Conversations from the Heart

#45 - How Can I Listen to My Spouse When I'm Feeling So Defensive?


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Do you find yourself plotting out how you're going to respond to someone even while they're still talking to you?

We all do this.

And it never works well.  Not for any of us.

Upleveling our listening skills is one of the most important upgrades we can make for our relationships.   Today's episode is rich with ideas of where to focus during a conversation in order to create an experience that fosters intimacy and connection for both parties.

We discuss:

  • 1:20  I'm defensive and I jump to conclusions in conversations with my partner.  How do I stop?
  • 3:22  How to focus on our 2 internal listening resources
  • 4:28  Tips for listening deeply
  • 9:02  Surfacing universal human needs
  • 14:12  How "right" and "wrong" block our ability to listen from our heart
  • 15:58  Unlearning domination programming
  • 22:11  The price of disowning anger

Join me Aug. 14th for my Truth Over Comfort Mini-Workshop. This is a game changer if you're longing for a way to show up authentically especially around people who might not understand. We'll discuss helpful strategies designed to facilitate your next sticky conversation.

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Get 20% off your annual NVC Library subscription using the code YVETTENVCLIBRARY at checkout at: https://nvcacademy.com/registration/signup/nvc-library

Here are more ways to connect with me:

  • Become a member of my online learning community
  • Join our calls live
  • Set up a private session
  • Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteer...
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Conversations from the HeartBy Yvette Erasmus

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