45 Forward

When we graduate from college, we often have little idea of where we’ll find ourselves in the second half of life. We wonder how our career will evolve; how we will grow a family and move into our middle ages; what surprises will be revealed; and what legacy we will leave our family and friends—and the planet. In today’s episode, we talk with Leslie Danoff, a long-time friend who graduated in the ground-breaking first freshmen class of women at Yale; embarked on a career in professional broadcast journalism and documentary filmmaking; raised a family of three sons; and took an unusual turn into the world of conservation, co-founding Global Forest Generation, a nonprofit whose mission is to accelerate meaningful forest restoration—and help stave off the scourge of climate change. Leslie will offer her wide-ranging observations about lifelong learning and how she made unconventional moves into uncharted territory later in life, and how we can all continue to grow—45 Forward.

Over the last few decades, addressing the needs of caregivers has emerged as national priority, with millions of people trying every day to balance work with family life—especially “sandwich generation” parents who are managing both child care and elder care. But there’s another type of caregiving that may have not received as much attention, but it, too, involves millions of families nationwide: It’s called kinship care, a term used to describe the raising of children by grandparents, as well as other relatives, and family friends. Recently, the term “grandfamily” was coined to describe families engaged in kinship care, although roughly 40 percent of these caregivers are not parents. In today’s episode, Gerard Wallace, the founder of the New York State Kinship Navigator, will talk about his deep and abiding advocacy on behalf of kinship caregivers and their families. Since graduating from law school more than 25 years ago, Jerry has become a leading expert on kinship care, drafting federal and state legislation, providing legal continuing education training on kinship law, and presenting at many conferences, commissions, and local forums. His work, along with other advocates, has resulted in more than 30 recommendations becoming laws, regulations or policy changes. Gerry has received numerous awards for his leadership, but more than these accolades, you will be inspired by his far-reaching knowledge of kinship issues; his devotion to supporting kinship families; and his commitment to raising national awareness of the needs, challenges and rewards of kinship care.

For more than 30 years, Adam Flattau successfully rose up the ranks of Corporate America to become the Eastern Regional Director of digital advertising and marketing for a leading commercial real estate information company. Then something happened. He found himself as the primary caregiver for his uncle Walter, who was released from the hospital into a rehab facility and Adam needed to find the best living option for his uncle. Later he had to go through similar processes with his mom and father-in-law, and each time Adam wished he had help in navigating these confusing, daunting tasks. This led to an unexpected—but extraordinarily rewarding—shift to a new career: ensuring that other families did not have to go through this process alone. In today’s episode, Adam, now a Certified Senior Advisor and owner of the Senior Care Authority franchise on Long Island, will talk about his mission guiding families through the challenging task of finding the best living and care solutions for their elderly loved ones, whether that means independent living, assisted living communities, memory care, or skilled nursing facilities. Adam, also a Certified Dementia Practitioner, will describe how he has worked with over 500 families to get the answers and information they need so they can make educated decisions and establish well-thought-out plans that help their loved ones thrive—safely, and with dignity. Now, when Adam is asked what he loves most about his work, he doesn’t hesitate. “Easy,” he says. “I love helping families, giving back to my community, and sleeping well at night.”

One of the tragic outcomes of the coronavirus pandemic was not only the number of deaths from COVID, but the number of deaths in the nation’s nursing homes—which, at one point accounted for more than a fifth of all deaths according to the federal government’s estimate. And what made these deaths even more grievous was that many of these elderly people died in isolation, cut off from loved ones, their essential caregivers, who were prevented from visiting them in their darkest hour. In the wake of this tragedy, there have been many critics of the nursing home system—pointing out the lack of oversight, the need for regulatory reform, and the need for high staffing levels with higher pay for the facilities staff. In today’s episode, we talk with Michell Arnot, the vice president of Gray Panthers NYC and Michelle and Carrie Leljedal, a Family Advocate with the Essential Caregiver’s Coalition in Illinois, who are co-chairing a dynamic, thought-provoking webinar series called Unity for Long-Term Care. Their aim? To form an alliance of advocates dedicated to improving the quality of life in the nursing home space across the nation. It’s not an easy task, and there are many entities and constituencies, with different opinions, ideas and strategies about how to fix the system. Michelle and Carrie will describe several of these efforts, not only to address specific issues, but how we could fundamentally rethink the way we view and provide long-term care. What are some of the alternatives to our current models? What does good “patient-centered care” look like? What can individuals do to make a difference in changing our complicated patchwork system of long-term care? It’s easy to dwell on the negative history—and hard to agree on a cohesive path forward. But Carrie and Michelle are steadfast in their view: To transform long-term care over the long term, those who advocate for change may disagree on specific issues, but must agree to move forward together.

We’ve all heard of Dr. Ruth. Now it’s time you met Dr. Marcus. In today’s episode, we talk with Dr. Bat Sheva Marcus, an internationally recognized, certified sex therapist, about her life helping women reclaim pleasure in their bodies and spirit. (And yes, men, too.) Author of the recently published book, “Satisfaction Guaranteed: How to Have the Sex You’ve Always Wanted,” Dr. Marcus will debunk the persistent myth that affects most of us from youth to older age: that great sex come naturally, and when it doesn’t, something’s wrong. Not so. Our sex life is constantly changing—that‘s the norm. The goal, Dr. Marcus says, is to keep things alive and interesting in our long-term monogamous relationships. Funny and forthright, she bridges the gap between the medical and psychological in women’s sexual health. When sex talk stays too theoretical and abstract, she says, it’s hard to implement changes in your life. So she offers an easy-to-use point system to help women analyze and improve the variables at work in their sex lives, from recapturing orgasms and rekindling lust, to parsing complicated relationships and discovering the real meaning of sex. Her guide covers it all—and you’ll want to hear

Over the last several years, a growing number of experts have been touting the health benefits of walking—especially as we get older, and need to find sustainable habits that keep us moving, fit and active. But while walking is certainly beneficial for individuals, the concept of walkability—that is, walkable communities—has become a cornerstone of forward-thinking urban planning. And it’s proving to have immense health, social and economic benefits for everyone. In today’s episode, we talk with Dan Burden, the nation’s most recognized expert on walkability, bicycle and pedestrian programs, who is the Director of Innovation and Inspiration for Blue Zones. Indeed, Dan has been innovating and inspiring people for more than 45 years, leading Time magazine to call him “one of the six most important civic innovators in the world.” In today’s conversation, Dan will explain what walkability means, and how we can reshape our built environment—our roadways, sidewalks, bicycle lanes and other pathways—to create healthier, more prosperous, environmentally sustainable and vital communities. He’ll describe specific ways we can create “complete streets” that serve the needs of automobile traffic, pedestrians and bicyclists—and ways we can all, as members of our communities, participate in the process. And you’ll learn how Dan employs his resolute “people-first approach” in helping the nation “get back on its feet.”

Many people may think they know about AARP when they get that letter in the mail, mysteriously inviting them to become a member as soon as they turn 50. Or when they see AARP ads on TV. But there’s a lot they probably DON’T know about AARP, and it’s worth knowing about the many dimensions of this national nonprofit organization of some 38 million members—founded in 1958 by Dr. Ethel Percy Andrus, a retired high school principal, with three founding principles: to promote independence, dignity and purpose for older persons; to enhance the quality of life for older persons; and to encourage older people “To serve, not to be served.” In today’s episode, we talk with two prominent AARP leaders: Beth Finkel, the long-time State Director of AARP New York, and James O’Neal, an independent consultant on older adult issues, and President of AARP New York. Beth and James will outline AARP’s many roles in advocacy, research, education programs, service, events, and resources that support older Americans. They’ll focus on a few major advocacy issues, such as protecting Social Security and Medicare; lowering prescription drug costs; and providing more support for family caregivers and home care workers. Beth and James will highlight AARP’s efforts—and their own personal involvement—in disrupting disparities in the treatment of older people. They’ll give a sample of the panoply of practical resources and services offered by AARP and its volunteers to the public—many of them free. And they’ll talk about the increasing importance of AARP’s Age-Friendly community approach—its commitment to intergenerational engagement, creating a more inclusive, vital society.

Many of us know someone who has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. It seems to be everywhere. People are living longer today, and our longevity is often given as one reason for its prevalence, since age is cited as the greatest risk factor for Alzheimer’s. But some people who have puzzling brain changes are surprisingly young—in their fifties—in the prime of mid-life. What they have is not “traditional” Alzheimer’s disease, but rather a different kind of dementia known as Posterior Cortical Atrophy, or PCA. In today’s episode—as we come to the end of Alzheimer’s & Brain Awareness Month—we talk with Jamie Talan, a widely recognized science writer who specializes in neuroscience and neurology and is the author of a new book, “Atypical Dementias: Understanding Mid-Life Language, Visual, Behavioral and Cognitive Changes.” Jamie will explain what researchers know about the causes of this type of dementia, which produces symptoms of visual impairment instead of the memory loss more commonly associated with Alzheimer’s. While there is no treatment yet for PCA, Jamie will also talk about her commitment to creating a lecture series and support groups, which are now serving thousands of people nationwide, leading to a better understanding of what these diseases look like and how we can improve the lives of patients and their caregivers.

If you’re downsizing your lifestyle, or retiring and moving to a new community—or simply trying clear out clutter to give yourself some breathing space—you’ve probably wondered if there are unseen treasures amid all the stuff you’ve collected over the years. Well, then, you should meet Keith Allibone. The owner of Good’s Vintage & Antiques, Keith got his first lessons in the trade from his father, a lifelong antiques expert who dragged him to flea markets in the early mornings of his youth. After initial forays into a few other businesses, Keith gradually forged his own path by scouring flea markets himself—as well as moving sales, auctions, sidewalk and yard sales, scrapyards, and cluttered houses—perhaps like yours. In today’s episode, Keith will talk about how he searches for the “diamonds in the rough,” whether vintage watches or fine, hand-crafted furniture from another era. He’ll share encounters with some memorable customers, and stories of unique pieces with equally unique histories. He’ll also offer advice and organizing strategies for homeowners, to help separate pieces of value from the merely pedestrian, what’s worth keeping or selling, and what you should donate or just throw away. And last, he’ll offer his perspective on how the online world is reshaping the antiques business, and what it means for both buyers and sellers, all those captivated by the financial and emotional rewards of treasure-hunting.

There’s a saying that “Everyone has a book in them,” but the question for many of us is, “How do I get it out?” In today’s episode, award-winning author Dr. Jan Yager reflects on her life as a writer, sociologist, speaker, and book coach, talking about her canon of more than 50 books—an eclectic list of nonfiction topics, novels, and illustrated children’s books. Jan will talk about her unique experiences writing a number of her major titles, including “How To Finish Everything You Start”; “When Friendship Hurts: How to Deal With Friends Who Betray, Abandon, or Wound You”; Work Less, Do More: The 7-Day Productivity Makeover, “Victims,” her classic book about crime victims; and here recently published memoir, “Looking Backward, Going Forward.” A book coach, workshop leader, college professor, and founder of a small press, Jan will also offer insights into the writing process, as well as how to get published and promote your book—hands-on advice for aspiring writers, but thoughts that even seasoned authors might find useful.