Conversations from the Heart

#38 - How to Navigate Complex Family Dynamics by Checking for Alignment


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This week's episode focuses on how to navigate complex family dynamics - especially when what has previously worked is no longer sustainable.

A common theme on this week's podcast is the importance of checking for alignment.  If we're aligned in our needs and our wishes, then designing strategies to meet our goals is easier.

In question number one, a caller is rediscovering his sense of self and discovering the language needed in order to set new boundaries around old family dynamics.  

Today's second caller longs for a deeper relationship with his adult son and we explore strategies to reconnect with someone who's choosing to stay distant.  

If you're struggling with how to align with family members and reclaim your own boundaries and values in complex family dynamics, then this episode is for you!

We explore:

  • 2:08  How do I stay true to what I need and stay connected with my family?
  • 6:23  Avoid parenting your spouse.
  • 9:48  "I had this delusion that my flexibility was building up some kind of credit."
  • 15:20  A script to help check for alignment of family goals
  • 24:34  How to pick up what the other person is saying so they feel heard
  • 26:54  My eldest child doesn't speak to me.  How can I change that?
  • 28:21  A script for inviting connection 
  • 31:23  How to better attune to your adult child
  • 35:11  A script to check for alignment 
  • 36:53  There's no such thing as a bad parent
  • 41:18  How to listen to your child's feelings and needs without taking it personally
  • 49:48 Three nuggets from The Boundaries Masterclass 


The end of today's episode features a brief discussion of The Boundaries Masterclass, one of Yvette's available online courses.  Feel free to check it out!

To take advantage of today's Flash Sale, go to nvcacademy.com and get Naturalizing NVC: Authentic, Easy, Flowing Speech for 50% off


For ongoing practice and deeper learning, I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection

Twice a month, I host live calls where members bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

  • Join the School of Human Connection
  • Hop on my free Wednesday live call
  • Follow me on YouTube
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Conversations from the HeartBy Yvette Erasmus

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