At the beginning of the year I decided to buy Simon’s Momentum Portfolio. Veering from the ETF path, I bought 15 individual shares. Before this brave foray into the world of individual shares, I only held five Sasol shares that I bought on a whim once. Call me Investment Strategy Joe.

This decision has caused me some consternation. Firstly, the portfolio included gold shares, which I refuse to own for reasons discussed with perhaps a touch too much passion elsewhere. Secondly, you’re supposed to hold the shares in the portfolio for a year. Throughout the year at least half of them were in the red every time I checked the portfolio. Which ones were under water kept changing throughout the year, because we’re basically living in the end times. That makes it even more alarming. It’s like knowing someone is about to poke you with a sharp stick, but never knowing who has the stick.

Lastly, I’ve been receiving way too much communication about these shares. I’ve gotten mail. On paper. Delivered by a human being. To my house. I prefer to ignore my portfolio as much as possible. I overthink things, and overthinking is a terrible investment idea.

A few weeks ago I received a 16-page document that seemed to want me to do something. The trouble is, I couldn’t understand a word of it. I've attached it here, if you’ve never seen one. I hope it’s not illegal. Apparently renounceable claw-back offers are a thing. Who knew? Certainly not me.

I dealt with this situation the way one is apparently supposed to deal with bears: roll into a ball and play dead. I realised a little while later that that’s old, stupid, indebted Kristia’s way of dealing of things. I am not that person anymore. I’m fearless about finances. So I asked Simon.

Remember that we have our final JSE Power Hour of the year on Thursday. I hope to put some faces to names on the day. Come say hi!

P.S. On the day we recorded this we got an email from Jane Matthews asking us to discuss renounceable claw-back offers, because she also got this godforsaken document. Jane, we were in sync there for a moment. I hope it means we get to be best friends.

Kris