When someone you care about is in crisis, how do you say “no” without guilt? In this episode, Julia brings a powerful, relatable question: how do I set a kind but clear boundary with a friend who wants to move into my space indefinitely?

What unfolds is a rich conversation about friendship, emotional safety, and the difference between care and over-responsibility. We explore what to say when someone “trauma dumps,” how to set boundaries without turning it into a negotiation, and how to stop absorbing others’ emotional projections.

We also talk about what happens when you’re the one being “cut off,” and how to have hard conversations earlier, before resentment builds up.

 Listener Takeaways:

•Language for setting kind, non-negotiable boundaries.

•What to do when someone guilts you for not showing up the way they want.

•How to hold your ground when someone weaponizes past generosity.

•A loving reframe for this common myth: If I can’t meet your need, I must be a bad friend.

•Tips for inviting safer, more mutual friendships (from both ends).

If you're looking for a high caliber small group where you can deepen your practice and really live into the principles of compassion, non-violence and relational presence, apply for The Mentorship Circle, which will begin November 2nd. It will be three hours every month of advanced teaching, deep discussion, and practical integration. Learn more here.

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Become a member of my online learning community
• Join our calls live
• Set up a private session
• Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus

What do you do when you’re bursting with excitement, vulnerability, or a creative new idea, only to be met with silence, critique, or defensiveness from the person you love? In this heartfelt conversation, Liza brings forward the quiet grief of being in a relationship that lacks emotional accompaniment. Together, we explore the lived experience of trying to stay joyful, expressive, and connected when your partner just isn’t available in the way your heart longs for.

We unpack the deeper patterns at play, from relational trauma to the impact of neurodivergence, and identify both internal and external resources that can bring relief. This episode offers real tools for navigating relational misattunement, protecting your spark, and finding connection even when your current environment doesn’t support it.

If you’ve ever wondered how to keep showing up with warmth and wisdom when your needs go unmet, this one is for you.

Show Notes:

•The subtle heartbreak of emotional disconnection

•Why critique from a partner can feel so deflating

•How CPTSD and autism can impact relational communication

•Tools for externalizing emotion (the power of feelings/needs sheets!)

•Why “I need acknowledgement” may not work—and what to say instead

•Turning blame into gold: Translating criticism into needs

•How financial dependence complicates emotional honesty

•Building your own sources of joy, support, and co-regulation

•What to do when your partner doesn’t “join” you emotionally

If you're looking for a high caliber small group where you can deepen your practice and really live into the principles of compassion, non-violence and relational presence, apply for The Mentorship Circle, which will begin November 2nd. It will be three hours every month of advanced teaching, deep discussion, and practical integration. Learn more here.

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Become a member of my online learning community
• Join our calls live
• Set up a private session
• Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus

Have you ever been on the receiving end of a question that didn’t feel like a genuine invitation but more like a setup? In this week’s episode, we explore the subtle difference between open-hearted curiosity and covert control in our conversations.

First, we hear from Tarjia, who’s navigating interactions that leave her feeling dismissed, startled, or unsure what to say, especially when comments come cloaked in snark or when her mother’s questions feel like emotional landmines. Together, we explore how to recognize the moment you’re no longer in a shared reality and how to gently reclaim your footing without collapsing into silence or defensiveness.

Then, Selina joins with a tender dilemma: how to stay relational with a close friend whose intensity sometimes overwhelms her nervous system. She’s not trying to criticize or abandon, but she’s also trying not to lie. We unpack the inner tangle of judgment, empathy, and responsibility that arises when one person’s vulnerability feels like another’s emotional burden.

This episode is for anyone who’s ever frozen mid-conversation, questioned their own reactions, or struggled to say the true thing kindly. Listen to the end for concrete language to use when you feel trapped by tone, startled by a request, or unsure how to hold your own internal reactions with grace.

Show Notes:

•The hidden agenda behind “loaded questions” and how to name it gently.

•Why your mind goes blank when someone says something “smart-ass” in a certain tone and how to recover mid-moment.

•How to spot the difference between performance and presence in a conversation.

•One phrase you can use when someone projects their feelings onto you and expects agreement.

•How to stay kind and honest when you’re afraid the truth might hurt someone you care about.

If you're looking for a high caliber small group where you can deepen your practice and really live into the principles of compassion, non-violence and relational presence, apply for The Mentorship Circle, which will begin November 2nd. It will be three hours every month of advanced teaching, deep discussion, and practical integration. Learn more here.

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Become a member of my online learning community
• Join our calls live
• Set up a private session
• Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus

In this touching and insightful conversation, Patrice returns to share an update on her ongoing journey of self-trust, relational clarity, and emotional healing. After creating space from a previous relationship that couldn’t meet her needs, she reflects on patterns of seeking connection in unavailable places, and the surprising grief that can arise even in the presence of new joy and ease. Together, we explore the nuanced process of discerning what it really means to meet our own needs in relationship, not in isolation.

Listen to hear a powerful metaphor about sitting in the sun to illuminate our active role in seeking strategies and environments that help us flourish, without slipping into self-blame or control. The episode highlights the paradoxical healing that can happen when joy brings our old pain into sharper focus, and reminds us that ease, play, and connection are not luxuries: they are pathways home.

Key Takeaways:

1.Self-trust is not all-or-nothing: it can be practiced on a continuum and deepened through lived experiences.

2.Grief often arises after joy, as we finally feel the contrast between past deprivation and present nourishment.

3.We are co-creators in meeting our needs, not passive recipients or isolated islands.

4.Ease and play can feel foreign at first, but are vital indicators of healing environments.

5.Healthy relationship dynamics aren’t about forcing others to change, but about choosing where we bring our longing.

If you're looking for a high caliber small group where you can deepen your practice and really live into the principles of compassion, non-violence and relational presence, apply for The Mentorship Circle, which will begin November 2nd. It will be three hours every month of advanced teaching, deep discussion, and practical integration. Learn more here.

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Become a member of my online learning community
• Join our calls live
• Set up a private session
• Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus

What do you do when you’ve poured your heart into being a better parent, and your adult child still keeps you at arm’s length?

In today’s heartfelt (and heart-heavy) coaching conversation, we sit with Josie: a mother navigating the complex grief of feeling used, dismissed, and emotionally exiled by her daughter. 

Despite years of inner work and a deep desire to connect, Josie finds herself hurt and unsure: Should she take space? Should she block her daughter’s messages? Is silence a form of self-care, or a veiled cry to be rescued?

Together, we untangle the knot between boundaries and punishment, help her find clarity around her deeper intentions, and explore how unmet childhood needs can hijack our adult relationships. Whether you’re a parent, a child, or both, this episode will speak to the ache of misalignment and the courage it takes to stay rooted in love while protecting your own heart.

In this episode:

•How to discern the difference between setting a boundary and delivering a covert ultimatum

•Why “taking space” sometimes carries unspoken hopes for change, and how to separate them

•The ache of being the family scapegoat, even after decades of healing

•Navigating the painful realization: Nobody else sees me the way my children do.

•A metaphor for overexposure to painful dynamics: The emotional sunburn

•Why it’s essential to tend to your inner child before asking others to meet your unmet needs

•Sample scripts for taking space with clarity, not punishment

•The real purpose of pausing contact: and how to do it with integrity

If you're looking for a high caliber small group where you can deepen your practice and really live into the principles of compassion, non-violence and relational presence, apply for The Mentorship Circle, which will begin November 2nd. It will be three hours every month of advanced teaching, deep discussion, and practical integration. Learn more here.

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Become a member of my online learning community
• Join our calls live
• Set up a private session
• Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus

When the world of healing turns out to be more political than personal, more performative than compassionate, what do you do?

In this episode, we explore a powerful, vulnerable question from Katie, a listener discerning whether to pursue psychology as a profession. What unfolds is part mentorship, part memoir, and a whole lot of honest reflection on the tangled terrain of becoming a healer inside complex systems.

I share a bit of my own journey through graduate school, toxic professional cultures, disillusionment with insurance models, and the soul-stretching cost, both financial and emotional, of pursuing clinical licensure as a single mother in my 40s.

But this conversation isn’t just about psychology. It’s about discernment. It’s about staying connected to your deeper “yes” when fear, fatigue, and broken systems threaten to drown it out.

Whether you’re an aspiring therapist, a burnt-out practitioner, or simply someone trying to live with more integrity and heart, this episode is for you.

Listener Takeaways:

•Why disillusionment in helping professions is not a sign you’re broken, it’s a call for deeper discernment.

•How to honor your “yes” even when fear and power dynamics swirl.

•Why finding your people is just as important as finding your profession.

•The real cost of licensure, and what to consider before taking on debt.

•What it looks like to stay within a system without losing yourself in it.

If you're looking for a high caliber small group where you can deepen your practice and really live into the principles of compassion, non-violence and relational presence, apply for The Mentorship Circle, which will begin November 2nd. It will be three hours every month of advanced teaching, deep discussion, and practical integration. Learn more here.

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Become a member of my online learning community
• Join our calls live
• Set up a private session
• Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus

What do you do when you’re ready for kids… and your partner isn’t?

In this deeply honest episode, we explore one of the most tender crossroads in long-term partnership: what happens when your longing to become a parent collides with your partner’s hesitation, fear, or quiet refusal?

You’ll hear from a caller who is wrestling with the heartbreak of being in a beautiful, joyful relationship—except for one major misalignment. Together, we unpack the emotional tension, the grief, the fear of future regret, and the difficult questions that follow:

•How do you talk about children when you’re not on the same page?

•Can you name a boundary without issuing an ultimatum?

•How do you wait without betraying yourself?

This conversation doesn’t offer neat answers—but it does offer a roadmap for staying honest, kind, and courageous in the face of relational uncertainty.

Stay through to the end for practical tools, boundary scripts, and a bit of self-reflection on what I might have done even better as a facilitator.

Show Notes

In this episode, we explore:

•What to do when one partner wants kids and the other is unsure

•The difference between a boundary and an ultimatum

•How to reveal what’s true for you without shaming someone else’s pace

•The risks of toxic hope and the beauty of generative patience

•Why shared grief can be a path back to connection

If you're looking for a high caliber small group where you can deepen your practice and really live into the principles of compassion, non-violence and relational presence, apply for The Mentorship Circle, which will begin November 2nd. It will be three hours every month of advanced teaching, deep discussion, and practical integration. Learn more here.

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Become a member of my online learning community
• Join our calls live
• Set up a private session
• Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus

What do you do when something important is broken—but the people behind it are doing their best?

In this episode, Jen is preparing to talk to a reporter about a youth program she deeply supports—and is deeply frustrated with. She wants change. She wants honesty. But she doesn’t want to shame or vilify the people running the program.

Together, we explore how to speak truth to systemic breakdowns with clarity, compassion, and courage. You’ll hear us move through raw anger, heartfelt grief, and into honest, values-aligned language that invites collaboration instead of defensiveness.

If you’ve ever tried to advocate for change without becoming the villain—or longed to tell the truth without betraying your heart—this conversation is for you.

In this episode:

•How to speak publicly about system failures without turning people into enemies

•The vital role of anger, grief, and heartbreak in values-based leadership

•How to stay self-connected when preparing to give hard feedback

•Scripts and language tools for telling the truth with dignity

•The emotional intelligence needed to shift from blame to collaboration

•How to transform outrage into a relational invitation for change

•What to do when both sides of the conflict are hurting and hopeful

If you're looking for a high caliber small group where you can deepen your practice and really live into the principles of compassion, non-violence and relational presence, apply for The Mentorship Circle, which will begin November 2nd. It will be three hours every month of advanced teaching, deep discussion, and practical integration. Learn more here.

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Become a member of my online learning community
• Join our calls live
• Set up a private session
• Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus

What does it actually look like to live in peace without bypassing truth, collapsing boundaries, or avoiding complexity?

In this episode, I share six powerful principles for peaceful living, not as moral prescriptions, but as relational practices rooted in the universal human needs that live inside all of us. You’ll learn how to stay grounded in love and discernment, how to co-create mutual thriving, and how to repair ruptures with clarity and care.

This conversation weaves together personal, relational, and systemic insight, offering a wise, trauma-informed, and deeply humane guide to living peace in everyday moments.

In this episode, we’ll explore:

•How to respect sovereignty without detaching

•Why control is not compassion

•When and how to speak truth with care

•What justice looks like in mutual, needs-based relationships

•How to repair without rushing

•Why paradox is the hallmark of relational maturity

If you're looking for a high caliber small group where you can deepen your practice and really live into the principles of compassion, non-violence and relational presence, apply for The Mentorship Circle, which will begin November 2nd. It will be three hours every month of advanced teaching, deep discussion, and practical integration. Learn more here.

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Become a member of my online learning community
• Join our calls live
• Set up a private session
• Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus

Why do some people leave you feeling small, confused, or ashamed, even though they smile, laugh, and seem perfectly nice?

In this powerful coaching conversation, Jaya explores what happens when charm and condescension hide behind friendly facades. Together, we name the impact of what I call narcissistic fallout: the lingering disorientation that surfaces when unresolved trauma meets relational manipulation.

We explore:

•Why some conversations feel like being hypnotized

•The nervous system effects of subtle emotional control

•How to spot power moves disguised as “concern”

•What to say (and how to exit) when someone laughs at your pain

•The inner work of breaking free from spells of confusion and control

You’ll leave this episode with:

•Practical language to protect your power

•A somatic metaphor to stay grounded (the oak tree)

•A gentle reminder that your grief holds your clarity

This is an episode for anyone reclaiming their voice after emotional gaslighting or enmeshment, and learning to walk away from people who don’t feel safe in their nervous system.

 SHOW NOTES

•[03:10] How past trauma shows up in confusing conversations

•[07:20] What is “narcissistic fallout” and how does it hijack your power?

•[10:15] Why charming people can leave you feeling ashamed

•[14:30] Practical phrases to interrupt manipulation mid-conversation

•[20:50] “The porcupine and the ring” — a metaphor for protecting yourself

•[22:00] The Jungle Book python & the hypnotic quality of old patterns

•[26:40] What to do when you keep trying to be liked by people who harm you

•[32:10] How to support your inner teenager during relational triggers

•[37:00] Somatic tools for staying rooted in your power

•[39:00] Sample exit scripts you can use to protect your nervous system

Resources & Links:

•Join the Truth Over Comfort live workshop on August 14th (6–8pm CST): Register here.

•Free Communication Starter Kit

•Learn more about the Conversations from the Heart Membership Program

Loved this episode?

•Subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify

•Share it with a friend who’s navigating confusing relational dynamics

•Sign up for my weekly newsletter

If you're looking for a high caliber small group where you can deepen your practice and really live into the principles of compassion, non-violence and relational presence, apply for The Mentorship Circle, which will begin November 2nd. It will be three hours every month of advanced teaching, deep discussion, and practical integration. Learn more here.

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Become a member of my online learning community
• Join our calls live
• Set up a private session
• Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus