Have you ever texted a friend, waited for a reply, and felt like your entire world was crumbling when they didn't respond right away?  Do you find yourself deeply affected by neutral comments or minor critiques?  If so, you might be experiencing Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD) - a powerful emotional response that can feel like overwhelming pain, shame or devastation after a real or pervceived rejection.

In this episode, we break down:

• What RSD is and why it feels so intense
• How to differentiate between real rejection and fear of rejection
• Practical tools to regulate your emotions and build resilience
• How to work with your sensitive nervous system, not against it
• Real-life strategies for handling rejection in relationships, work and daily interactions 
• A powerful reframe that will help you embrace your sensitivity as a strength, not a flaw

Plus, you'll hear from Annie, a seasoned Nonviolent Communication practitioner, as she vulnerably shares her struggles with RSD - despite all her training - and how she's learning to navigate these deep emotional waves.

✨If you've ever felt "too sensitive" or struggled to bounce back from rejection, this episode is for you.

We discuss:

• 1:55 Opening thoughts
• 3:33 What is RSD?
• 9:50 How can I best deal with RSD?
• 15:09 How can I decrease my suffering and increase my capacity?
• 21:17 Anxious and Avoidant Attachment Styles
• 25:56 Closing thoughts

🔹 Resources and Links:

• Join our 8-week Deep Dive on Repair Work and Accountability (starts March 31st!). Use code PODCAST50 for $50 off!
• Take our free Listening Style Quiz to understand how you process conversations
• Watch more videos on my YouTube Channel
• Learn more at Yvetteerasmus.com

If you're looking for a high caliber small group where you can deepen your practice and really live into the principles of compassion, non-violence and relational presence, apply for The Mentorship Circle, which will begin November 2nd. It will be three hours every month of advanced teaching, deep discussion, and practical integration. Learn more here.

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Become a member of my online learning community
• Join our calls live
• Set up a private session
• Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus

When kids act out - whether it’s stealing, shutting down, pushing boundaries, or having emotional outbursts - how can we respond in ways that guide them toward growth rather than shame?

Today, we explore two powerful real-life situations:

1. A young10-year old boy who stole money from his mentor:  What was driving his behavior, and how could adults respond in a way that fosters learning instead of punishment?
2. A seven-year-old struggling with his parents’ divorce: How can his mother support his overwhelming emotions without taking on his distress or trying to “fix” his sadness?

Through these stories, we unpack the difference between control and connection, how to set limits without losing warmth, and why holding space for kids’ emotions is the key to their long-term resilience.

Tune in as we explore - 

• 2:24 Opening thoughts
• 3:21 I'm dealing with a child who stole money and could use some help with a conversation.
• 7:29 I don't like how I showed up and I want to bring something new to the conversation
• 22:13 How can I help my son cope with his new home?

If you're looking for a high caliber small group where you can deepen your practice and really live into the principles of compassion, non-violence and relational presence, apply for The Mentorship Circle, which will begin November 2nd. It will be three hours every month of advanced teaching, deep discussion, and practical integration. Learn more here.

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Become a member of my online learning community
• Join our calls live
• Set up a private session
• Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus

Have you ever been cast as the "villain" in someone else's story?  Perhaps you're seen as the one who got it wrong, didn't do enough, or failed to meet expectations?

Today, we explore what it means to hold our ground in relationships without getting defensive, to listen without justifying, and to accept that sometimes, people need to see us as the problem while they process their own pain.

In today's conversation, Jill's daughter just sent her a long list of parenting grievances.  How can she respond with love and understanding without falling into the trap of proving herself?

And, Jaya keeps finding herself in relationships where she feels small. How does she break the cycle of submission, reclaim her voice, and recognize when a dynamic isn't worth staying in?

Together we'll explore:

✨ Why defensiveness keeps us stuck—and what to do instead  

✨ How to recognize the real need behind someone’s anger or blame  

✨ The difference between explaining and connecting  

✨ How to trust your own voice, even when someone else tries to rewrite the narrative  

✨ When to stay, when to engage, and when to let go  

Show Notes:

• 1:01 Opening comments
• 3:43 My daughter wrote me an angry text and I'm not sure how to best respond.
• 20:55 The healing is not in litigating the past, but happens in the present.
• 27:04 My pattern in relationships is to collapse.  How can I be more assertive?
• 30:47 The key to asking for what we want
• 41:28 Healing requires a regulated nervous system
• 49:23 Closing thoughts

If you've ever felt misunderstood, unfairly judged, or struggled to maintain connection while standing in your truth, this episode is for you.

If you're looking for a high caliber small group where you can deepen your practice and really live into the principles of compassion, non-violence and relational presence, apply for The Mentorship Circle, which will begin November 2nd. It will be three hours every month of advanced teaching, deep discussion, and practical integration. Learn more here.

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Become a member of my online learning community
• Join our calls live
• Set up a private session
• Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus

In this week's episode, both questions focus on the theme of disappointment, and how to work with people and relationships that leave us wanting.  We discuss:

1:03 Opening comments

7:01 I just found out my friend got married and I wasn't invited

16:28 Avoidant vs. anxious attachment styles

22:18 Role play:  What would you say if you could?

32:14 I want an unconditionally loving relationship and I am always disappointed

43:19 Not all our needs must be met by one person

If you're looking for a high caliber small group where you can deepen your practice and really live into the principles of compassion, non-violence and relational presence, apply for The Mentorship Circle, which will begin November 2nd. It will be three hours every month of advanced teaching, deep discussion, and practical integration. Learn more here.

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Become a member of my online learning community
• Join our calls live
• Set up a private session
• Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus

From the moment we enter the world, we begin learning.  We absorb the rules of our families, communities, and larger societies.  Some of these lessons serve us well, fostering connection, growth, and resilience.

But others come from systems designed to control and dominate, systems that teach us to trade our authenticity for approval, our agency for compliance, and our creativity for conformity.

In this episode, we speak with Carol and Jen who are working with ways to voice their needs with an eye to getting those needs met.  We discuss:

• 1:02 Opening thoughts
• 3:45 How can I create a more mutual friendship with an old friend?
• 9:55 How to check out my assumption with my friend
• 16:06 I'm scared to speak up about what I want
• 23:20 My suggestion was shot down in a meeting and I collapsed afterwards.  How can I show up when I'm shut down?
• 27:20 Step 1:  Accepting where I am
• 28:00 Step 2:  Ask a question.  ANY QUESTION.
• 35:25 How to lead with more "I" and less "You"
• 40:06 Shadow work:  I get to take up space
• 47:30 What can I do for myself once I've woken from a freeze response?

If you're looking for a high caliber small group where you can deepen your practice and really live into the principles of compassion, non-violence and relational presence, apply for The Mentorship Circle, which will begin November 2nd. It will be three hours every month of advanced teaching, deep discussion, and practical integration. Learn more here.

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Become a member of my online learning community
• Join our calls live
• Set up a private session
• Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus

This episode is devoted to those of us who feel frustrated when we're interrupted, or when a conversation we're having is diverted in a way that doesn't feel generative and connecting.  

Listen in for the three strategies we can use and the three goals we can shoot for in order to create a new conversation. 

We discuss:

• 3:10 I was having a heartfelt conversation and got interrupted.  What can I do in moments like these?
• 8:09 Strategy #1:  Say it badly to someone else, first
• 15:19 Doing our work on the backend allows for more choicefulness in the moment.
• 16:15 Strategy #2:  Reflect the person back to them, and ask consent for a different conversation
• 21:45 Strategy #3: Raise awareness about the current dynamic
• 29:16 Goal #1: Shoot for playfulness
• 35:20 Goal #2:  Detach from the other person's reaction 
• 36:58 Goal #3:  Accept yourself at your current level of practice
• 40:01 When I can't access humor, it might be because pain is present
• 41:54 Closing thoughts

If you're looking for a high caliber small group where you can deepen your practice and really live into the principles of compassion, non-violence and relational presence, apply for The Mentorship Circle, which will begin November 2nd. It will be three hours every month of advanced teaching, deep discussion, and practical integration. Learn more here.

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Become a member of my online learning community
• Join our calls live
• Set up a private session
• Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus

Today, Colleen shares her experience of balancing emotional authenticity with others' expectations, while CJ explores the challenges of offering meaningful apologies and overcoming guilt and shame. This episode is for you if you've ever wondered:

• How do you stay connected when emotions run high?
• What’s the secret to offering an authentic apology without getting stuck in guilt or shame?
• How can you repair a strained connection and set boundaries with clarity and compassion?

We explore the tools and insights to navigate emotionally charged moments with care, curiosity, and courage. If you’ve ever struggled with miscommunication, misunderstood intentions, or the messy beauty of being human, this conversation is your guide to finding deeper connection—even when things feel imperfect.

Tune in and discover practical ways to bring more honesty, empathy, and resilience into your relationships.

We discuss:

• • 3:30 How do I share with my friend that I care, even if I'm not as upset as he is?
  • 9:12 I inadvertently offended someone.  How can I repair that?
  • 14:18 We don't have to do things better - we can do them differently.
  • 19:10 How can I have a conversation with my roommate that prompts her to move out?
  • 24:45 Hard conversation tip #1:  Pick up the other person's perspective.
  • 26:06 Releasing fear of conflict
  • 29:21 Closing thoughts

If, like CJ, you are yearning to up level your ability to take accountability for mistakes without sinking into regret or shame, that's exactly what we'll be practicing this spring in my Deep Dive.  

Learn how to repair relationships while maintaining your dignity in From Regret to Resilience:  The Art of Repair Work.  

Use Coupon Code:  PODCAST50 to save $50

If you're looking for a high caliber small group where you can deepen your practice and really live into the principles of compassion, non-violence and relational presence, apply for The Mentorship Circle, which will begin November 2nd. It will be three hours every month of advanced teaching, deep discussion, and practical integration. Learn more here.

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Become a member of my online learning community
• Join our calls live
• Set up a private session
• Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus

This week I talk to Steve, who is trying to balance his care for a friendship that has become emotionally draining, with his care for himself, and we explore questions many of us grapple with: 

• How do we distinguish between setting boundaries and abandoning someone we care about? 
• How do we honor our own well-being while remaining compassionate toward others?

You’ll hear Steve’s initial conversation about his struggle to let go of a friendship that isn’t meeting his emotional needs, followed by a powerful follow-up discussion two weeks later as he reflects on his journey.

Episode Highlights:

• 3:12 Steve’s Initial Question: Detaching from a friendship that has become emotionally unbalanced.
• 10:00 A script for disengaging from a friendship 
• 12:00 Part 2 Intro
• 16:40 What is making it difficult to disengage?
• 21:10 The Role of Validation: How seeking external affirmation can lead to unhealthy dynamics.
• 29:03 Caring for the impact of our actions is not the same as feeling responsible for them.  
• 30:31 Closing thoughts:  Tools for Boundaries and Clarity: Strategies for balancing care for others with self-compassion.
• 37:20 Questions to ask yourself when wanting to disengage.

Key Takeaways:

1. Setting boundaries is not about rejecting others; it’s about preserving your own emotional well-being.
2. Guilt often arises from taking too much responsibility for others’ emotions—self-compassion is key.
3. Fulfilling relationships are rooted in reciprocity and mutual respect; it’s okay to let go when that’s missing.

Resources Mentioned:

Blog: Boundaries vs. Abandonment: How to Prioritize Yourself Without Guilt

Boundaries Masterclass: A step-by-step guide to setting boundaries that both connect and protect.

Free Resources: Explore tools for self-compassion and emotional clarity at yvetteerasmus.com.

If you're looking for a high caliber small group where you can deepen your practice and really live into the principles of compassion, non-violence and relational presence, apply for The Mentorship Circle, which will begin November 2nd. It will be three hours every month of advanced teaching, deep discussion, and practical integration. Learn more here.

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Become a member of my online learning community
• Join our calls live
• Set up a private session
• Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus

What if the smallest moments of care could transform a relationship or change a life? In this episode, we uncover the surprising power of empathy and connection through two compelling stories. Discover how to meet people where they are, foster deep understanding, and create conversations that truly matter.

We discuss:  

• 2:01 How can I help shift someone from self-blame to self-compassion?
• 6:33 What happens when you prioritize connection over solving?
• 7:34 How can presence and empathy shift someone from self-blame to self-compassion?
• 12:57 The difference between a monologue and a conversation
• 16:37 What are some strategies I can use to stay in my lane?
• 23:28 How can I help the woman I care for make a difficult decision?
• 35:44 Practical tips for creating co-created conversations that inspire growth.

Join us for insights, stories, and an invitation to bring these lessons into your life. Don’t forget to sign up for the Getting Grounded in Your Goodness retreat by January 31st!

If you're looking for a high caliber small group where you can deepen your practice and really live into the principles of compassion, non-violence and relational presence, apply for The Mentorship Circle, which will begin November 2nd. It will be three hours every month of advanced teaching, deep discussion, and practical integration. Learn more here.

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Become a member of my online learning community
• Join our calls live
• Set up a private session
• Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus

In this episode, we tackle one of the most challenging aspects of communication: defensiveness. Whether it’s a friend who dismisses others, a family member who reacts sharply, or a coworker who resists feedback, defensiveness often creates distance in relationships. But what if we could work with defensiveness instead of resisting or judging it?

Drawing from real-life listener questions, I explore how to engage with others’ defenses in ways that foster trust, empathy, and connection. Together, we’ll uncover why defensiveness arises, how to approach it with curiosity, and the surprising ways it can become a bridge rather than a barrier. If you’ve ever struggled with someone’s resistance—or your own—this episode is for you. We listen to three different scenarios that can be turned around with the use of really clear requests.  


We discuss:

• 1:00 My friend is so judgmental of my other friends.  How can I talk to her about this?
• 6:00 Why clear requests are so essential.
• 9:49 Want to experience more care?  Try this move.
• 11:39 Leading with curiosity
• 19:44 Working with others' defenses.
• 20:57 How can I warm the relationship I have with my daughter?
• 29:07 How can I request an invitation to dinner?

If you're looking for a high caliber small group where you can deepen your practice and really live into the principles of compassion, non-violence and relational presence, apply for The Mentorship Circle, which will begin November 2nd. It will be three hours every month of advanced teaching, deep discussion, and practical integration. Learn more here.

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Become a member of my online learning community
• Join our calls live
• Set up a private session
• Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus