July 04, 2024

408: Charlotte A. revisits

1 hour 24 minutes

🔸 A plain fact. Internal family standards of beauty.

🔹 Parts:

P: this is a small minded problem, im over it, they’re obsessed. Would by wiped out by:

P: starve myself, obsessed w appearance

E: age 4,5,6 Locked in the basement. Dishwater hair, forgettable and plain. Total defective inadequacy, gross, badly formed, hopeless. I didn’t draw a good hand. you’re not pretty. Odd one out, never get it right, needs to be fixed.

P: don’t want james to know about E

P: other ways to be beautiful: ingenuity, Charm

P: brisk, she’s fine

P: fixer upper

🎓 What I'd like to do differently:

Yes, somewhat stormy. I didn't feel like we could get there without spending another hour, and call started 20m late. Part of me says “there’s gotta be a better way to exit” and another says "no, by its nature that situation will be messy, not ideal." It’s feels like planning to make dinner, getting started cooking, and then the oven breaks halfway through. You didn’t know ahead of time that you wouldn't be able to finish cooking, and now you gotta put in just as much work to stop and put it away.

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