June 26, 2023

252: Rosie A. revisits

55 minutes

🔸 Is this IFS? "Everybody else is good..." The gap between listening (to an exile) and offering something helpful.

🔹 Parts:

E: My needs are a problem. Everybody else is more lovable. Everybody else is good and I'm not. Why?

P: I'll figure out why!

P: WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO GET THIS internal tail wag?

P: Try to be an adult, ask for what I want...

P: Caretaker. I'll explain to you, exile...

P: "I don't know how..." (I say that's a protector, but not one we identified as such)

🎓 What I'd like to do differently:
I feel like I'm only one-foot-in IFS here. I passed on several opportunities to follow the script, considering how much work Rosie has already hone here, and our history in which those methods haven't always landed as intended.

"What if you were unlovable?", a gamble. But is it misaligned with the bigger, Self-led perspective? I don't mean from the "James is in perfect Self energy" perspective, but that it was derived from my genuine consideration of how I, from Self, would be with a part like that. I've mentioned that that is how I conceptualize Direct Access. Rather than asking Rosie to "ask the part xyz", I just go to that place in me, with that exile in me, and see what happens. To me the answer to the question "What if we were unlovable by others (*and* I love you)?" is liberating, joyous.

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