🔸 Looping back to #399.
2️⃣ In a business-like relationship, managers connect.

🔹 Parts:

2️⃣

🎓 What I'd like to do differently:

Direct accessing an exile, out of bounds? A gamble, and one I wouldn’t take without the context: Riben is a true fan of the work we do here, and one of the most active members of our community. The protectors are hidden here (or I'm just not listening very well), and by making contact with exile, I'm hoping to draw them out. Just experimenting with turning up the heat a little. In hindsight, not effective.

When I don’t get any response, I try something else. Do I sound impatient? At the time I was assessing it as curiosity. But I can see how I might mistake one for the other, if that curiosity is burning. Too much heat.

Do differently: if “feel towards” gives us nothing (that I can interpret), I’ll switch to direct access. If direct access gives us nothing, perhaps I’ll switch to “go for a swim” (let go of the model, experiment, play). I'll definitely listen back to this one a few times.

2️⃣

Lots I could do differently. “Is that right?” would be better than “right?” But I'm happy I followed through with my intention to try something different from last call.

I do wonder if this is a case of Self-leadership threatening a primary bond. I may have implied that Self can resurrect this relationship, when I don’t have any way of knowing that.

-----
🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form
😀Come chat with us: Discord

🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here:

Itunes

YouTube


How to leave a review - iPhone

👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire