Live IFS

294: Scott A. revisits


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🔸 The peacemaker(s) and the frustrated part(s).

📌New milestone: On our last call, my 363rd recording, I forgot to hit record. 363 in a row! See recap below "Do Differently"

📌 Scott followed up: Back on solo work today. Had a rough Sunday, triggering experience. Finally able to get some space because there was just so much noise in my system. But so interesting that I was able to put a critical part that was raging into a room, and the noise was instantly turned down. I listened but was still afraid so I closed drapes over the windows and barred the door. Then I send these light waves into the room. I was enjoying it too much and thought whoa this must be a part too. I unblended again (It was happy to step back). I went back to the window and it was dark in the room but with purple lights. The part was in a meditation posture and handed me a lotus leaf with a single bead of water that rolled off. I suspect that he is glad to be dealing with Self and needs the attention.

🔹 Parts:

  • Frustrated with the defeated parts that drain energy. His real name is time. Stop wasting time wiping rugrats nose. Floor it. Hit gas, cause crash
  • Brooding, Goes over mistakes, has wasted so much time. Hates the:
  • Nice guy
  • Overwhelmed hopeless
  • Deep end drop off, Pool at school.
  • 🎓 What I'd like to do differently:

    Bad job? My helping him target, turning curiousity to one is poor. Sounds like I'm being impatient. My own curiousity isn't great. If I'm being generous, I'll say I'm providing a voice/advocating for that frustrated part, which he doesn't know. What are my options? I feel like I can get in now (with whatever I got in my hands today) or never.

    Please: there's a link for anonymous feedback below!


    📌 Recap of previous call:

    My mood was a 5/5 and Scott showed up sounding very calm and peaceful. 

    Said he unburdened another exile (similar age, shame embarrassment), has been doing daily check-ins with them. Said sometimes the emotional work gets to be too much, and he goes back to his meditation practice. I said it sounds likes you have a wisdom practice and a compassion practice: two wings of the bird. 

    He said he is now better at detecting parts, "Im here, I cant be anywhere else", that he used to feel like he had to do it every week, expressed concern re juggling it all. "I feel more positive and... more (parts work) is not always better" "theres a lot more acceptance of my system".

    I said "its a different set of problems. You traded one for another. It used to be you didn't know what was right for you, really wanted to get in, get the healing done, and now you have the opposite problem of knowing where you're going, what works for you, but have to say 'no' to some of it"

    I said that just parts knowing "ok he's coming" probably helps them a lot.

    He said "the manager can get so much done but sometimes... managing the manager" I said "Self leadership!"

    He called it a discovery, said it's like he is the peaceful warrior, and he can put up a shield for his system.

    He said he wanted to share it with friends. said he gave a book and it was received well. I said "you're not the first whom I've met through this project to say you shared it with friends" And "It doesn't have to be high stakes, because everyone can do it. You dont have to do what I'm doing, or become a psychologist. You can slip it in conversation: just say "so a part of you wants this and a part of you wants that... how do you feel towards that part" and you're doing it!

    He said "Yeah. It's easy."


    -----

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