The Brainy Business | Understanding the Psychology of Why People Buy | Behavioral Economics

462. The Power of Saying No with Vanessa Patrick


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In this episode of The Brainy Business podcast, Melina Palmer is joined by Dr. Vanessa Patrick, a renowned professor of marketing and author of the USA Today bestseller, The Power of Saying No. Together, they delve into the critical art of saying no and how it can empower individuals to take control of their lives. Vanessa shares her insights on why people struggle with saying no, the importance of setting personal policies, and how empowered refusal can help you manage your time and energy effectively.

Throughout the conversation, Melina and Vanessa discuss the psychological barriers that prevent us from saying no, the societal expectations that push us to say yes, and practical strategies to overcome these challenges. They explore the concept of "empowered refusal" and how shifting from "I can't" to "I don't" can transform our decision-making process. Vanessa also introduces her ART framework—Awareness, Rules, and Totality of Self—as a guide to mastering the art of saying no.

In this episode:

  • Discover why saying no is essential for personal and professional growth.
  • Learn about the psychological drivers that make us say yes when we want to say no.
  • Explore the ART framework for empowered refusal and how it can transform your life.
  • Understand the importance of personal policies and how they help in decision-making.
  • Gain insights into handling requests at work, especially non-promotable tasks.
Show Notes:

00:00:00 - Introduction Melina introduces Dr. Vanessa Patrick and focuses on the power of saying no.

00:04:00 - Vanessa's Background Vanessa shares her background and the motivation behind her research on saying no.

00:10:00 - The Struggle with Saying No Discussion on why people find it challenging to say no and the societal pressures involved.

00:20:00 - Empowered Refusal Introduction to the concept of empowered refusal and the ART framework.

00:30:00 - Personal Policies How personal policies can help in saying no and the difference between "I can't" and "I don't."

00:40:00 - Handling Work Requests Strategies for managing non-promotable tasks and saying no at work.

00:43:00 - Conclusion What stuck with you while listening to the episode? What are you going to try? Come share it with Melina on social media -- you'll find her as @thebrainybiz everywhere and as Melina Palmer on LinkedIn.

Thanks for listening. Don’t forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Android. If you like what you heard, please leave a review on iTunes and share what you liked about the show. 

I hope you love everything recommended via The Brainy Business! Everything was independently reviewed and selected by me, Melina Palmer. So you know, as an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. That means if you decide to shop from the links on this page (via Amazon or others), The Brainy Business may collect a share of sales or other compensation.

Let’s connect:

  • [email protected]
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  • Melina on LinkedIn
  • The Brainy Business on Youtube

Connect with Vanessa:

  • LinkedIn 

Learn and Support The Brainy Business:

Check out and get your copies of Melina’s Books

Get the Books Mentioned on (or related to) this Episode:

  • The Power of Saying No, by Vanessa Patrick
  • Indistractable, by Nir Eyal
  • Come Up For Air, by Nick Sonnenberg
  • Happier Hour, by Cassie Holmes
  • Work Well, Play More, by Marcey Rader

Top Recommended Next Episode: Decision Fatigue (ep 244)

Already Heard That One? Try These: 

  • Overwhelmed Brain and its impact on decision making (ep 358)
  • Cassie Holmes Interview (ep 257)
  • Planning Fallacy (ep 346)
  • Leidy Klotz Interview (ep 322)
  • An Overview of Lazy Brain Biases (ep 53)

Other Important Links: 

Brainy Bites - Melina’s LinkedIn Newsletter

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The Brainy Business | Understanding the Psychology of Why People Buy | Behavioral EconomicsBy Melina Palmer

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