Episode 354 of The Solopreneur Hour is based on the book How to Win Friends & Influence People, with a modern holiday spin, and a peppering of best practices for establishing rapport, NLP and how to connect like a pro.

My hope is that you’ll hear this show and be armed and ready to connect with people at any group gathering, club scene, or first date.  If you have any questions or comments, leave them in the comment section below!

More About How to Connect Like a Pro

There is an art to connecting with people, and it’s an art not everyone has mastered. The good news is it can be learned and today’s episode is a point by point guide to doing so! There are nine points in total, but they’re easy to remember and I’ve included suggestions on how to implement all of them.

1. How to Connect When You First Meet Someone.

There’s a lot that happens in the first few seconds of meeting someone and you can do plenty to make a good first impression. Be sure to smile and look them in the eye while you shake their hand. Also concentrate on remembering their name. To really embed it in your mind you can shake their hand, look them in the eye and say: “John it’s really nice to meet you John.” Now you’ve said their name twice so you remember it, and you’ve made eye contact with a smile to let them know you are friendly. All of which will go a long way to making a good first impression.

2. If You Want Others to Like You Don’t Criticize Them.

This may seem like a no-brainer but just notice the next time you’re talking to someone, and catch yourself if you’re about to critic them in some way. To really take this step to a whole new level try going a month without complaining or criticizing, and see how different you are at the end of that month.

3. If You Want People to Gladly Do You Favors Show Your Appreciation Frequently.

Show your appreciation when someone does something for you, whether it’s answer a question you asked or let you crash on their couch for a night. Go out of your way to show your thanks and gratitude by sending them a thank you note, some flowers or buying them a drink or dinner. You’ll be amazed at how much more willing people are to do things for you when you practice showing appreciation.

4. Be Interested, Not Interesting.

This also goes a long way towards helping you connect like a pro to make friends and influence people. Learn to ask questions, not be the center of the questions. Not sure what to talk about? Use the FORM method: F for family, O for occupation, R for recreation, M for motivation. Those are all things about themselves that people love to talk about.

5. Show Appreciation For Others by Talking About What’s Important to Them.

The bottom line is people like people who are like themselves, find out what the other person likes and use your body language to mimic them so they’ll open up to you and share that information. Once you strike on a topic that you can see matters to them ask more questions: if it’s their kids ask how old they are, what activities their kids like to do, etc.

6. Remember Someone’s Name.

There’s a trick I learned when I moved to new cities: when I go somewhere like a networking event, a restaurant or a bar I’ll learn the waitress’ name or the bartender’s name and I strike up a conversation with them. Later I’ll open my Evernote and make a note of who they are and where they work so the next time I come in I’ll check that note and remind myself of that person. I make sure to tip them well if it’s a service industry person and learn things about them.

7. Avoid All Arguments That Can’t Be Won.