Conversations from the Heart

#45 - How Can I Listen to My Spouse When I'm Feeling So Defensive?


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Do you find yourself plotting out how you're going to respond to someone even while they're still talking to you?

We all do this.

And it never works well.  Not for any of us.

Upleveling our listening skills is one of the most important upgrades we can make for our relationships.   Today's episode is rich with ideas of where to focus during a conversation in order to create an experience that fosters intimacy and connection for both parties.

We discuss:

  • 1:20  I'm defensive and I jump to conclusions in conversations with my partner.  How do I stop?
  • 3:22  How to focus on our 2 internal listening resources
  • 4:28  Tips for listening deeply
  • 9:02  Surfacing universal human needs
  • 14:12  How "right" and "wrong" block our ability to listen from our heart
  • 15:58  Unlearning domination programming
  • 22:11  The price of disowning anger

To take advantage of today's Flash Sale, go to nvcacademy.com and get Naturalizing NVC: Authentic, Easy, Flowing Speech for 50% off


For ongoing practice and deeper learning, I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection

Twice a month, I host live calls where members bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

  • Join the School of Human Connection
  • Hop on my free Wednesday live call
  • Follow me on YouTube
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Conversations from the HeartBy Yvette Erasmus

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