What if every awkward silence, every emotional hijack, every misstep can be used as stepping-stone to circle back to a conversation?  To reconnect.  To build trust, not erode it.

What if "failed" moments aren't actually failures at all, but are simply part of a natural, generative learning process?

Today, we examine moments that feel like failures at the time, but are actually opportunities for greater connection with ourself and others.

We explore:

• 1:01   Intro thoughts
• 2:40  How can I incorporate NVC tools at work?
• 3:45  Step 1:  Observe
• 7:20   The most powerful thing you can do when you're in a position of power
• 14:43  'm angry.  What can I do?
• 23:45  How can I stop judging my family?
• 31:07  A script for revealing ourselves in small ways
• 39:53  Q&A
• 51:10  Closing tips and practices

To take advantage of today's Flash Sale, go to nvcacademy.com and get Naturalizing NVC: Authentic, Easy, Flowing Speech for 50% off

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. 

Twice a month, I host live calls where members bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

In this episode, Jaya brings forward a challenge that many of us can relate to - leaving conversations feeling undermined or devalued.  She struggles with how to maintain her power and self-worth when people dismiss, invalidate, or fail to recognize her contributions.  Her core questions include:

1. How do I keep my power when dealing with people who undermine or devalue me?
2. What language can I use to defend myself?
3. How do I navigate situations where I freeze in response to subtle invalidation?
4. Why do some people always take a contrarian point of view, and how can I respond?
5. How do I handle accusations of being selfish when I set boundaries or withdraw?

Key Takeaways for Listeners

• Shift Your Perspective - Stop seeing these moments as something being done to you and instead as data about the other person's patterns and needs.
• Break the Victim Cycle - Seeing yourself as prey in a predator-prey dynamic keeps you in freeze mode.  Recognizing others' behaviors as their habitual strategies helps reclaim your power.
• Practice Self-Connection - Instead of seeking validation from someone who won't provide it, turn inward and self-attune:  What am I feeling?  What do I need?
• Ask for What You Want - If someone is dismissing your feelings, redirect the conversation by explicitly asking them to focus on your experience rather than rationalizing the other person's behavior.
• Recognize Their Needs - Many people default to giving advice or taking a contrarian stance as a way of meeting their own needs - to feel helpful, competent, or insightful.  Seeing this can help depersonalize their behavior.
• Exit With Grace - If someone is Monopolizing the conversation or invalidating you, set a boundary:  "I just realized I need to get going."  No justification is needed.
• Selfishness vs. Self-Connection - True self-care benefits everyone.  When you act from self-connection rather than obligation, you model healthy relational dynamics.

We Discuss: 

• 1:01 Opening thoughts
• 3:05 I feel undermined and I freeze.  How can I reframe this?
• 12:17 They're not "doing something to me".  They're providing data about themselves.
• 14:28 Asking for what you want as a strategy out of the educating
• 20:51 What can I say if I don't want to listen anymore?
• 28:27 What can I say when someone accuses me of being selfish?
• 31:04 Closing Thoughts

To take advantage of today's Flash Sale, go to nvcacademy.com and get Naturalizing NVC: Authentic, Easy, Flowing Speech for 50% off

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. 

Twice a month, I host live calls where members bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

What happens when we truly listen?  Not just to respond, but to create space for deeper self-awareness?  This rich and layered conversation with Patrice shows how connection-based, collaborative listening results I moving beyond her initial questions into a profound self-discovery process.  

By gently reflecting, naming patterns, and holding space, we allow the layers of meaning to emerge organically--leading to clarity and self-trust.

Listen in as we explore:

• How our initial questions often point to deeper truths we haven't fully named yet.
• The role of reflective listening in helping someone find their own answers 
• Why deep, presence-based conversations create lasting transformation
• How to listen in a way that fosters connection instead of fixing or advising

Looking for a conversation that honors both depth and autonomy?  Listen in now.

Key moments:

• 1:39 Opening thoughts
• 3:03 I want to break a familiar pattern of seeking connection with those who can't offer what I need.
• 10:10 Noticing the presence of both grief and hope
• 17:30 Closing thoughts

To take advantage of today's Flash Sale, go to nvcacademy.com and get Naturalizing NVC: Authentic, Easy, Flowing Speech for 50% off

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. 

Twice a month, I host live calls where members bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

Have you ever texted a friend, waited for a reply, and felt like your entire world was crumbling when they didn't respond right away?  Do you find yourself deeply affected by neutral comments or minor critiques?  If so, you might be experiencing Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD) - a powerful emotional response that can feel like overwhelming pain, shame or devastation after a real or pervceived rejection.

In this episode, we break down:

• What RSD is and why it feels so intense
• How to differentiate between real rejection and fear of rejection
• Practical tools to regulate your emotions and build resilience
• How to work with your sensitive nervous system, not against it
• Real-life strategies for handling rejection in relationships, work and daily interactions 
• A powerful reframe that will help you embrace your sensitivity as a strength, not a flaw

Plus, you'll hear from Annie, a seasoned Nonviolent Communication practitioner, as she vulnerably shares her struggles with RSD - despite all her training - and how she's learning to navigate these deep emotional waves.

✨If you've ever felt "too sensitive" or struggled to bounce back from rejection, this episode is for you.

We discuss:

• 1:55 Opening thoughts
• 3:33 What is RSD?
• 9:50 How can I best deal with RSD?
• 15:09 How can I decrease my suffering and increase my capacity?
• 21:17 Anxious and Avoidant Attachment Styles
• 25:56 Closing thoughts

🔹 Resources and Links:

• Join our 8-week Deep Dive on Repair Work and Accountability (starts March 31st!). Use code PODCAST50 for $50 off!
• Take our free Listening Style Quiz to understand how you process conversations
• Watch more videos on my YouTube Channel
• Learn more at Yvetteerasmus.com

To take advantage of today's Flash Sale, go to nvcacademy.com and get Naturalizing NVC: Authentic, Easy, Flowing Speech for 50% off

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. 

Twice a month, I host live calls where members bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

When kids act out - whether it’s stealing, shutting down, pushing boundaries, or having emotional outbursts - how can we respond in ways that guide them toward growth rather than shame?

Today, we explore two powerful real-life situations:

1. A young10-year old boy who stole money from his mentor:  What was driving his behavior, and how could adults respond in a way that fosters learning instead of punishment?
2. A seven-year-old struggling with his parents’ divorce: How can his mother support his overwhelming emotions without taking on his distress or trying to “fix” his sadness?

Through these stories, we unpack the difference between control and connection, how to set limits without losing warmth, and why holding space for kids’ emotions is the key to their long-term resilience.

Tune in as we explore - 

• 2:24 Opening thoughts
• 3:21 I'm dealing with a child who stole money and could use some help with a conversation.
• 7:29 I don't like how I showed up and I want to bring something new to the conversation
• 22:13 How can I help my son cope with his new home?

To take advantage of today's Flash Sale, go to nvcacademy.com and get Naturalizing NVC: Authentic, Easy, Flowing Speech for 50% off

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. 

Twice a month, I host live calls where members bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

Have you ever been cast as the "villain" in someone else's story?  Perhaps you're seen as the one who got it wrong, didn't do enough, or failed to meet expectations?

Today, we explore what it means to hold our ground in relationships without getting defensive, to listen without justifying, and to accept that sometimes, people need to see us as the problem while they process their own pain.

In today's conversation, Jill's daughter just sent her a long list of parenting grievances.  How can she respond with love and understanding without falling into the trap of proving herself?

And, Jaya keeps finding herself in relationships where she feels small. How does she break the cycle of submission, reclaim her voice, and recognize when a dynamic isn't worth staying in?

Together we'll explore:

✨ Why defensiveness keeps us stuck—and what to do instead  

✨ How to recognize the real need behind someone’s anger or blame  

✨ The difference between explaining and connecting  

✨ How to trust your own voice, even when someone else tries to rewrite the narrative  

✨ When to stay, when to engage, and when to let go  

Show Notes:

• 1:01 Opening comments
• 3:43 My daughter wrote me an angry text and I'm not sure how to best respond.
• 20:55 The healing is not in litigating the past, but happens in the present.
• 27:04 My pattern in relationships is to collapse.  How can I be more assertive?
• 30:47 The key to asking for what we want
• 41:28 Healing requires a regulated nervous system
• 49:23 Closing thoughts

If you've ever felt misunderstood, unfairly judged, or struggled to maintain connection while standing in your truth, this episode is for you.

To take advantage of today's Flash Sale, go to nvcacademy.com and get Naturalizing NVC: Authentic, Easy, Flowing Speech for 50% off

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. 

Twice a month, I host live calls where members bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

In this week's episode, both questions focus on the theme of disappointment, and how to work with people and relationships that leave us wanting.  We discuss:

1:03 Opening comments

7:01 I just found out my friend got married and I wasn't invited

16:28 Avoidant vs. anxious attachment styles

22:18 Role play:  What would you say if you could?

32:14 I want an unconditionally loving relationship and I am always disappointed

43:19 Not all our needs must be met by one person

To take advantage of today's Flash Sale, go to nvcacademy.com and get Naturalizing NVC: Authentic, Easy, Flowing Speech for 50% off

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. 

Twice a month, I host live calls where members bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

From the moment we enter the world, we begin learning.  We absorb the rules of our families, communities, and larger societies.  Some of these lessons serve us well, fostering connection, growth, and resilience.

But others come from systems designed to control and dominate, systems that teach us to trade our authenticity for approval, our agency for compliance, and our creativity for conformity.

In this episode, we speak with Carol and Jen who are working with ways to voice their needs with an eye to getting those needs met.  We discuss:

• 1:02 Opening thoughts
• 3:45 How can I create a more mutual friendship with an old friend?
• 9:55 How to check out my assumption with my friend
• 16:06 I'm scared to speak up about what I want
• 23:20 My suggestion was shot down in a meeting and I collapsed afterwards.  How can I show up when I'm shut down?
• 27:20 Step 1:  Accepting where I am
• 28:00 Step 2:  Ask a question.  ANY QUESTION.
• 35:25 How to lead with more "I" and less "You"
• 40:06 Shadow work:  I get to take up space
• 47:30 What can I do for myself once I've woken from a freeze response?

To take advantage of today's Flash Sale, go to nvcacademy.com and get Naturalizing NVC: Authentic, Easy, Flowing Speech for 50% off

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. 

Twice a month, I host live calls where members bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

This episode is devoted to those of us who feel frustrated when we're interrupted, or when a conversation we're having is diverted in a way that doesn't feel generative and connecting.  

Listen in for the three strategies we can use and the three goals we can shoot for in order to create a new conversation. 

We discuss:

• 3:10 I was having a heartfelt conversation and got interrupted.  What can I do in moments like these?
• 8:09 Strategy #1:  Say it badly to someone else, first
• 15:19 Doing our work on the backend allows for more choicefulness in the moment.
• 16:15 Strategy #2:  Reflect the person back to them, and ask consent for a different conversation
• 21:45 Strategy #3: Raise awareness about the current dynamic
• 29:16 Goal #1: Shoot for playfulness
• 35:20 Goal #2:  Detach from the other person's reaction 
• 36:58 Goal #3:  Accept yourself at your current level of practice
• 40:01 When I can't access humor, it might be because pain is present
• 41:54 Closing thoughts

To take advantage of today's Flash Sale, go to nvcacademy.com and get Naturalizing NVC: Authentic, Easy, Flowing Speech for 50% off

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. 

Twice a month, I host live calls where members bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

Today, Colleen shares her experience of balancing emotional authenticity with others' expectations, while CJ explores the challenges of offering meaningful apologies and overcoming guilt and shame. This episode is for you if you've ever wondered:

• How do you stay connected when emotions run high?
• What’s the secret to offering an authentic apology without getting stuck in guilt or shame?
• How can you repair a strained connection and set boundaries with clarity and compassion?

We explore the tools and insights to navigate emotionally charged moments with care, curiosity, and courage. If you’ve ever struggled with miscommunication, misunderstood intentions, or the messy beauty of being human, this conversation is your guide to finding deeper connection—even when things feel imperfect.

Tune in and discover practical ways to bring more honesty, empathy, and resilience into your relationships.

We discuss:

• • 3:30 How do I share with my friend that I care, even if I'm not as upset as he is?
  • 9:12 I inadvertently offended someone.  How can I repair that?
  • 14:18 We don't have to do things better - we can do them differently.
  • 19:10 How can I have a conversation with my roommate that prompts her to move out?
  • 24:45 Hard conversation tip #1:  Pick up the other person's perspective.
  • 26:06 Releasing fear of conflict
  • 29:21 Closing thoughts

If, like CJ, you are yearning to up level your ability to take accountability for mistakes without sinking into regret or shame, that's exactly what we'll be practicing this spring in my Deep Dive.  

Learn how to repair relationships while maintaining your dignity in From Regret to Resilience:  The Art of Repair Work.  

Use Coupon Code:  PODCAST50 to save $50

To take advantage of today's Flash Sale, go to nvcacademy.com and get Naturalizing NVC: Authentic, Easy, Flowing Speech for 50% off

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. 

Twice a month, I host live calls where members bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube