What does marriage look like after 20 years of life, kids, and building businesses together?

In this special anniversary episode of Scared Confident, Tiffany sits down with her husband, JR Sauder, for a real, unfiltered check-in on their marriage. They talk about the highs, the arguments, the learning curves—and how they keep choosing each other in the middle of it all.

Together, they unpack what’s working, what still needs work, and why they treat their marriage like something worth intentionally building—not just something that happens. From navigating communication breakdowns to carving out space for fun in a routine-heavy life, this episode is honest, funny, and full of wisdom from two people still figuring it out (on year 20).

They also share the “marriage check-in” framework they use each year—and how you can use it, too—to stay emotionally aligned, not just logistically in sync.

Key Takeaways:

• How the metaphor of a “relay race” explains marriage during intense parenting seasons—and what it reveals about real partnership
• Why communicating sooner (not louder) can be the fix for resentment and misalignment
• How routine creates stability, but adventure keeps things alive—and how to make room for both

Timestamps:

(00:00) Intro

(00:57) Rating our marriage

(02:51) Describing our marriage in two words

(08:59) Improvements in our marriage over the past year

(14:46) Making progress on future goals

(23:23) Managing family communication

(24:05) Weekly meetings and date nights

(24:46) Supporting each other

(25:53) Balancing responsibilities

(28:11) Finding time for family

(30:02) Personal growth and self-reflection

(34:01) Slowing down to achieve more

(35:46) Learning about each other

(38:07) Advice for our kids

(41:19) Reflecting on our relationship

Link to download: Marriage Checkin

Link to last year’s podcast: Navigating 19 years of marriage with intentionality