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Often “nice guys finish last” only because they don’t understand healthy polarity and therefore, will resist leading the relationship in that way. They often display a lot of qualities that make for a great partner and yet have experiences of the women they express interest in being attracted to someone else, usually the “bad boy”.

There’s a misunderstanding about the Feminine, that the way to create harmony is to cater and do what she wants. But this actually creates a sense of unease within a person with empowered feminine energy because it does not create the contrast she needs to feel safe enough to surrender more into her feminine energy. It neutralizes polarity because neither person can (or is willing) commit to one of the poles.

Instead, healthy polarity allows for two separate and whole people. So integrating more of your own masculine energy (this is true regardless of gender) will ensure that you show up to the connection with clearer boundaries so the other person is able to see who you are and what you value. People who have boundaries tend to honor other people’s boundaries because they create clarity and clarity is kind.

This willingness to “back yourself” allows other empowered people to see you more. It will come across as self-confidence but the real gift is the opportunity to see the degree of harmony that can be created between you- if you will be aligned on certain values without fear of loss- self or other.

For the nice guy to create more polarity, he needs to hold equally the value he places on the other person AND the value he brings as a partner including his own life goals, principles, and direction. These are not mutually exclusive, but rather this is what will allow the women he supports to *feel* his masculinity and desire more in a relationship with him than friendship.

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