Live IFS

360: Theresa A. revisits (J edit)


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🔸 Hold on. What is the point if the problem is big and huge and not in here?


📌 Theresa followed up:
Hi. thanks again for your time and help last night. I was just thinking, when people ask me right before a trip if I am "excited" , I always think, "I'll be excited when the plane takes off, until then, there is SO much to do and things to take care of, it just feels like a marathon of chores.". Anyway, I hope your trip is beautiful. I wanted to ask more about what it was that you were hoping to accomplish there, but I couldn't tell if you really wanted to say more.
Last night I stayed with the little girl part for a few minutes. I am now pretty sure that she is more kindergarten age than 3/4. But she does also have memories of older ages than that, too.
When you left us, we were entering a carnival type place with rides. We got on a ferris wheel at her suggestion. A self like part appeared, I noticed. So I told her that she could ride with us if she wanted to, but that I was taking care of the little girl, she didn't need to do that. Then it was just me and the girl. While the ferris wheel was moving, she wanted to show me all of the feelings that she could feel. She threw a little tantrum, not at me, but just because she was allowed to. She showed sadness, and was also loud, and "bored". I was not allowed to express boredom as a kid, as it seemed to make my mom mad. She would often say with great disdain , almost disgust in her voice "I WISH I had time to be bored!". That was a surprising one.
After that she wanted to go back and tell my mom how she could have done better, so we went there and told my mom that all feelings were valid. This one was a loving redo, in that she was not interested in expressing anger at my mom. She seemed to understand that my mom didn't know how to do it right. So we told her that all feelings were allowed, and that her job was not to edit them, but rather to teach her child how to express them in ways that were healthy. At home among those who love you should be a place where you can do that. Anyway, that is my update.

🎓 What I'd like to do differently:

Dunno. I'm taking a gamble by talking over her, but also if I ignore parts talking over the exile. When Theresa is in Self and oriented, she can move with lightning speed. But we get stuck sometimes disagreeing on direction. She keeps reporting that it's working, so maybe I shouldn't do much differently.

Also do differently: never edit a podcast again. If Ivan is away, we wait!


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