April 13, 2024

372: Mio A. revisits

1 hour 28 minutes

🔸 Hot date heartache. Making it safe to want.

🔹 Parts:

P: the deep well. Feeling left out, parts that are hurt. i’m not acceptable, there’s something wrong with me, im ugly, old, unlovable. longing to be loved and recognized but asking for it will bring ridicule

P: scared, hopeless, it will swallow me up. The want is too big.

P: judge. who do you think you are, you want too much. Judging the anger of:

E: (same as first?) angry 2 year old hitting her sister. felt robbed, little sister sucked up all the oxygen. Needs told she’s adorable and lovable and amazing! Wants to be held and also let go. I have to be angry cuz if not, I will die. Cut the cords to the surveillance apparatus.

P: angry, being punished by God

E: 6-7 yo experience the loss. angry. Everything I do is wrong! Am I really this monster? Shunted away

🎓 What I'd like to do differently:

Faster targeting. I know I sound off, a little short. Not feeling tip-top today. And parts increasingly frustrated w my yielding to story-telling. Maybe we should start charging by the hour. Joke. But I imagine the constraint of a 1-hour time limit used by most professionals has its upsides. “Yes you could tell me a story… and now we have 48 minutes to do the work…” I'm not complaining from a “waste my time” part, that’s not it. More like “I could serve better if I had some policy here”.

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