better understand the women and girls in your life, this conversation is a reminder that understanding begins with curiosity.

Episode 1 of Louise's interview is available now wherever you listen to podcasts.

#ADHD #ADHDWomen #LateDiagnosis #LateDiagnosedADHD #WomenWithADHD #Perimenopause #Neurodivergent #ExecutiveFunction #JusticeSensitivity #RSD #ADHDParenting #ADHDCoach #AngryOnTheInsidePodcast

Why are so many girls with ADHD still being missed?

In the Season 2 premiere of Angry on the Inside, Jess and Jeannine welcome their very first guest, ADHD life coach & researcher Louise Belshaw, for Part 1 of a powerful two-part conversation about the girls who grew up feeling misunderstood.

Drawing from her research on women diagnosed with ADHD in adulthood, Louise shares the common themes that emerged again and again: perfectionism, friendship struggles, puberty, masking, emotional overwhelm, and the moment everything seemed to change. Together, they explore why so many girls were labeled as "difficult," "dramatic," or "not trying hard enough" instead of being asked a much more important question:

"What's really going on?"

This conversation goes beyond ADHD symptoms. It's about the emotional cost of being missed, the lifelong impact of late diagnosis, and why curiosity from parents, teachers, and other trusted adults can change a girl's future.

Whether you're a late-diagnosed woman with ADHD, parenting a neurodivergent child, working in education, or trying to better understand the girls in your life, this episode offers an honest conversation filled with insight, compassion, and hope.

In this episode, we discuss:

Connect with Louise Belshaw

If this conversation resonated with you, be sure to connect with Louise Belshaw. Louise is an ADHD life coach who specializes in supporting neurodivergent young people and is passionate about improving understanding of ADHD in girls and women through coaching, education, research, and advocacy.

Learn more, connect with Louise, or follow her work here:

🌐 Website: Louise Belshaw The ADHD Teacher

This is Part 1 of a two-part conversation with Louise Belshaw.

Part 2 drops this Thursday, where the conversation shifts from the girls who were missed to what happens when those girls become women. Together, we explore late diagnosis, grief, anger, self-discovery, and what it means to finally understand yourself through an entirely different lens.

If this episode reminds you of a girl who needed more understanding and fewer assumptions or someone who still does share it with them.

ADHD Women & Burnout | Why Rest Doesn't Make You Feel Better

If you've ever taken a day off, slept all weekend, or gone on vacation only to come back feeling just as exhausted, this episode is for you.

In this episode, Jess and Jeannine explore ADHD burnout in late-diagnosed women and why it feels so different from typical burnout. They discuss the invisible mental load of executive function, masking, emotional regulation, chronic stress, and why simply getting more sleep or taking a break often doesn't restore the kind of exhaustion many neurodivergent women experience.

Together, they unpack why your brain can keep working long after your body has stopped, what happens when the coping strategies you've relied on for years suddenly stop working, and why so many women mistake ADHD burnout for laziness, aging, or simply "not trying hard enough."

Whether you're feeling emotionally exhausted, overwhelmed by everyday responsibilities, or wondering why rest doesn't seem to help anymore, this conversation offers validation, language for what you're experiencing, and the reminder that you're not alone.

In this episode, Jess & Jeannine discuss:

Resources & Mentions

Angry on the Inside is hosted by two late-diagnosed ADHD women sharing honest conversations about ADHD, autism, emotional health, executive function, and the realities of living in a world that wasn't designed for neurodivergent brains. These are perspectives, not prescriptions.

#ADHD #ADHDWomen #ADHDBurnout #LateDiagnosedADHD #WomenWithADHD #ExecutiveFunction #Neurodivergent #MentalLoad #Burnout #AuDHD #AdultADHD #Masking #EmotionalRegulation #ADHDAwareness

Have you ever borrowed something with every intention of giving it back... only to find it months or years later?

In this episode, Jess and Jeannine explore why borrowed books, favorite mugs, casserole dishes, tools, and even money can become surprisingly complicated for women with ADHD. What starts as good intentions often turns into forgotten items, overwhelming guilt, misunderstood relationships, and the feeling that you've accidentally let someone down.

Together, they talk about executive function, time blindness, forgetfulness, object permanence, urgency, and why returning something is never as simple as it sounds. They also explore the emotional side of borrowing from the stories we tell ourselves after a late ADHD diagnosis to the grace we hope others will extend when our intentions don't match the outcome.

If you've ever discovered someone else's belongings in your house years later, avoided returning something because you forgot where you put it, or wondered why "I'll do it later" somehow turned into never, this conversation is for you.

In this episode, Jess & Jeannine discuss:

If this episode made you think about someone you've borrowed from or someone who's still carrying around your favorite mug share it with them. Sometimes understanding each other is worth a lot more than whatever got left behind.

ADHD Women & Major Life Changes | Why Your Brain Needs Time to Catch Up

Major life changes don't just affect your schedule, your relationships, or your environment. They also disrupt the invisible systems and routines your ADHD brain has spent years building.

In this episode, Jess and Jeannine explore what happens when life changes but your brain is still operating from the old patterns, expectations, and shortcuts that once helped you navigate your day. Whether it's moving, divorce, becoming an empty nester, receiving an ADHD diagnosis later in life, or any transition that changes the shape of your world, your brain doesn't automatically update overnight.

Together, they discuss why ADHD women often rely on routines they don't even realize they've created, how environmental memory influences daily life, and why transitions can leave us feeling frustrated, disoriented, and mentally drained. They also explore executive function, decision fatigue, mental bandwidth, and the hidden work involved in building a new normal.

If you've ever found yourself wondering why a major life change seems to affect so many parts of your daily life, this conversation offers a different perspective on what may be happening beneath the surface.

In this episode:

Resource Mentioned:

Until next time, remember: you're not alone, and you're not the only one who's angry on the inside.

00:00 ADHD Women & Major Life Changes: When Your Brain Is Still Using the Old Map

01:21 The Hidden Systems ADHD Women Build Without Realizing It

06:02 Why Grief Is More Than Sadness: Expectation vs. Reality

09:01 The Grieving Brain, ADHD, and Why Change Feels So Hard

13:16 Neural Pathways, Glimmers, and Letting Go of the Old Map

15:35 ADHD Autopilot, Executive Function & The Cost of Starting Over

20:06 Building a New Normal and Finding Your Way Forward

If you've ever thought ADHD coaching was just someone telling you to use a planner, create better routines, or finally get your life together, this episode is for you.

In this episode, Jess and Jeannine unpack what women's ADHD coaching actually is, what it isn't, and why so many late-diagnosed ADHD women walk away confused when coaching, therapy, consulting, and mentorship get lumped together.

They explore the difference between knowing what you're supposed to do and being able to do it, why self-awareness isn't always the same thing as self-connection, and how many ADHD women become experts at explaining themselves while remaining disconnected from what they're actually feeling and needing in the moment.

Jess shares her own experience with coaching, the misconceptions she had before becoming a coach herself, and why coaching felt so different from the endless self-help advice, productivity systems, and "try harder" messages many ADHD women have spent decades hearing.

Together, they discuss:

• What ADHD coaching actually is

Whether you're curious about ADHD coaching, considering working with a coach, or wondering why productivity advice never seems to stick, this conversation offers a candid look at what coaching can and cannot provide.

00:00 What Most People Get Wrong About ADHD Coaching

01:40 Why ADHD Women Already Know What They're “Supposed” To Do

03:15 Self-Awareness vs Self-Connection in ADHD

05:34 Therapy, ADHD Coaching, Consulting & Mentorship Explained

09:09 What ADHD Coaching Actually Is (And Isn't)

10:18 ADHD Overfunctioning, Burnout & The Shame Spiral

13:00 Why ADHD Coaching Can Feel Emotional

What makes ADHD friendships feel different?

For many women with ADHD, friendship isn't about having a large social circle or talking every day. It's about finding people who understand overwhelm without needing an explanation, offer support without judgment, and provide perspective when self-doubt takes over.

In this episode of Angry on the Inside, Jess and Jeannine explore why ADHD friendships often operate differently from traditional friendship expectations. They discuss hyper-independence, friendship wounds from childhood, rejection sensitivity, unrealistic ideas about friendship, and why many ADHD women struggle to ask for help even when they desperately need support.

The conversation also dives into the unique strengths of ADHD friendships: the ability to reconnect after long periods of silence, the comfort of being understood without lengthy explanations, and the value of having someone who can remind you what is actually true when your inner critic takes over.

If you've ever worried that it's been too long to text someone back, felt misunderstood by the people around you, or wondered why certain friendships feel so much easier than others, this episode is for you.

This podcast is not therapy, medical advice, or coaching. It is a space for honest conversations about life as women with late-diagnosed ADHD.

00:00 Why ADHD Friendships Feel Different

02:19 ADHD Hyper-Independence & Asking for Help

02:50 The Weird Kid Problem & Early Friendship Wounds

06:34 The Myth of Perfect Friendships

09:22 ADHD Friendships and the Ebb & Flow of Connection

10:19 RSD, Exclusion & The Horror Movie Example

13:19 Understanding Without Fixing

15:22 The Lighthouse in the Fog

16:20 Reality Checks, Perspective & Overwhelm

19:24 Validation, Toxic Positivity & "That Sucks"

What happens when moving isn't just stressful it completely overwhelms your brain?

For many women with ADHD, moving is far more than packing boxes and changing addresses. It's a nonstop barrage of decisions, deadlines, disrupted routines, unexpected emotions, and executive function demands that can leave you exhausted long before the first box is unpacked.

In this episode of Angry on the Inside, Jess and Jeannine explore why moving can feel so much harder for ADHD brains than anyone seems to understand. From time blindness and decision fatigue to emotional overwhelm, grief, and the loss of familiar routines, they share personal experiences of moves that left them physically, mentally, and emotionally depleted.

You'll hear why the excitement of a fresh start can quickly turn into burnout, how losing your familiar environment impacts executive functioning, and why even positive life changes can trigger grief. Most importantly, you'll learn why struggling during a move is often a normal response to an extraordinarily demanding transition.

Whether you're preparing for a move, unpacking from one, or simply trying to understand why major life transitions feel so overwhelming, this conversation offers validation, humor, and practical insight from two late-diagnosed ADHD women who have been there.

In this episode:

If this episode resonates with you, share it with another woman who is currently surrounded by boxes, second-guessing every decision, and wondering why moving feels so much harder than everyone else makes it look.