Sometimes the most compassionate thing we can do after a breakup is not to force a friendship too quickly.

Because friendship requires emotional neutrality… and if our nervous system still recognizes the other person as home, we have a mismatch. 

In this episode of Conversations from the Heart, a listener named Dave asks a thoughtful question: Is it possible to stay friends with an ex—and if so, what makes it work?

Dave and his former partner went through a conscious uncoupling process and are now attempting to rebuild their relationship as friends. But as they reconnect, they find themselves slipping back into familiar patterns that once strained their romantic partnership.

Dave wonders whether there might be blind spots in how he’s showing up—and whether understanding those blind spots could help them move forward with more ease.  Ultimately, we arrive at a hard truth:  You cannot create a low-intensity friendship with someone whose nervous system still experiences you as an attachment figure.

In this episode we explore:

•Can exes really stay friends after a breakup?

•Why emotional timelines rarely match after relationships end

•How attachment wounds can keep relational patterns alive

•The difference between observing a situation and participating in it

•Why intention and impact can feel so different in communication

•The challenge of staying authentic without over-managing another person’s emotions

•Boundaries, grief, and emotional “dosage” after a breakup

Read more on the blog:  Is it Possible to Stay Friends With My Ex?

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. 

Twice a month, I host live calls where members bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

Listen as I sit down with Michaela and Carol for a spacious, grounded conversation about what matters most when certainty falls away.

Rather than rushing toward answers, our dialogue unfolds slowly.  You’ll hear me modeling deep listening, encouraging more relational maturity, and drawing on our courage to stay present with complexity. Together, we explore how our values are often clarified not through rules or scripts, but instead through our attention, integrity, and lived experience.

This episode isn’t about fixing anything. It’s about listening for what matters, for what wants to emerge, and for what becomes possible when we stay human together.

Read more on the blog.

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. 

Twice a month, I host live calls where members bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

This week's episode is a conversation about grief as an ongoing, relational experience rather than something to “get over.” In this episode, we explore ambiguous loss, nervous system capacity, and what actually helps when grief doesn’t resolve neatly.

Together, we reflect on:

•Why some forms of grief don’t have clear endings—and why that’s not a failure

•How grief lives in the nervous system and shapes our capacity for connection

•The difference between presence and fixing when someone is grieving

•What it means to stay human, relational, and honest in the presence of loss

This episode invites a slower, more compassionate way of being with grief, one that honors presence over solutions, and meaning over closure.

Read more about grief and ambiguous loss:  Grief That Doesn't Resolve

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. 

Twice a month, I host live calls where members bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

Relational leadership isn’t people-pleasing and it isn’t weakness.

In this episode, we explore how to lead with empathy and clarity in high-stakes professional settings. Through two real leadership scenarios involving negotiation and supervision, we unpack how to stay relational without over-giving, avoid power struggles, and focus conversations on impact, responsibility, and shared outcomes.

This is a grounded, practical look at empathy as a leadership skill, not a personality trait.

In this episode, we explore:

• Why empathic leadership is not codependence, people-pleasing, or self-betrayal
• How to negotiate boundaries, fees, and expectations without defensiveness or guilt
• What to do when a supervisory relationship is strained and performance still matters
• How shifting from personality to observable behaviors restores authority and reduces conflict

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. 

Twice a month, I host live calls where members bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

What do you do when caring for someone in crisis starts to cost you your health, your sleep, and your sense of self?

Today we explore one of the most painful and complex relational dilemmas: how to stay loving and connected with a family member who is suffering, without becoming the container for their pain or sacrificing our own wellbeing.

A listener brings a raw and deeply human question about boundaries with a grieving, traumatized family member who refuses professional help. Together, we unpack the difference between compassion and enabling, support and self-erasure, love and responsibility.

This conversation offers permission where many of us feel trapped by guilt, and clarity where fear and helplessness blur our choices.

You’ll hear how boundaries can be an act of care, how stepping back can be an invitation rather than an abandonment, and why holding someone’s potential may sometimes be more loving than holding their pain.

Key Topics We Explore:

•When emotional support turns into burnout

•Why you can’t heal someone who won’t co-create their healing

•How to step back without walking away

•Boundaries as an act of care, not rejection

•Releasing responsibility while staying connected

Interested in reading more?  Find a Companion Guide on the blog.

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. 

Twice a month, I host live calls where members bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

Does your body tighter when someone criticizes you? Do you start apologizing or over-explaining before you’ve even thought it through?

In this insightful episode, Jaya brings two powerful stories that reveal how early experiences of contempt and correction still live in her nervous system today. 

Together, we unpack what happens inside when criticism feels dangerous, and how to work with the shame, fear, and self-blame that so often follow.

We explore the difference between criticism and contempt, how to separate observation from interpretation, and how to develop “pushback energy” instead of collapsing into appeasement.

If you’ve ever left a conversation replaying every word, wondering what you did wrong, this one will bring a breath of compassion and clarity.

Read more on the blog.

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. 

Twice a month, I host live calls where members bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

What’s the line between loving someone and losing yourself in the process?

This week, we explore the subtle differences between caretaking and compassion.  

Khanyilanga wrestles with how to set loving boundaries with a friend struggling with addiction, while Kate faces the fear of hurting others when she speaks her truth. 

Together, their stories reveal how easily our empathy can become entanglement, and how to reclaim grounded compassion rooted in honesty, respect, and self-trust.

Listen to learn:

•How to set boundaries without guilt or blame

•Why empathy doesn’t mean self-abandonment

•How to stay calm when others take your limits personally

•How to rebuild safety in your nervous system after relational trauma

If you’ve ever wondered where kindness ends and enabling begins, this episode will bring you home to a more balanced, liberated love.

Read more on the blog.

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. 

Twice a month, I host live calls where members bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

In this episode of Conversations from the Heart, we explore one of the most bewildering dynamics in adult relationships: when we find ourselves deeply attached to someone who simply cannot meet us where we are. 

Even when our minds know the relationship isn’t mutual or nourishing, parts of us keep circling back: longing, hoping, checking the “well” for water that isn’t there.

Through a heartfelt exchange with Judith, we trace how these patterns often have their roots in early attachment wounds. We talk about how our younger parts, the child that still wants to be seen, the teenager who still hopes someone will change, can unconsciously run the show, even in our most adult moments. And we explore how to bring loving awareness to those inner parts, to let them grieve, and to gently reorient toward relationships that feel reciprocal, alive, and truly safe.

This conversation is for anyone who has ever felt confused about why letting go feels so hard, even when you “know better.” It’s about learning the difference between codependence and interdependence, between trying to fix others and truly caring for ourselves, and finding peace in the knowing that healing doesn’t mean we stop needing people; it means we learn how to choose the ones who can meet us there.

Read more on the blog.

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. 

Twice a month, I host live calls where members bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

This conversation invites us to explore one of the deepest lessons in emotional maturity: learning to be in relationship with our feelings without being ruled by them. 

Through a heartfelt dialogue about parenting, school anxiety, and our own patterns of overwhelm, we discover that the path to growing up isn’t about avoiding what’s hard, but about developing a loving and steady relationship with the “vehicle” we live in: our body, our emotions, and our lived experience.

We walk through the tender terrain of a parent’s grief and a child’s avoidance, uncovering how easily love can turn into enabling, and how empathy can lose its grounding without boundaries. 

Together, we explore what it means to help a child,  and ourselves, build strength from discomfort, rather than collapse in its presence. This episode is a compassionate reminder that our feelings are sacred messengers, but they are not the drivers. We are.

Listen to learn:

•How to find the line between empathy and enabling

•What the Zone of Proximal Development means for emotional growth

•How to stay attuned to your child’s unique pace and capacities

•Why discomfort,  not avoidance, is the soil for confidence

•How to model agency and resilience for your kids (and yourself)

Read more on the blog.

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. 

Twice a month, I host live calls where members bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

When life has hurt us enough times, our hearts learn to protect themselves.

We grow cautious. Controlled. We tell ourselves we’re being “realistic,” when really, we’re just afraid to be hurt again.

In this week’s episode, I talk with Cody, a woman learning how to reconnect with her husband after years of criticism, conflict, and silence. Together, we explore what it truly takes to soften the walls that once kept them each safe, but now keep love out.

Listen to learn: 

•How self-protection turns into emotional isolation

•What it means to shift from “negative peace” (avoiding conflict) to real peace (rooted in connection)

•Why awareness of tension is the first step to healing

•How to speak to your partner from vulnerability instead of defense

•Simple phrases that help reopen trust after years of guarding

If your heart has grown cautious, this conversation will remind you: softness isn’t weakness. It’s the quiet courage to love again.

Read more on the blog.

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. 

Twice a month, I host live calls where members bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube