Live IFS

371: Theresa A. revisits


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šŸ”ø Family loss. She needed there to be more of a network

šŸ”¹ Parts:

  • P: minimizer. This is fine now, nothing to see here. Family image protector. Never look back. Doesn’t want a bunch of whining, it’s weak to be bothered by things that aren’t horrible. ā€œSelf likeā€ is not gonna get the job done
  • E: kid from whom something was taken. There weren’t other adults. I want my auntie. Too much focus on her. Nobody explained.
  • šŸŽ“ What I'd like to do differently:

    Once I was certain about Theresa’s connection w exile, I relaxed and let some other of my parts (who love talking shop w T) step in. Maybe not ideal. But definitely better than starting a session that way.

    As for the concept of "inviting the Self of someone else’s parts", it's never felt right to me. If someone was not good to me, who am I serving by imagining they were? Self can do anything for its parts; ā€œI am here, I can go to where you are, and here’s how I would helpā€ builds trust and heals, in the present. Or Self can "see that these were parts of [other person], and have compassion for their systemā€, in the present. But I think "imagine he was good to you" risks invalidating a part's experience.

    Responding to ā€œshe needed those relationships not to endā€ I could have reiterated, "what did she need from someone (you), given those relationships were ending."



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