Live IFS

410: Christine A. revisits


Listen Later

🔸 This happened and I love you, I'm here. (Continuing with exile from last call)


📌 Christine followed up:

https://open.spotify.com/track/756ziR2z4iXkK35qwBLUiY?si=o1X1ie1QyyYVZ9fnPAjQ

Thank you again for holding that tender space with me, it really means a lot more than words can really say.

Poured myself a cup of tea and put some music on shuffle. The first song that came felt like a direct nod to what we just did and the love that was shared towards her. Made me smile 🙂


Lots came up and became more clear in the relistening of this episode. So thankful for these recordings and the work we’ve done.

I’d like to list some of the points from this exile that became more clear in listening back. So that I have a record of sorts to help remember.

part of the redoing or being with her back in her time would have looked like this for her:

- someone telling her the truth. Her brother was lying to her as he did what he did. Saying it wasn’t happening. Denying her concerns. She needed someone to say things like “what he’s doing is wrong” and “you’re right to feel like this is wrong”

- She needed someone that didn’t deny or dismiss her fears. Someone that heard her and was honest with her. It was so hard for her to trust herself when everything she thought she felt was being denied and pushed aside.

- She needed someone to explain to her brother, that this was not the place or the person to put his confused feelings onto. This is a child. This is your sister. She needs you to love and protect her. She needs you to be a safe space for her. What you’re doing is hurting her and you. This is not the place for this. Stop denying what you’re doing and see that it’s hurting her, hurting you both.
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