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Have you ever walked into a holiday gathering with a smile on your face and a knot in your stomach? You’re passing the potatoes, making small talk, and meanwhile you’re sitting on years of unspoken hurt, unresolved conversations, and roles you never quite chose but still end up playing.

In this episode of Love Shack Live, we’re talking directly to you if your relationship (or family dynamics) already feel shaky and the holidays crank everything up to a ten. We’ll unpack why this season doesn’t create conflict, it magnifies what’s been left unresolved... old wounds, family roles, people pleasing, anxious attachment, and the “keep the peace at all costs” habits that quietly erode connection.

Inside, we explore:

• What conflict actually is: the collision between our expectations and reality
• How people pleasing and staying “nice” often keeps you stuck in illusion instead of reality
• Why unresolved tension turns tiny comments into huge reactions around the table
• What it really means to emotionally regulate (and why it’s more like holding a plank than being perfectly calm)
• How to see conflict as information, not danger, so you can respond instead of explode or shut down
• Our “holiday decoder” for common one-liners (“Let’s just keep it simple this year,” “Let’s not talk about politics,” etc.) and what’s really being said underneath

If you’re tired of dreading gatherings, biting your tongue, or blowing up and then regretting it, this conversation will help you start seeing conflict differently – as a doorway to clarity instead of a sign that everything’s falling apart.

Want extra support this holiday season?

If things already feel tense or overwhelming, the Holiday Survival Bundle gives you the tools to steady yourself fast.

For $97 or 2 payments of $55, you’ll get:

• The Holiday Stress Test to pinpoint your exact pressure points
• Three core relationship skill programs to help you:
  • regulate your emotions
  • communicate without blowups
  • stay connected during the hardest weeks of the year

These tools are simple, fast to use, and made for real-life holiday chaos.

Get the bundle here: https://stacibartley.com/holiday-bundle-nc

Timestamps: 

02:09 Unresolved History and Family Roles
06:18 Understanding Conflict: Expectations vs. Reality
10:08 The Illusion of People Pleasing
12:36 Emotional Regulation and Communication
14:54 Practical Examples and Skills for Conflict Resolution
21:08 The Importance of Emotional Tension
25:33 Recognizing the Precipice: Taking a Pause
25:52 The Power of Movement: Shake a Bush
26:11 Emotional Regulation in Relationships
28:49 Understanding Conflict and Chaos
33:25 Navigating Holiday Stress
35:37 Introducing the Holiday Survival Bundle
38:20 Fan Mail and Listener Questions
41:20 Holiday Conversation Decoder Challenge
45:13 Final Thoughts and Resources