Conversations from the Heart

What happens when we feel pressure to care, but we really don't?

In this episode, we explore the tension between wanting to be emotionally available, while also wanting to protect boundaries regarding our energy and sense of self.

We unpack how our reactions are often intelligent forms of protection shaped by past experiences. And instead of trying to perform the “right” kind of support, we explore what it means to be real, honest, and connected, without collapsing into someone else’s emotional world.

This is an invitation to move beyond fixing, performing, or withdrawing, and into a more grounded, honest, and sustainable way of being in relationship with others. 

Read more on the blog.

Want more direct access to me? I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. 

Join regular live calls where students in the school bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

In this episode, we dive into those moments when we’re upset and reach for connection, but instead of closeness, we get distance, defensiveness, or overwhelm.

And somehow, trying harder only makes it worse.

We explore what’s really happening in those moments, and why our attempts at connection don’t always land the way we hope.

This isn’t about doing it “right.”

It’s about understanding the deeper patterns at play, and how to stay grounded when connection doesn’t happen the way we hoped.

We’ll look at what it means to grow our capacity to stay with ourselves, even when others can’t meet us in that moment.

Because real change doesn’t come from perfect communication.

It comes from learning how to relate to ourselves and others with more awareness, steadiness, and care.

Read more on the blog.

Want more direct access to me? I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. 

Join regular live calls where students in the school bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

What if trying to be a “good partner” is actually hurting your relationship?

In this episode, we explore a powerful and often invisible dynamic:

how self-sacrifice, overgiving, and emotional suppression can quietly erode connection.

When one partner takes on the role of “giver,” it can create a cycle of resentment, emotional overwhelm, and disconnection, despite the best intentions.

In this episode's coaching conversation, we unpack:

• Why overgiving creates pressure, not connection
• The hidden cost of self-sacrifice in relationships
• How to stay present with emotions without trying to fix or manage them
• The difference between needs and strategies (and why it matters)
• What it actually looks like to stay connected to yourself in a relationship

This episode is for anyone who feels like they’re “doing everything right" and still feels unseen or unmet.

Read more on the blog.

Want more direct access to me? I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. 

Join regular live calls where students in the school bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

There are moments in life when our inner world gets so loud that we stop trusting ourselves.

We feel everything (love, grief, longing, confusion) and instead of clarity, we find ourselves pulled in different directions. It's difficult to tell if our feelings are guiding us or misleading us.

In this episode, I talk with Kate, who is navigating the end of a relational “pause” with someone she still deeply cares about. As the moment of decision approaches, she finds herself overwhelmed by conflicting emotions and unsure how to access her own discernment.

What unfolds is a powerful exploration of:

• Why clarity becomes so difficult when emotions are intense
• The tension between wanting repair and wanting to move forward in relationships
• How emotional flooding is often a sign of healing, not dysfunction
• Why learning to relate to your feelings is more important than trying to control or interpret them

We learn we don’t need to trust every feeling, but we can learn to trust our capacity to stay with ourselves inside our feelings.

Read more on the blog.  

Want more direct access to me? I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. 

Join regular live calls where students in the school bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

Have you ever opened up to someone, only to feel corrected, advised, or subtly judged?

In this episode, we explore why “help” can sometimes feel like disapproval, and what’s actually happening in our nervous system when we begin to shut down.

Speaking with Nate, we unpack the gap between intention and impact, the protective patterns that get activated when we feel unseen, and how to begin finding our voice again in those moments.

This episode is for anyone who has:

• Felt overwhelmed by unsolicited advice or fixing
• Noticed themselves shutting down in conversations
• Struggled to ask for what they actually need
• Wondered why certain interactions feel so activating

This is an invitation to soften your inner world, strengthen your voice, and build relationships rooted in real understanding, not correction.

Read more on the blog.

Want more direct access to me? I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. 

Join regular live calls where students in the school bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

What happens when the behavior that triggers you most is something you recognize in yourself?

In this conversation, we explore what it means to be on the receiving end of harsh criticism, and the shock of realizing we’ve done the same thing to others.

This episode unpacks grandiosity as a protective strategy, how shame and powerlessness drive disconnection, and what it looks like to respond with clarity, boundaries, and care, especially as a parent.

We'll Discuss:

•Why grandiosity and criticism are often self-protection, not character flaws

•How to respond when someone is attacking or diagnosing you

•The difference between being “good” and being real in relationships

•How to set boundaries without shutting down connection

•Why your child (or partner) reflecting your past can be a powerful opportunity for healing

Read more on the blog.

Want more direct access to me? I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. 

Join regular live calls where students in the school bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

What happens when speaking up for yourself doesn’t just feel uncomfortable, but unsafe?

In this episode, we explore the hidden cost of being “good”, when agreeability, accommodation, and self-sacrifice become survival strategies that disconnect us from our own voice.

We unpack:

•Why asking for what you want can trigger shame, fear, or collapse

•How early relational dynamics shape patterns of self-abandonment

•The difference between healthy negotiation and domination dynamics

•How to recognize when someone is unable to meet you

•What it means to stay with yourself in the face of pushback

This is a conversation about reclaiming your voice, building self-trust, and learning to choose yourself, without losing your capacity for care and connection.

Read more on the blog.

Want more direct access to me? I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. 

Join regular live calls where students in the school bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

What do you do when someone you love can’t meet you in the way you need?

In this episode, we explore the emotional and relational complexity of unmet needs, whether with a parent, a child, or someone close to us. Through two powerful real-life conversations, we unpack the difference between grief and control, the limits of communication, and the shift from trying to change others to relating to what’s actually here.

In this episode, we explore:

•Why unmet needs often lead to urgency, over-effort, and self-abandonment

•The role of grief when connection isn’t available in the way we long for

•How to shift from control and persuasion to invitation and choice

•What it means to take responsibility for your side of a relationship

This is a grounded, compassionate look at what it means to love without losing yourself.

Read more on the blog.

Want more direct access to me? I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. 

Join regular live calls where students in the school bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

When someone we love is in a relationship that’s causing harm, knowing what to do can feel incredibly confusing.

Do we step in, or step back?

In this follow-up conversation from last week, we speak again with Liza, who is now supporting her son through a relationship that is leaving him anxious, overwhelmed, and disconnected from himself. Together, they explore how to recognize when a relationship has crossed from challenging into harmful, and what it means to respond with both care and clarity.

What you’ll learn:

•How to recognize when a relationship is harmful (not just challenging)

•When it’s appropriate to step in, and how to do it without controlling

•The difference between support, rescue, and intervention

•How to stay out of triangulation while still being deeply relational

•Why the “net effect” of a relationship matters more than intention

Read more on the blog.

Want more direct access to me? I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. 

Join regular live calls where students in the school bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

What do you do when the people you love pull you in opposite directions?

In this episode of Conversations from the Heart, I speak with Liza, a mother who finds herself caught in a painful family dilemma. Her youngest son is in his first serious relationship, and his older siblings believe the relationship is unhealthy. They’ve drawn a hard line: if the girlfriend is present, they won’t be.

Suddenly Liza is standing in the middle, loving all of her children and feeling the pressure to choose sides.

This conversation explores a dynamic that shows up in almost every family at some point: triangulation. When tension arises between two people, a third person often gets pulled in to manage the conflict, absorb the anxiety, or solve the problem.

But what if the most loving thing we can do is step out of the middle?

Together we explore what it means to move from trying to manage everyone else’s relationships to standing clearly in our values and vision for the kind of family we want to be part of.

This shift can change everything.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why family conflicts often pull someone into the middle, and why that role is so exhausting

• How love and protectiveness can accidentally turn into control

• A powerful shift from trying to manage outcomes to standing clearly for your values

If you’ve ever felt responsible for keeping everyone happy, smoothing over family conflict, or holding a family together when others can’t meet each other, this conversation will resonate deeply.

Read more on the blog.

Want more direct access to me? I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. 

Join regular live calls where students in the school bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube