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Living together but feeling miles apart.

You still share a home. Maybe even a bed. But the real stuff, the fears, the wants, the touch, has gone quiet. You keep telling yourself, “It’s just a phase.” But deep down, you know the distance isn’t shrinking.

This episode is for that moment.

I’m Staci Bartley, here with my partner Tom and our daughter Brooke. Inside Love Shack Live, we help people who are stuck between holding on and letting go. People who are trying to give space without losing themselves and still hoping for a way back to connection.

Today we’re answering real questions from people who took The Surviving Space Self-Assessment. These are the questions that come up when love feels uncertain but not over.

We’ll talk about:

• What a healthy amount of space looks like when you’re still living together
• Why people say they’ll change but almost never follow through
• How to talk about what you want without pushing your partner away
• How to express your feelings without it turning into a fight
• How to keep moving forward when everything feels upside down
• And whether a relationship can really survive after infidelity

The truth

Space isn’t the enemy. Disconnection is.

And you can rebuild connection, even in the middle of the mess, if you learn to speak in ways that feel safe instead of reactive.

Want more support?

Our live 30-Day Roadmap has closed, but the Self-Paced version is open. You’ll get the same daily lessons plus four Monday night Better Love Club calls where you can get live help while you move through the program at your own pace.

You don’t have to do this alone.

Start anytime at stacibartley.com/30-day-roadmap.

Want a starting point first? Take The Surviving Space Self-Assessment to see where you are and what to work on next here: https://space-assessment.scoreapp.com/

Timestamps:
03:35 Navigating In-Home Separation
10:11 The Challenge of Follow-Through
17:31 Personal Struggles and Emotional Safety
26:06 Creating Internal Motivation
27:12 Discussing Desires Without Pushing Away
29:16 Expressing Feelings Positively
31:36 Taking Steps Forward in Tough Times
35:45 Surviving Infidelity
38:15 The Importance of Relationship Skills
47:58 Humor and Creativity in Emotional Regulation
50:53 Conclusion and Resources

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If your partner asked for space and your whole body has been bracing ever since, you are not broken. You’re in survival mode.

On this episode of Love Shack Live, we’re speaking directly to you, the partner who’s been asked for space.

You know that feeling of walking around with your stomach in knots, checking your phone every few minutes, wondering if reaching out will make things worse? You’re not crazy for feeling this way. When someone you love pulls away, your nervous system sounds the alarm. To your body, space feels like danger.

In this episode, we’ll start right where you are, in the middle of the panic and confusion, and show you the first skill that can help you find steady ground again. It’s a simple practice we call Sit Your Butt Down and Breathe, and it’s how we begin every single day inside the Love in Limbo: 30-Day Roadmap.

Before you can repair a relationship, you have to repair your sense of safety. Before you can communicate clearly, you have to calm the noise inside your own body. Until you do, every text, every silence, and every shift in tone will feel like proof that it’s either saved or over.

The question we’ll answer today: How do you give someone space without losing yourself, or the relationship, in the process?

You’ll learn how to tell the difference between giving space and abandoning yourself, how to quiet the inner chaos, and how to start responding from calm instead of reacting from fear.

Episode Resources: 

• If you’re ready to stop spinning and start finding your calm again, join us inside the Love in Limbo: 30-Day Roadmap, the step-by-step journey for rebuilding clarity, confidence, and connection during space: https://stacibartley.com/30-day-roadmap
• Not sure where to start? Take the free Relationship Space Assessment to discover how this space is impacting you, and what to do next: https://space-assessment.scoreapp.com/

Timestamps: 

01:34 Sit Your Butt Down and Breathe: A Guided Practice
04:05 The Importance of Self-Regulation
10:31 Emotional Safety and the Roadmap
12:19 The Dynamics of Space in Relationships
22:05 Anxious vs. Avoidant: Different Coping Mechanisms
31:51 Real Questions from Listeners
36:47 Addressing Confusion in Daily Activities
37:38 Understanding Relationship Drift
39:28 The Importance of Relationship Skills
39:47 Admitting Wrong and Apologizing
41:14 Becoming the Best Version of Yourself
42:40 The Lease Option Contract for Love
43:28 The Reality of Relationship Entropy
45:22 Handling Separation and Emotional Capacity
55:19 Deciding on Divorce or Fighting for Marriage
58:47 Learning to Let Go and Self-Preservation
01:00:07 The Love and Limbo Roadmap
01:04:01 Breathe Like a Badass
01:06:34 Final Thoughts and Resources

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Have you ever said yes just to avoid an argument? You take it on, you promise you’ll change, you nod along. Even though inside you’re thinking, “I can’t keep doing this.” That’s not weakness. That’s an agreement that needs a closer look.

Last week we shared part one of this two-part series from The Better Love Club on how real connection is created. In part two, we’re looking at what blocks it: unhealthy agreements. We’re sharing these replays while Tom and I are in Italy checking out the venue for our 2026 couples retreat.

A quick note for our Better Love Club community: all student voices have been removed to protect privacy.

This is Love Shack Live, the podcast for people at a relationship crossroads. If daily fights are wearing you down, if the gap keeps growing, and you still want a bond that feels real and lasting, you’re in the right place.

Think about it. Maybe you promised to stop bringing up money. Or to be the one who always texts first. Or to say yes to intimacy when you don’t feel close. On the outside, it looks fine. Inside, it feels heavy and exhausting. Today I’ll show you how to tell when an agreement isn’t serving you and how to shift it without turning it into a blowup.

Today’s question: What happens when you stop saying a tired yes and start speaking one true sentence instead?

We’ll explore:

• The difference between talking and true connection (and why “performing” closeness backfires)
• How to spot the hidden cost of people-pleasing: resentment, shutdown, and that “I’m disappearing” feeling
• Why flexibility in agreements creates safety instead of chaos
• A simple reveal/witness framework to help you change a deal without lighting a match
• Language you can borrow to own your part, name what’s changed, and propose something better

Try this while you listen: Notice where your body says “no” while your mouth says “okay.” That’s your cue to test a more true sentence.

By the end, you’ll have one sentence to replace an exhausted yes. What shifts when you say it out loud?

Ready to Learn What to Say (and Not Say) During Space?

If your partner has asked for space, communication can feel like walking a tightrope. What you say (or don’t say) can make the difference between rebuilding connection or widening the gap.

You have two ways to join me for my “What to Say (and Not Say) During Space” masterclass:

🎥 Watch On Demand Anytime

Get instant access to the 90-minute replay, plus scripts and tools you can use right away.

👉 Watch On Demand ($39): https://stacibartley.com/on-demand-masterclass

📅 Join Me Live: October 18 at 12:00 PM PT

Experience the masterclass live and ask your questions directly. You’ll also get lifetime replay access.

👉 Save Your Seat for the Live Session: https://stacibartley.com/live-masterclass

And if you’re ready to go deeper, check out the 30-Day Love in Limbo Roadmap: a guided journey to help you regulate emotions, rebuild self-trust, and reconnect with clarity during separation. Join here: https://stacibartley.com/30-day-roadmap

Timestamps:

01:39 The Impact of Broken Agreements
05:39 Self-Reflection and Personal Integrity
09:01 The Fear of Flexibility in Relationships
11:50 Commitment vs. Flexibility: Finding Balance
19:13 The Illusion of Stability: Challenging Assumptions
24:13 The Illusion of Logic in Relationships
26:13 Facing Conflict and Disappointment
27:35 The Importance of Revealing and Witnessing
29:37 Creating a Safe Space for Emotional Exchang

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Feeling close but not connected? You talk, you share a couch, you share a life… and yet the room feels cold. This episode of Love Shack Live is for anyone at a relationship crossroads who’s worn down by daily conflict and a widening emotional gap, but still wants a bond that feels genuine and lasting.

This special replay comes straight from the Better Love Club. Tom and I are in Italy scouting a venue for our 2026 couples retreat, and we pulled this teaching so you can practice connection skills today. Student voices are removed. It’s just the lesson.

Here’s the big question we’ll answer: If connection is created, not found, what happens the moment you stop performing and share one true sentence instead?

Inside, you’ll learn:

• Three simple ways to let someone actually find you: a present-moment truth, a short personal story, and a deep value or desire.
• Why pleasing, sameness, and constant agreement quietly stall intimacy.
• A grounding breath practice to slow your nervous system so real conversation can start.
• How to make small moves that change the room without turning it into a debate.

Stay to the end for a simple script you can try tonight. One sentence. Real connection. Let’s practice.

Resources Mentioned: 

• Masterclass: "What to Say (and Not Say) During Space" $39: https://stacibartley.com/on-demand-masterclass
• 30-Day Love in Limbo Roadmap: https://stacibartley.com/30-day-roadmap

Timesamps: 

02:34 Breathing Exercise for Presence
04:31 Defining Connection vs. Talking
05:35 The Role of Vulnerability
10:07 Practicing Connection: Group Activity
20:26 Sharing Personal Stories
26:15 Final Thoughts and Wrap-Up
28:07 Closing Remarks and Future Events

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Have you ever stared at your phone, heart pounding, wondering if one wrong text could push your partner even further away? You're not alone. In this raw and practical episode, we break down the real reason relationships don't survive space - and it's not what you think.

The Hard Truth: Most relationships don't end because of space. They end because of miscommunication during that space.

What You'll Learn

• Why "the perfect phrase" is marketing BS that preys on your desperation
• How your brain fills in the blanks with worst-case scenarios during silence
• Why labels shut down conversations instead of opening them up

The Avoidant Partner Question: A listener asks about navigating communication with an avoidant partner. Staci's Answer: Stop weaponizing labels. Avoidant partners aren't broken - they're coping.

Key Insights About Avoidant Partners:

• They're not withholding love on purpose, they literally don't know how to express it
• They're often the most sensitive, emotionally deep people you'll meet
• Avoidance is a coping behavior, not a life sentence

Practical Tools

• When to reach out vs. when to hold back during space
• How to regulate yourself so your words don't come from panic
• The difference between connection and pressure in your messages

The "Decoding the Delay" Game: Next time someone doesn't text back immediately, challenge your brain's negative bias. Maybe they're just working, crafting a thoughtful response, or being human.

Resources

• Episode #210: An Avoidant Partner's Story: https://www.buzzsprout.com/admin/1763017/episodes/16379882-210-when-your-avoidant-partner-needs-space-a-story-of-coming-back-to-life
• Song: "Hold My Hand" by Jesse Glenn
• Live Masterclass: "What to Say (and Not Say) During Space" - September 27th, 2025 at 12pm EST for $39
• 30-Day Love in Limbo Roadmap

Key Quotes "It's not a texting problem, it's an emotional regulation problem." "Space doesn't end relationships, miscommunication does."

Take Action Join the Live Masterclass: stacibartley.com/live-masterclass

Timestamps:

• 01:36 The Emotional Impact of Silence
• 14:33 The Danger of Labels in Relationships
• 28:32 Navigating Space and Separation
• 37:44 Conclusion and Resources

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When someone you love pulls away, the question on loop is: Can we come back from this, or is the distance proof it’s over? If you’ve lived through weeks of silence, guarded talks, and feeling miles apart while sitting side-by-side, this one’s for you.

Relationship mentor Staci Bartley, with Tom and Brooke, answers real listener questions about what happens after space: when reconnection is actually possible, how to handle the first reach-out, and how to name your needs without sounding pushy or needy.

In this episode, you’ll learn

• Why a real return is possible (and what has to change for it to hold)
• The three commitments that reset a relationship: want it, let the past teach you, skill up
• How to handle the first check-in after space so you don’t dump all your pain at once
• A simple weekly check-in agreement that protects connection while you rebuild
• Why communication fails without emotional regulation (and how to do an “emotional pushup”)
• How to express needs without control or collapse

Listener questions we tackle

• “Can my partner really come back after being emotionally checked out?”
• “When they finally reach out, how do I start without making it all about my hurt?”
• “How do I communicate my needs after space without sounding controlling or needy?”

Timestamps:
02:15 Emotional Check-In: First Question
02:38 Understanding Emotional Withdrawal
06:18 The Importance of Wanting It
07:56 Reconnecting Without Dumping Hurt
09:59 Self-Regulation During Space
13:45 Balancing Emotional Support
22:31 Effective Communication Skills
28:29 Conclusion: Reclaim Your World Challenge
33:26 Final Thoughts and Resources

Next small steps:

• → Take the Surviving Space Self-Assessment to see your patterns under pressure here: https://space-assessment.scoreapp.com/
• → If your results point to limbo, join the 30-Day Roadmap, the place to practice the skills that make reconnection possible here: https://stacibartley.com/30-day-roadmap

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Your chest is tight. Your brain won’t stop spinning. Do you send the text…or go silent?

In this episode of Love Shack Live, Staci, Tom, and Brooke unpack what to do when your partner asks for space, and it feels like the beginning of the end.

You’ll hear Mia’s story, why “space” isn’t proof you’re unlovable, and how couples slide into the Default Option (limbo) when they haven’t learned the skills to stay connected under stress. We’ll show you how to shift from pressure to presence, make simple check-in agreements, and get your voice back without pushing your partner away.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

→ What “I need space” usually means (and what it doesn’t).

→ How the Default Option pulls couples apart, quietly, over time.

→ The questions that calm panic and create clarity.

→ How to ask for a weekly check-in (without sounding needy).

→ The difference between pressure texts and presence texts (with scripts).

→ Why feeling powerless kills connection, and how to get your voice back.

Pressure vs. Presence: Real Examples from the Episode

Pressure texts:

• “Hey, checking in again. It’s been 12 hours and I haven’t heard back.”
• “If you don’t want to lose me, you need to figure this out fast.”
• “Whatever. Do whatever you want.”
• “Well, if you really loved me, you’d be showing up differently.”

Presence texts:

• “I know you’re working through a lot. No rush. I’m here when you’re ready.”
• “I want to stay connected. Would you be open to a quick check-in every Sunday?”
• “I need to be honest. I’m struggling with the distance. I’m not here to rush you. I just want to know where I stand.”
• “I don’t need answers right now. I just want to stay connected in a way that works for both of us.”

Timestamps: 

04:23 Understanding the Need for Space

05:51 Real-Life Questions from Listeners

07:46 The Illusion of a Perfect Relationship

10:10 Navigating Power Dynamics in Relationships

20:26 Creating Baseline Agreements

25:06 The Dangers of Powerlessness in Relationships

26:35 Understanding Black and White Thinking

27:55 The Importance of Communication and Asking Questions

30:11 Embracing Emotional Nuance

32:00 Client Story: Realizing Personal Responsibility

36:41 Fear and Insecurity in Relationships

40:53 Pressure vs. Presence: A Fun Quiz

44:53 Final Thoughts and Reflections

Next small steps:

• → Take the Surviving Space Self-Assessment to see your patterns under pressure here: https://space-assessment.scoreapp.com/
• → If your results point to limbo, join the 30-Day Roadmap, the place to practice the skills that make reconnection possible here: https://stacibartley.com/30-day-roadmap

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When a partner says they need space, most of us freeze, wait, and hope, until reality lands like a punch in the gut. In this episode, Staci, Tom, and Brooke unpack the “default option”: the unconscious choices (shutting down, chasing, over-explaining, policing “boundaries”) that slowly erode connection. You’ll learn why love isn’t the problem, missing skills are, and how simple, repeatable practices (regulating your body, translating feelings into words, reaching for repair) interrupt panic and create safety. We walk through a real couple’s story (Mark & Maggie) to show the shift from defensiveness to steady reconnection, and we introduce Action-Reward Pricing for the 30-Day Roadmap, built to get you out of limbo now, not “someday.” Plus: a playful “Default Flip Interrupt” you can try today, and the Song of the Week to get you moving when anxiety pins you down.

• The “default option” = waiting, pretending, spiraling, and silent drift. It chooses you when you don’t choose skills.
• Love isn’t broken; the missing pieces are conflict skills, emotional regulation, repair, and agreements.
• Regulation first, words second: calm your body before you speak (or you’ll weaponize your words).
• Consistency builds trust; wobbling between calm and chaos erodes it.
• Tiny, repeatable moves, nervous system resets, clear asks, humble repair, change the day-to-day.

03:50 The Impact of Avoidance and Miscommunication
07:37 The Importance of Relationship Skills
12:31 A Real-Life Example: Mark and Maggie
18:24 Steps to Interrupt the Default Option
23:07 The 30-Day Roadmap to Relationship Skills
25:23 Special Offer and Pricing Strategy
32:14 Humor and Exaggeration to Break Patterns
37:32 Closing Thoughts and Resources

• Take the Quiz (free): https://space-assessment.scoreapp.com/
• Love in Limbo: 30-Day Roadmap: daily practice, coaching, and community to steady yourself and rebuild connection. Join here: https://stacibartley.com/30-day-roadmap
• Action-Reward Pricing: Join earliest for $197; waiting increases to $267 → $337 → $397. Prices rise because action now saves you money, and saves you weeks of spiraling while you wait.
• While-You-Wait Starter Kit: instant access to a 30-day audio challenge, meditations, coping tools, and journaling prompts so you start today.
• Earn Your Money Back: finish the Roadmap and apply your full investment to your next step with us.

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Have you ever stared at your phone, heart pounding, wondering if the silence from your partner means they’re slipping away for good? You replay old conversations. You imagine what they’re thinking. You tell yourself to “give them space,” but inside, you’re screaming for connection.

Here’s the problem: space without connection is like cutting the power and expecting the lights to stay on. Sooner or later, everything goes dark.

Welcome to Love Shack Live, the podcast for anyone at a relationship crossroads. If you’re facing daily conflict, feeling the gap between you grow, and still holding out hope for a love that feels real and lasting, you’re in the right place.

In this episode, we ask a critical question: Is leaving your partner alone really the best path forward, or the quickest way to lose them for good?

You’ll hear why “just waiting it out” backfires, how hidden expectations create mistrust, and why real agreements, not silence, are the foundation of emotional safety. We’ll share what “coming to the table” looks like in practice, how to renegotiate without shame, and why broken agreements hurt far more than most couples realize.

By the end, you’ll have a fresh perspective on how to steady yourself and your relationship, without clinging, chasing, or collapsing. And in the next episode, we’ll dive into the exact scripts for renegotiating agreements when your partner resists.

Episode Links: 

They said they needed space. But the real reason isn’t what you think.

It’s not about love fading, it’s about missing skills.

👉 Take the Relationship Space Survival Quiz and find yours in under 10 minutes.

It’s not a personality quiz. It’s a mirror that shows you what’s really driving the silence, and your first step to shift it.

Take the quiz now: https://space-assessment.scoreapp.com/

And if you know you need more than insight?

The Love in Limbo: 30-Day Roadmap begins October 19. Enrollment closes October 23, and this is the last guided round of 2025. Only 75 spots available.

Inside, you’ll get the tools, daily structure, and community support to stop spiraling and start rebuilding yourself, even if your partner isn’t ready yet.

Join here: https://stacibartley.com/30-day-roadmap

Timestamps:
04:23 Navigating Space and Separation
16:49 The Role of Emotional Safety
19:06 Practical Agreements for Stability
24:03 Navigating Financial Responsibilities
25:10 The Importance of Communication
26:04 Real-Life Case Study
29:36 The Concept of Coming to the Table
38:19 Co-Creation in Relationships
43:44 Final Thoughts and Call to Action

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Have you ever felt like your relationship was running on empty, like the emotional gas tank hit “E” and suddenly your partner said, “I need space”? In that moment, everything can feel terrifying. The silence. The distance. The questions you can’t stop spinning in your head.

But here’s the truth: needing space isn’t always a sign the relationship is over. More often, it’s a survival response, the human need to regroup, refill, and reconnect with ourselves before we can reconnect with anyone else.

In this episode of Love Shack Live, we’re pulling back the curtain on what “space” really means in relationships. You’ll learn:

• Why requests for space often happen long after the need first appeared
• How ignoring our emotional capacity leads to collapse or acting out
• Why coping behaviors during separation (from risky choices to pulling away) don’t mean love is gone
• And most importantly: how to use this difficult pause as an opportunity for clarity and growth

If you’re at a relationship crossroads, navigating conflict, distance, or a partner who says they need time apart, this conversation will help you see space in a whole new way.

So here’s the question: What if “I need space” isn’t the end… but the invitation to a different beginning?

Episode Links: 

They said they needed space. But the real reason isn’t what you think.

It’s not about love fading, it’s about missing skills.

👉 Take the Relationship Space Survival Quiz and find yours in under 10 minutes.

It’s not a personality quiz. It’s a mirror that shows you what’s really driving the silence, and your first step to shift it.

Take the quiz now: https://space-assessment.scoreapp.com/

And if you know you need more than insight?

The Love in Limbo: 30-Day Roadmap begins October 19. Enrollment closes October 23, and this is the last guided round of 2025. Only 75 spots available.

Inside, you’ll get the tools, daily structure, and community support to stop spiraling and start rebuilding yourself, even if your partner isn’t ready yet.

Timestamps: 

03:04 The Importance of Early Communication
04:01 Understanding the Human Need for Space
04:36 The Consequences of Ignoring Emotional Needs
14:44 Coping Mechanisms and Risky Behaviors
24:41 Navigating Space with a Plan and Purpose
30:13 Understanding the Fear and Pain in Relationships
31:43 The Importance of Having a Plan
32:00 Common Patterns in Struggling Relationships
33:02 The Role of Space in Healing
34:05 Creating a Purposeful Plan for Space
35:29 Benefits of Planned Space
38:26 Client Success Stories
41:35 Steps to Crafting an Effective Plan
42:25 The Roadmap: A Tool for Individual Growth
49:16 The Importance of Completion in Relationships
49:55 Final Thoughts and Encouragement
53:58 Reflecting on Personal Growth
59:12 Episode Wrap-Up and Theme Song